To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

Yes we watched TV in the past, but when I was a kid in the 70s, we only had 3 channels and children's programmes were on for 90 mins or so after school. Now, so much more available

But oh joy when CITV was launched with stuff like Danger mouse and then dare I say Phillip Schofield in the Broom Cupboard.

Screens. TVs DVDs ViDEOS that what we had before we had ipads and laptops. Before that kids went outside and ruled themselves.
With regards to supporting those with children with neurodiversity there was more provision.
We also punished children for stepping out of line in ways that we now know are unacceptable - we took away meals we beat them we locked them in places.
We moan at parents who don't make meals from scratch. We moan at parents who don't entertain their children with projects and crafts.....probably because they are making meals from scratch.
We have had tv for children since the 70s and 60s.
Playschool
Playaway
Fingers obsessed
Itsy and bitsy
Mr Benn
Captain Pugwash
Crystal Tips
Pipkins
What don't You
Bill and Ben
Magic Roundabout
Ivor the Engine
These shows got replaced and updated they went on Cbeebies Cbbc Milkshake
We got Netflicks Disney BbC player
And these were online so could be on the big screen and little screens
Kids have been watching screens since the 1950s evens. In the 80s we had videos and the 90s 00s DVDs
So kids didn't have screens is rubbish.
And I love Bluey

I think by ‘screens’ posters are talking specifically about phones and iPads rather than TV, and even more specifically about addictive brain-rot reels than educational games.

Today’s children wouldn’t sit in front of ‘Why Don’t You?’ and watch it. They need fast-moving, ultra-garish, loud content. WDY was boring as hell in 1985. Children NEED stimulation now or they have meltdowns. I can’t see how anybody can’t see that. We didn’t have the screaming ab-dabs when Willo’ the Wisp finished at 5.35 and the news came on. We knew that our TV was over for the day, and went and did something else.

Are you referring to autistic style crisis when you say screaming abdabs?

Why don't you was aimed at children between from about 8 upwards. Always with scheduled viewing programmes there was no way to replay Will o the wisp which was just before the news and therefore everything moved on. And it was probably bath and bed anyway. It was 6pm.
The cartoons in the 80s were just as exciting as today and probably less kind, more sexist.
My point was there have been screens for kids for decades. Controllable screens since videos dvds and streaming services which is since the late 70s.
We had Blue Peter and Jackanory and Lizzie Dripping and the Double Deckers and Grange Hill and all the teatime viewing to occupy us whilst tea was made and it ran from after school to around 6pm
And Crackerjack and Runaround.

I'm not sure you, or many people on this thread, have been around today's children who don't have meltdowns when the TV is turned off, because I genuinely don't know a single one who does this and I'm in the young children trenches along with a lot of my circle.

Maybe you've seen one or two do it? Or maybe you've read too many MN threads about kids that do this. Or (and I'm not talking about you specifically) it's your own kids. But I don't believe from my own experience it's as widespread as MN would have you believe.

we took away meals we beat them we locked them in places.

Who is 'we'? You and people you know might have done that. I don't know anyone who did.

I’m talking about a meltdown, not exclusive to ND children. I read lots of parents of NT and ND children saying they need a screen to ‘self-regulate’. They mean ‘regulate’, not ‘self-regulate’. It’s literally the opposite of self-regulation. It’s using a device to regulate them.

Whilst I have sympathy for those parents (my autistic son is in his 30s now, so I do understand the horrors of constant meltdowns and the impact on the rest of the family), I don’t think the answer is to get them addicted to a tablet, just so you can use it to pacify them.

Screens are addictive. Half of all teenagers report being addicted to their phones. Why would you expose your toddler to that? You wouldn’t give them drugs, get them addicted and then give them a hit of heroin or Benzos to calm them down so you can make dinner or have five minutes peace. I’ve seen 4 year olds watching TikToks who are able to navigate an iPad like a seasoned pro, whose parents think it’s something to be proud of. It really isn’t.

The other point that seems to be lost in the TV vs screens argument is that you had no choice around TV. You watched Will o the Wisp at the same time as your friends and class mates and chatted about it next day. Same with Family from One End St or the Edith Nesbit adaptations. Even George Best's football skills programmes! TV now doesn't bring people together in the way it used to.

It's isolating. And I see the "screaming abdabs" from non divergent family members (ie niece/nephews largely, my DCs are adults and grew up before screens were a thing). My house, my rules and when I say put the phone/tablet down now, I mean it. I don't see it from the DCs who are not allowed screens or where screen time is strictly managed.

I think it's gone beyond being a parenting issue and it's a societal issue now.

You’ve misunderstood. PP are saying that tablets and phones are no different to children watching TV. I don’t see children becoming hysterical when the TV is turned off, in the way they do when an iPad is withdrawn. Not all ‘screens’ do the same damage. I think it’s disingenuous to say that using an iPad is just the same as watching Grange Hill.

I think some screen time which is age appropriate. There is a huge difference between the children who are constantly glued to ipads, phones and TV vs ones that aren't; imagination, social skills, concentration, language.
It drives me mad when my MIL comes and her go to is to switch the TV on and let them play mindless games on her phone. She is a different generation, and it is just lazy.
I agree with TV when cooking, especially as a single parent, but not when children are always on devices.
Our kids have ipad for flights. Games on phones is educational in someway.
I think limited use forms the basis of them not becoming obsessed with it as teenagers.
I also agree with the ban on social media for under 16s.

I am referring to the supposedly good old days when children didn't act up that people hark back to.

Well considering we are both gamers I am going to say no we didn't.

Fair enough but how did parents manage BEFORE there were games and tablets etc

They would send them outside to play with their friends all day or sit them in front of the TV.

Same for tablets here though. I've never once had a meltdown from DD when we turn it off. Or seen a friend or family members child have one.

How often do you actually experience this happening? Or is it just something you read about?

As an ex-primary teacher (left in July), seen it plenty. But even more so, it's one of the biggest excuses/moans we hear from parents when we have to have behaviour chats.

I’ve seen it loads - my nephews and niece go hysterical! They’ve been on iPads constantly since they were babies. I’ve also seen friends’ children do it. I’m not talking about children who have a tablet for 20 minutes a day. These are children who spend hours every day on one.

You need to be teaching them to help with cooking. How do you think mums coped before screens.

But I think the reason so many people believe it's "hysteria" over the damage they can do is because they don't give them tablets for hours on end so they don't see this behaviour.

Which to be honest just backs up the argument that moderate use is fine.

What that parents don't want to come off their screens?

To be fair @Nevermind17 why don't you was utter shit. The only reason. I ever watched it was because I couldn't be bothered to get off my backside and do something less boring instead. But invariably I soon would have to as my stepdad or older brother would turf me out of the living room when the Test Match would come on and out we would go.

It’s been a long time since there were no screens at all - I have no doubt people coped in the same way people coped without electric lights, ovens and the internet, but if you don’t have to because screens have been invented, why make your life harder when you could allow your children short periods in front of the tv so you can operate at maximum efficiency on a busy school night?!

Not really a lot of time 2/3 hours a day. All interactive nothing where they just sat staring.
And I realise that your response regarding school is interactive - but as I'm dyslexic teaching maths and reading was not something I could do easily, and it was something I wanted them to start to learn early so they wouldn't be like me and leave school not being able to read!
I'm glad they won't have the struggles that I've had to live with all my life!

I read lots of parents of NT and ND children saying they need a screen to ‘self-regulate’. They mean ‘regulate’, not ‘self-regulate’. It’s literally the opposite of self-regulation. It’s using a device to regulate them.

Absolutely this. It teaches them nothing about how to manage their nervous system.