To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

Nope. Bathroom time, be it for using the toilet, brushing teeth, showering, bathing or plucking eyebrows is a private time and people just have to wait their turn.

I started locking it when the kids got older, if just me and dh in house I close it but not lock it.
I discovered recently I am apparently odd to be locking doors and not wandering around naked in front of my 18yr ds as that is what some friends do.

If my husband told me I was only allowed to shit in the downstairs loo, I’d probably shit on his pillow and leave 😊

I think locking the door is important for your emotional wellbeing. I think it is reasonable that your partner would be OK with this. Who wants to be intruded upon when they are in the shower? Besides locking the door is not so much to keep people out as to establish a safe and calm environment for taking a shower. Also, anyone who has seen "Psycho" might just want to lock the bathroom anyway.

I don’t lock the door but I know that no-one would stroll in when I was in the bathroom, if I thought they would then I would lock the door

He is being very strange.

Why would he “need” to do anything at all, at the exact moment you’re using the bathroom? The only possible reason is a stomach bug and I’m sure if that was the case, you could reach a reasonable agreement.

I mean, we barely close the door all the way in our family....seems weird you feel the need to lock out your husband, and says volumes about the state of your relationship if you lock him out while you're just taking a shower.

Utter rubbish

No it doesn't. When did it become the "cool wife" thing to use the toilet in front of your spouse?

I grew up in a house where people would barge in and out if I was in the bath and it really embarrassed me ( one toilet household) So maybe his upbringing? You are totally entitled to privacy - push back hard.
My DH goes to bed quite early and if he’s asleep I have another toothbrush I keep downstairs so not to wake him. Tell him to get a spare if time is so tight in a morning.

@Sunsetseascape

surely it’s precisely because he sees you naked (because you have sex) that you don’t want him to see you having a poo, or vice versa??

@TheCheekyCyanHelper

what if you’re wanting to shave your minge or whatever in the shower ??

also are you actually saying your partner sees on bog having a poo? And vice versa?? Surely not

No not really, he’s not disgusted by bodily functions and neither am I. Weirdly, when we have sex, neither of us are focussing on what the other looks like on the toilet.

We’re both open minded and easy going and would rather have a relaxed environment where we both feel comfortable and free to be ourselves than worrying all the time about whether the other has seen us sat on the toilet 🥴 it sounds exhausting to me. I struggle enough with managing daily life without having to concern myself with that as well! I couldn’t be with one of the “girls don’t poo” brigade of men. Or the ones who are horrified by periods 🤣

just seen your other reply to someone else - yes, he has seen me “shave my minge” just like I’ve seen him shave his face. And balls 🤣

In fact, my downstairs toilet doesn’t even have a door at the moment! (Renovating) I forgot about that haha!

You are not being unreasonable. I have the same from my DH both about locking the door, and not pooing in en suite

There’s a childhood trauma thing behind the latter, and the locking he just doesn’t get.

To me it’s an automatic thing whenever I use bathroom to lock the door. But he teases rather than moans, and I accommodate the pooing cos I do understand why it’s a thing for him.

We dont have a lock of feel the need to habe to lock the door as we respect each others privacy and it depends on the time If its first thing in the morning and im having a shower I dont mind if my wife nips in to use the toilet if my wife wants a relaxing bath in evening or when kids are home I get whatever is needed out and try get the kids to go to the toilet before she goes in and brush their teeth before or do it in the kitchen closer to bedtime. I'd make a point of locking the door everytime since your dp is taking the piss

Highly unlikely since insulin in the 60s would take a good hour to have any effect at all on coma-level glucose levels.

It must be exhausting to live with a controlling husband like this. No wonder you want some privacy. He doesn’t respect your boundaries

As a kid in a family of 6 with1 bathroom noone was in the bathroom at the same time, we organised our routines to fit with when people need to be in and then out of the house.
Now as a family with 1 bathroom, I check before I go in for a shower (10mins) or bath (upto and hour) if anyone needs the bathroom , for ANY reason to go in now, cos once im in, I'm in. That door is locked and its a bit of me time!

My ex used to hate when I locked the bathroom door (even in our tiny en-suite where there was no need for him to come in for anything, especially as there was a main bathroom almost directly outside our bedroom door). This was definitely part of a larger picture of coercive control and a complete intolerance for any kind of boundaries on my part. The first time I had a bath in my post-divorce home with the door locked, I actually started shaking with relief as I hadn’t realised just how much this had symbolised his total disregard for my right to dignity and choice.
This is obviously my story and I don’t want to make assumptions about yours, but I do think it’s worth considering what the broader context of this demand/behaviour is in your relationship x

When we remembered that we aren't Victorian nor should we be ashamed of our family members seeing our bodies uncovered.

Thats what shower curtains and shower doors are for. The rest of the bathroom is free to access. Our water system and shower even has a special temperature control on it so flushing the toilet doesn't affect the shower water temp.

We only have one bathroom in our house, so as a courtesy we always check if anyone needs the loo before before showering. If you don't go when given the chance, then you have to wait. Everyone is entitled to privacy.

Do you accept that not everyone feels the same ? The OP wants privacy , her DH can use another toilet but chooses to try to invade her privacy .
I know someone whose husband is exactly the same . He also opens her nail . It’s all about control .

It's not about that though. Who wants to sh*t in front of someone else, and who wants to be there when someone does? Eeeeeuuuuuuuwwwww.

It's not prudish to want a bit of privacy, whether that's in the bathroom or bedroom.