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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

607 replies

Tiredboymum22 · 22/01/2026 13:31

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

OP posts:
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Boycotting · 28/01/2026 18:35

Buryedmunds · 27/01/2026 11:06

Or they say they do.

We both worked full time since our kids were 8 months old. We dropped them and picked them up from nursery. I am a hospital consultant so also had oncall shifts. We still both cooked at home and didn’t have phones to hand to our kids in the early 2000s. It was hard work but that’s young kids. They are functioning adults now and both the boy and girl can cook! One has started a grad job in the city and still cooks. It’s not impossible for some of us!

Boycotting · 28/01/2026 18:36

Buryedmunds · 27/01/2026 11:12

i wouldn’t let my partner cook he doesn’t know how to, there is never any flavour! I’d rather do it myself and actually enjoy the meal! Some men are better outside the kitchen and earning the money as my old man used to say!

Oh weaponised incompetence and the wife making excuses. Seen it time and time again sadly.

Yopoy · 28/01/2026 19:49

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 28/01/2026 10:48

Quite a few of us with none addicted kids in that age range or older have been told the fact our kids are fine is irrelevant as techs all different now.

It's ADHD in our family but kids have under our roof learnt to regulate time spent on screens and other aspects of their lives - which is good because older two are at uni and I have no input on what they now do.

I do think there are valid concerns round screen but I don't think it new. I remember being lectured by a few other parents as my kids didn't have hand held screens their kids did or play computer games as they wouldn't be preapted for programing and tech jobs - I had to point out DH and I were in that sector and had found our way there despite not having that and that coding games would be better than just any game.

We used sure start and I remember by bemused by a mother who just didn't talk to her DS becasue he wasn't speaking yet - me and another mother had entire conversation - also at home the TV was on all the time. Apaprently two mothers saying what staff had been telling her for months made a huge difference. That all gone now and that and cuts in speach thearpy services won't be helping.

So I'm not in camp tech bros can be trusted or that unlimted screen time is a good idea - I'm saying there are issues but the moral panic is obscuring them. I think moderation and a lot of input on what is being consumed is vital.

It's like posters who don't want under 16 to have smart phones - here all public transport timetables and tickets is on apps now apparenty that's irrelevant but I think making it harder for teens to be out and about independenly does matter as if it happens less and less it starts to be like playing out as kids less socially acceptable and it's starts on a downward curve.

Show quote history

Not having a smart phone doesn't make it harder to be independent, it teaches you not to be reliant on being spoon fed. Not having an smart phone doesn't mean you'll never be able to catch a bus and all hope is lost, I hate this attitude and so many kids have it.

The rest I broadly agree with you.

Theolittle · 02/02/2026 07:07

Lmnop22 · 26/01/2026 20:39

It’s alright to say that when you have kids that will sit with a puzzle or colouring at the table for half an hour. My kids (and maybe it’ll get better when they’re a bit bigger) just bounce off the walls and don’t play well together yet (6 and 2) so it descends into arguments or the whole room will be turned upside down whilst my back is turned.

I try to limit screens to 20-30 minutes whilst I cook tea and then maybe winding down with a Disney movie together some evenings etc but it’s still somethings which, in small doses, makes life immeasurably easier in my house!

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But the arguments and you telling them how to behave is how they learn how to behave!

jasflowers · 02/02/2026 07:21

Screens etc are just lazy parenting, i understand the why's but its all excuses... engage with your children, encourage independent play - yes there will be specific examples why this may not be possible but theses are the exception.

Now its just easier to give a child a device at 18m or 2 years (sometimes even younger) and very soon its an addiction.

Then when older, we have all the other issues of on-line bullying, grooming etc and calls for the Govt to "Step in" with bans etc

Jade3450 · 03/02/2026 07:16

Theolittle · 02/02/2026 07:07

But the arguments and you telling them how to behave is how they learn how to behave!

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Nailed it in one sentence 👏

Whizzywhisk · 05/02/2026 23:02

Our kids are quite spaced out so it was easy to avoid iPads with the older one and to an extent the second one. The third was an older toddler during lockdown, with me trying to work from home and home school the other two (who were also bbc bite size and times table rock stars ing on tablets at home) so the tablet did feature in her life much more at that formative time. I have used phones/tablets during potty training, at times when she was difficult to get in the buggy to do the school run, and when I’ve met up with a vulnerable friend for a coffee and needed to give her all of my attention (probably getting lots of judgy looks in the cafe). I’m not particularly proud that I didn’t have better methods than that, but here we are.

We did have to “lose” the tablet at one stage because we noticed it does become addictive as others have mentioned. She was awful for a few days but got over it and was nicer/more engaged after that.

i think i see the tablet a bit like sugar or UPF, something we know our kids don’t need and definitely shouldn’t be having a lot of. But I also know I am not a super parent who can run a home on Montessori toys, home made snacks and the wheels on the bus, and some days it is about being pragmatic. I don’t feel guilty about it and wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel judged either, but equally I don’t think we can go the other way and wave it all away as if it doesn’t matter. Limiting our kids access to lots of things is part of our job as parents and it is good that parents are becoming more aware of it. I also think it’s a bit like diet, not just cutting things out but also making sure their lives are educationally “nutritional” getting outdoors, holding conversations, playing with others, role play etc.

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