To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

The problem is he is not respecting her enough to give her 2 mins of privacy. It's a power play. If it weren't about power then he'd either just wait the 2 mins or buy himself another toothbrush but he is choosing to pick fights and deliberately, repeatedly intrude on her.

Oh totally

but if have spare ones then no reason for him to come in and be an arse

Lock the door, why shouldn’t you have some privacy

Pretty sure he would find another reason to invade her privacy.

My partner is the door locker in our relationship. He doesn't even do it on purpose, just a reflex/force of habit. I was a bit sus about it when we first started living together, until I found out that he does it when home alone as well, when I got a phonecall asking me to come home and get him out of the bathroom as the lock had broken 😅

Tbh if my partner needed to help me in an emergence, it wouldn’t take much to get past the lock

He is weirdly controlling around bathrooms and toilets.

Urgh there are times when I definitely want to be alone, Saturday morning to have 15 minutes to do a face mask and wash my hair without kids around, definitely locking the door. Or time of the month when period meets IBS and no one would want to be in there for that.
We are lucky to have four toilets so I get it must be difficult to have to form a plan for large families especially midweek days but if any member wishes to be alone behind a locked door then it’s an absolute basic need, no questions asked.

Op he does sound disrespectful tbh. He gets moody just because he has to wait to brush his teeth honestly not sure why you haven’t flipped on him. I would have slammed the door after telling him to fuck off but that is because it doesn’t sound like he listens to your wants or needs. He thinks your boundaries are for him to choose not the other way around.

Actually they have three ... enjoy suite to loft bedroom (daughter's), main bathroom, and downstairs loo.

*En suite!

Exactly. The OP not wanting her husband in the bathroom when she is in there is a good enough reason for him to not be in there.

The childish brat can wait for her to leave the bathroom. He sounds like a bloody 3 year old tantrumming and stropping. Hugely unnattractive behaviour, My fanny would dry up and snap shut at this behaviour!

You've got two (edit - three!) loos, absolutely zero reason why he cant let you have 5-20minutes (or more if required) in the bathroom on your own in peace.
Id poo upstairs as well. Hes being controlling and ridiculous.

Take absolutely no notice - he's just being a bully.

My only concern would be if someone very elderly and/or with a health condition locks the bathroom door and nobody can open the door if there is a medical emergency. Perhaps, in such a case, a key could be left somewhere else for use in emergencies. But that isn't the issue here - it's just bloody mindedness.

I never lock the door…because I don’t have to. We close the door when we’re in there. If you need to go in for whatever reason while the door is shut just ask. Sometimes it’s a yes, sometimes it’s a no but we (myself, 2 adult sons and husband) have respect for each others privacy.

Surely NO ONE is ok with their partner coming into the bath while they’re having a piss/shit!? Would you not be worried about your partner getting the ick and not fancying you anymore?!

@Kimura

why were you a “bit sus’ about it?

I'm the same, like the door locked, and dp is like your dh. It just makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. I know he likes to watch me in the shower and makes comments but it's not sexy for me when I'm busy trying get ready to go to catch my train. Comments like do you need a hand type thing.

It's a bit odd and creepy and pervy for someone to want to be in the bathroom when you're having a piss or a shit. Or even when you're in the shower. OP's husband needs to grow the fuck up, stop being controlling and weird, and wait til she's finished.

That’s why most bathroom locks can be opened from the outside too nowadays.

Oh not in a serious way, just used to make me chuckle hearing the lock slide when he'd left me on the couch to nip to the loo in the middle of a movie with nobody else home 😅

We used to have 1 bathroom for 2 adults and 3 children and if anyone was having a bath or shower we would simply ask if anyone needed to use the loo or get anything from the bathroom before we had bath or shower. It is completely reasonable to lock the door and have some privacy

Can’t he just use one of your other bathrooms?

Also lovely, but there’s plenty of people giving their own thoughts and opinions. Scroll on if you don’t like it. Don’t forget to lock the door 🤣

The issue under discussion is one of respect. It could be any situation, OP just happened to use the bathroom. In any relationship the wishes of each person should be listened to, discussed and respected. OP's husband is dismissing her own (very reasonable) wishes.

You and your partner being happy to have an open door policy doesn't give OP any advice or support, but yes of course, it's an open forum and you can write whatever you like. I was just saying that in this situation what you and your partner do isn't relevant to what OP is asking about.