To lock the bathroom door?

479 replies

Skater78 · 20/01/2026 08:41

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

OP posts:

PerksOfNotBeingAWallflower · 23/01/2026 19:26

We don’t have a lock on our bathroom door, we have a closed door policy. If the door is shut you can’t go in. 30 years, two children, numerous sleepovers and guests in that time, never been an issue.

Cherrytree86 · 23/01/2026 21:16

T1Dmama · 23/01/2026 08:50

This. First comment nailed it!
why on earth does he think he has the right to invade your privacy 24/7?
If he knows you’re showering can he not clean his teach prior? Tell him - I’m having a shower shortly - can you clean your teeth now if you’re going to?!
Can the toothbrushes not live somewhere else? Kitchen ? …. I find having toothbrushes in the same room as the loo where we take a dump so unhygienic! It’s proven when the loo is flushed poo and wee particles get into the the air when we flush! 🤮
Does he control other areas of your life too? Listen to your calls? Read your texts? Sulk when you go out so it’s easier not to?

Show quote history

@T1Dmama

keep your toothbrushes in a cabinet to protect from poo particles

Coaly · 23/01/2026 21:24

Skater78 · 21/01/2026 20:15

And to all those that leave the door open and don’t mind partner coming in and out and I don’t find that weird. It doesn’t surprise me that people are comfortable with it .
I just prefer to have privacy when I pee or shower, it’s especially the sudden unexpected entrance with no warning I don’t like. You give yourself to kids, dh, work and god knows what with hardly any time for yourself having a quick pee or shower behind a locked door doesn’t seem too much to ask.

OP, yanbu. You married SOOO SOooo down.

You married low class scum.
I am so sorry.
Privacy is SO basic within a normal marriage.

35 years married and we never needed a single conversation about it, because basic respect of each other was our foundation.

This is an awful dynamic.
Stop ignoring it.

welshmercury · 25/01/2026 18:32

Skater78 · 21/01/2026 20:11

Someone asked if this has always been an issue. So not right at the beginning but for a long time yes, but it’s not something that happens every day or even week because we tend to use the bathroom at a certain time and we have gotten used to that and don’t necessarily clash but of course it did happen sometimes. I do often bite my tongue for a quiet life but as I’ve got older I’m less inclined to put up with people’s shit.
the fact he won’t even knock just annoys the hell out of me.
Last night, I was brushing my teeth and hadn’t locked the door ( generally I lock if using the loo or having a shower). As I mentioned before it’s so small that there isn’t really room for 2 people to use the sink. I said, I’m nearly finished just about to use the loo could you give me two minutes, he made a big huff and show of getting his toothbrush and storming off. He was already in bed by the time I went to the bedroom and I said I was nearly done why couldn’t you just wait, he snapped in tired and you are stopping me going to bed.
i know like 100% know that he was only coming in to make a point because we had squabbled about it in the morning. It’s just petty and pointless.
anyway no mention of it today bathroom used without incident.

Maybe make an announcement like a train. I‘m going in the bathroom. Do you want to go first?

I’m fed up of dealing with other people drama and just want some privacy too.

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