DP’s son moving in

[maximusss]

I suspect I’m being unreasonable here but I thought it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions.

My DP has a DS19, sees him usually once a week when he comes to stay.

We’re due to exchange on a house next week and last night DP dropped in to conversation over dinner that his DS will be moving in full time when we are in the new house.

Now I know this is his son, and I like him, but AIBU to think there should have been slightly more discussion on this? I worry about what else he will drop on me without notice or discussion further down the line. Maybe it’s me being dramatic, it’s just made me feel a little uneasy for some reason.

Thank goodness it's on hold OP. Do you feel bad about letting down both your buyer and the joint house seller? If you do, please don't let any of that stop you doing what is right for YOU. I guarantee they wouldn't GAF about you.

Don't move in with that man OP....you've been told

That is not what she is upset about. It's the lack of discussion and the dictation she is confused by and I fully concur with her.

I’m glad you have breathing space and can hopefully have a chat about this

@maximusss How are you doing? What’s your dp’s view on the situation? How has he taken the decision to delay and possibly cancel the purchase?

19 is a very young adult. My children were still studying at that age and our home was their home. I doubt many 19 year olds who live completely independently. Having said that OPs partner should have discussed it with OP and not just assumed.

@Tryagain26 Yes, most 19-year-olds are still based at home. What would concern me in this situation is that her DSS is being asked to leave by his Mum due to his behavior - so some boundaries need to be set before he moves in with the OP and his Dad.

Absolutely there should be boundaries but doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be expectation that 19yo should not be able to live in the house

I really hope the OP gets the ending she deserves.

@maximusss I feel you have decided to just go along with this . I would advise to have something in writing with regards to possible sale of the house . You need to put down that the house can be sold if the relationship doesn't work !. Or else you are stuck and will have to spend a lot of Money in court to get your money out. Protect yourself or else you will regret it!

That is excellent, maximussss. Gives you a bit longer to think.

Personally I wouldn't move in together but it's obviously up to you.