To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

Yep. And speaking as someone who has only ever lived in a one toilet household, I'm goggling at the sheer entitlement of weirdos living in two plus toilet/bathroom places, who have the sheer entitlement to have a problem with someone locking the door to just one of the them while they're using it. Wtf is that all about? 🤷‍♀️

We don't tend to lock the bathroom door in my house - but this is because our kids are pre teen and it's the only toilet...so sometimes someone will need a wee when im in the bath...

@TheCheekyCyanHelper

this! Ick

Nope, it says volumes about your lack of understanding of people's desire and need for privacy, no matter how long they've been in a relationship, or how many babies they've pushed out in front of their OH, or whatever. And I speak as someone whose DH has had to lift me on and off a bedpan at a time when I've been immobile. Now, he still stays out the room when I use the loo, wash or brush my teeth etc. Because he doesn't own my body, and understands and respects my privacy, even after thirty years together and twenty seven married. And that's just how it should be.

He shouldn't be saying you shouldn't as we are all entitled to privacy. We have a seperate toilet and bathroom so if someone is in the shower we may go in to wash hands maybe but don't usually. The bathroom doesn't have a lock but the toilet does.

Well we've moved from a three bed house with two bathrooms and a downstairs toilet to a 4 bedroom with upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet only. We both get up at around 5.15am and leave the house at around 6.30am two of the five weekdays so we don't have the luxury of our own bathrooms anymore!

If partner cleaning teeth or on loo I will have a shower and vice versa. Maybe we are the exception rather than the rule. It doesn't bother either of us although I can't stand toothpaste froth spat out, it makes me heave. I just turn my back!

We’re both open minded and easy going and would rather have a relaxed environment where we both feel comfortable and free to be ourselves

@Sunsetseascape can you not see that’s exactly what the op wants. An environment where she feels comfortable?

Do you tell them you're about to get in the bath so that they can use the loo beforehand? I guess by pre-teen you mean late primary age? They should be able to not need to loo in the time it takes you to have a bath. Or are you in there for hours?

If it's your choice he certainly should respect that. Many couples don't lock the door, but he should give it rest, and respect your wishes

I didn’t say she didn’t? Nor did I say she was wrong for wanting that? Not sure where you’re making this info up from! I was answering the question that was posed to me!

We have two toilets so no problem if someone needs it.
I don't lock the door if I am having a bath and only DH and I at home in case I don't feel well etc but otherwise do

Having the door locked when showering, isn't a biggy for me but I also don't just walk into the bathroom when my partner is having a shower. I completely understand why you'd want some privacy, especially as your DH is so insistent on you keeping the door unlocked whilst you're in there, that's not normal!! As for locking it when youre on the toilet, WHY would anyone WANT to brush their teeth when the bathroom is already occupied with someone having a poo?? 🤢
He's being massively unreasonable to expect you to keep the door unlocked when you're using the bathroom. He should learn some respect and to wait!!

I said using the toilet, not being naked.

So you shit in front of all your family members? Cool

@FlippersOrFins

I don’t want to be in the room with anyone who is using the toilet. Yuck.

Not unreasonable to lock the door. It is unreasonable that you have to!! I don't think the lock works on my bathroom door... It hasn't for years. It doesn't matter because no one goes into the bathroom if someone is in there. I don't lock the door when I go to my partner's house and use a bathroom. It just wouldn't occur to me that I would need to.

That's exactly my point.

Tell him to "fuck off". Privacy is a basic human dignity, that should be respected. 💐

sorry I meant to tag @TheCheekyCyanHelper instead of you

He is being unreasonable to expect free entry when you're using the toilet or having a shower. I lock the door when I poo if dp is home. We are very open in our house but we all draw our lines and I don't want him seeing me poo and I also dont want to see him doing a poo.
Sometimes my 5 yo will insist she has to sit with me while I poo, so I unlock the door to let her in then lock it again.
But rely, what matters here is you want privacy and your partner is telling you thats not normal. He's not normal

If a bedroom door or bathroom door is closed —- in my house—- you knock and wait to be invited to enter. It’s respect.

also who could possibly want to be in the bathroom with someone is using the toilet?

.... or piss in a plastic portable bottle or other container , and then pour it onto the compost , or dilute it x 10 and on the garden .

This. First comment nailed it!
why on earth does he think he has the right to invade your privacy 24/7?
If he knows you’re showering can he not clean his teach prior? Tell him - I’m having a shower shortly - can you clean your teeth now if you’re going to?!
Can the toothbrushes not live somewhere else? Kitchen ? …. I find having toothbrushes in the same room as the loo where we take a dump so unhygienic! It’s proven when the loo is flushed poo and wee particles get into the the air when we flush! 🤮
Does he control other areas of your life too? Listen to your calls? Read your texts? Sulk when you go out so it’s easier not to?

I haven’t read beyond the first comment and just read all yours @Skater78 … but judging by your responses I’m shocked that anyone on here thinks it’s reasonable for your DH to just come and go as he pleases..
You say he locks the door when he’s in the loo? Be petty back and hammer on the door when he’s showering. or even better tell him…. I’m a 40 whatever year old woman … I think I should be allowed to have a 15 minute shower a day in fucking peace!! Be graphic and tell him you actually want to be able to wash your arse hole without someone just walking in without even knocking! Tell him you feel like this is a consent issue and if you want a shower in your own house without someone ANYONE walking in then that is your god given right!!Tell him you find his insistence that you aren’t allowed this privacy very disrespectful and in future if he tries the door and it’s locked he needs to piss off and come back 20 minutes later when you’re done. Tell him that he needs to change his response because he’s being very unreasonable.. he needs to clean his teeth etc before or after your bathroom use as you will be continuing to lock the door as you are entitled to your 15 minutes a day of undisturbed showering etc…
Also I would literally be challenging why he can lock the door and prevent you from using the bathroom when he’s in there, but moans about you doing the same… does he think he’s the lord of the manor? Rules apply to everyone but him?!…
im glad he respects his daughters privacy… maybe ask him how he would feel if his daughters married someone who wouldn’t let them shower in peace or told them whether they were ‘allowed’ to lock their own bathroom doors!!

Spot on.