Can you work nights with no childcare?

[Pixieknowle]

Due to recently losing my job we had to let our nanny go. It was extremely expensive and stressful as she became unreliable which led to me losing my job. I don’t want to employ another nanny.

My children are just under 2 and 5 and my husband works long hours and can’t do any drop offs / pick ups. He also would not be able to help if either child was sick etc. This is just how it is, he earns very well but in a cut throat industry. This won’t ever change.

Im reluctant to put the little one in nursery and start a new job at the same time, she’s been quite sickly as it is and I know for sure she will get sick at a new nursery this time of year which wont be compatible with starting a new job

I have been looking at night work, leaving after bedtime and home before my husband leaves. Can I look after a 2 year old and after school and work a night shift too? The pay is minimum wage so really not worth it if I have to pay for childcare (we don’t qualify for any funded childxare)

Please please don’t - my DM did this and it was horrible, she was so irritable and grumpy with us all the time from lack of sleep and we had to creep around our own home on eggshells. We were far too little to moderate like this and to understand, even thinking about it now makes me tense and anxious. She eventually had a breakdown and we hid cuddling each other while she screamed and uptipped the house. My parents financial position was not good and I understand their reasons, you do not need to do this to your kids in your situation.

My aunt and uncle did this for years but only when their youngest was school age, my aunt would get home tag my uncle out do the school run then go home and sleep until pick up. She's never been someone who needs lots of sleep though and did 3-4 nights a week 12 hour shifts. Uncle worked regular 9-5/6 type hours and was very hands on in terms of the children and house, which wasn't the norm in the 80s. I don't think it's going to work with a 2 year old in the house

I wouldn't do it. When my DS was a baby I used to do 2am to 10am. I had to pick him up from nursery at 12:30.
I did two weekday mornings and one on the weekend. It was really really hard going. Although this won't be an issue for you it was also too much for DS really. He used to be woken by DH at 6:30 and in nursery for 7:15.
For my own health I left and got a job with more normal hours.
You can try it but I think it will be too much and there will also come a time when your DC won't nap so you won't get a break at all during the day.

Plus you are contributing massively.. don't ever underestimate that. I was a solo parent and I had to pay for childcare help to enable me to work - and it cost me a lot.
you are saving your DP so much by loving and looking after your child

I used to do a 12 hour night shift 7-7 Tuesday and Friday slept as soon as I came in off both shifts till 2 pm ( I was in my twenties)

I was totally fucked all week and eventually had to stop night shift take a toll on your health you eat badly and put on weight

ni way could I do it and look after a toddler it’s not safe at all

Oh, what a surprise, yet another husband with a Big Important Job that takes priority over anything and everyone else.

As others have said it sounds impractical as you need to sleep and also sounds a bit pointless if you don’t actually need the money

This is absolutely crazy, if you don't nee the money, contribute to your family instead...

Hi op Why would you want to work overnight for minimum wage why not just accept it’s not convenient right now and let your dh support his family and review it when dc at school then you could work a couple of nights then sleep when dc in school. Op you are out of your mind if you think you can do 24 hours without sleep if your fortunate to survive without this income don’t do it just to contribute a small amount of money when it’s not necessary there’s plenty of time to work.

She has said they don't need the money, it's just OP feeling guilty not contributing financially, which she should she is contributing to the family...

In short...No! You need to sleep. Working nights in your 20's, when you presumably didn't have children or responsibilities, is vastly different to now.

It won't matter too much when your daughter starts nursery, she will pick up bugs/viruses. It's part and parcel of a child going to nursery/pre-school.

You have several choices: your daughter starts nursery now, you decide to wait until the winter months are over before she starts nursery with you staying at home until then or you stay at home until your daughter starts school.

You can't work nights, even one night and expect to look after a 2 year old. It's unsafe, and there's a real possibility that you are so tired, you fall asleep, leaving her unsupervised.

What on earth am I reading?!

You'd be able to contribute financially if your husband actually took some responsibility for kids!

You're 100% responsible for the kids and he's 100% responsible for earning money. That's not how I'd want to do it but it's certainly how a lot of people do it and it works for them. If you're going to be responsible for earning some money then he has to be responsible for doing some childcare drop offs and pick ups.

Are none of his colleagues parents at all? Do none of his colleagues ever take time off or start later/ finish earlier because of their kids?? It seems very unusual that he wouldn't have any flex at all.

You will be financially contributing. You'll be saving on childcare until little ones go to school.im 2 years.

I'm not for woman giving up work and making themselves financially vulnerable but in your specific situation, I think it's sensible as long as he can pay for pension contributions while out of work.

Really?

When my boys were aged 2 and 4 I worked 7 til midnight shelf stacking at our local supermarket. Much the same, minimum wage but I could do it without needing any childcare. Id usually manage at least 6 hours sleep and I didnt work consecutive nights so it worked out ok. Did it for a couple of years until DS2 started school. Could be an option? I dont think working all night is feasible

Yes you do!! I used to work Thursday night, Friday night. My Friday was horrendous and then my weekend was a write off

Of course!

Could you do a Friday or Saturday night?

I’d also worry about school holidays and the older child being about.

Maybe made responsible for the younger?

Don’t do it OP

But you are contributing financially.. how much are you saving him in childcare (and domestic services) costs?

Have you got access to family money, OP?
Are you being criticised for not earning?

100% no OP. HTH.

Why

Am I missing something here? You don’t need to contribute financially to be contributing to the family?! If I didn’t need to work financially, I wouldn’t be. I’d be a much better mother if I wasn’t always knackered from work.

My friends did this for years. 8pm until 2am nursing. Seemed like superwoman but had a total breakdown and developed a heart condition, just wrecked her

?

You are contributing financially. You know, very well, how much it costs to employ someone to care for children.