To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

The idea of living with someone who thinks I don't deserve the right to privacy while using the bathroom is horrifying. YANBU at all, this is extremely controlling and inappropriate.

Of course yanbu! Does he lock the door when he goes to the loo or has a shower?
why would it constantly be imperative in that short window you’re in the bathroom that he MUST get in? That would start the ick for me!

I would definitely lock the door if he thought you weren't entitled to peace and privacy.

We don't lock the door but also don't need a locked door to give one another privacy.

What's that fork got to do with the OP's question?
in my house if someone needs to brush their teeth and someone else needs to use the bathroom we remove our toothbrush and use the kitchen sink. It's not that complicated to manage.

I think it’s unreasonable to ‘have’ to lock the bathroom door but absolutely not if he’s just strolling in and out when he likes! No one in my house would do this, once my kids were 6 or so they also have privacy when they close a door - knock first, always.

If I or DH take a shower when we are both getting up & getting ready then we don’t lock in case one wants something from the bathroom etc

Lock the door if that's what you want, I would - with a bloke like that in the house! He can pee discreetly in the back garden to help the compost heap 😊and brush teeth in the kitchen sink (emergencies only). I would be outraged if someone wanted to invade my personal space like that, especially an intimate space like a bathroom. He sounds vile to me and wants to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable. Ugh.

Nobody agrees with your husband. Triple lock it.

Well YANBU to want privacy at all but it sort of depends when you're doing it. I'm probably projecting because mornings are a crazy rush in my house, but with only one bathroom, if you're squirrelling yourself away to shower when everyone else is doing that final rush out of the house and needs to do their teeth, then you would BU! Even as PP said if he does it at the kitchen sink, he still needs to get in to grab his toothbrush.

But as long as you're not doing it at silly times, if you just say "I'm going for a shower in 2 minutes, go and grab anything you need" would that solve the issue?

But if either of you didn’t like this you’d have found a solution. We had 4 people leaving in the morning together and one bathroom and we never went in and out of it - toothbrushes in the kitchen, getting dressed first, whatever. Never occurred to us that wandering around using a toilet while someone is showering would be the answer. No issue of course if it’s no issue to you, but it is an issue for the OP so they need to work around it.

in my house if someone needs to brush their teeth and someone else needs to use the bathroom we remove our toothbrush and use the kitchen sink. It's not that complicated to manage.

So you go & get the toothpaste & brush, bring it downstairs & do your teeth there. Why not just do it whilst someone is showering?

Lock the door if that's what you want, I would - with a bloke like that in the house! He can pee discreetly in the back garden to help the compost heap 😊and brush teeth in the kitchen sink (emergencies only). I would be outraged if someone wanted to invade my personal space like that, especially an intimate space like a bathroom. He sounds vile to me and wants to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable. Ugh.

I can no longer tell what posts are real or not. piss in the garden so he doesn’t embarrass the OP. 😵‍💫

Or say, do you need the bathroom, I’m about to go for a shower. It’s not hard.

OP YANBU.

I think you are conflating 2 separate issues. You shouldn't need to lock the door because he should respect your privacy while you are in there.

We never lock bathroom doors, except when we have guests. We don't need to - we trust our family members not to come barging in.

Firstly, we don't have a downstairs, not everyone lives in a big house 😂 secondly because we have a teenager who wants privacy and wouldn't want to enter the bathroom while someone was in the shower either.
Also, can I point out OP is also asking about expecting privacy whilst using the toilet. Do you also think she should let him come in whilst she's having a poo or changing her sanitary products?

Plenty of ways you could have managed that and maintained privacy, if you'd wanted to.

You could have just taken turns waking up 10 to 15 minutes earlier to use the bathroom and get ready. There's no need to be in and out of the bathroom either, just get ready and be done with it.

YANBU, however, if you only have one bathroom / toilet then I would ask him if he needed to get anything from there, or to use the toilet, before going in and using it for an extended period.

That’s not good at all, you should have as much privacy as you want. But on a practical level keep spare toothbrushes at the kitchen sink, no excuses then and if he still insists you don’t need to lock the door get worried.

How long do you take in the bathroom that this is a major issue?! 5 minutes to use the loo, 5 minutes to shower and 5 minutes to brush teeth etc. it's hardly a great hardship. I'd happily get up 15 minutes earlier to have privacy. I do, in fact.

YANBU, op. I like my privacy too. I would hate if my DH expected us to have the kind of relationship where one of us is taking a shite, whilst the other showers.