To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

What's all this spitting in the kitchen sink? Not in my house.

You make cleaning your teeth sound like a gross act! Kitchen sink or bathroom basin; no difference.

There’s a difference between showering and using the toilet. Maybe it’s ok for him to come in when you’re showering but if you’re on the loo you’d like privacy. I don’t want a partner watching me poo.

The issue is he doesn’t give you privacy if you don’t lock it. He obviously objects to your having any privacy at all. He’s a prick.

Thank the Lord that we have a separate toilet with a sink and a bathroom

some of you on here make me wonder how any of you would cope in a house with one bathroom and 4 people getting ready in the morning. one of whom had a chronic health condition that meant if they needed the bathroom, they got priority.

Quite simply we used to announce we were using the bathroom to bath/shower/get ready, and if anyone needed the toilet to go NOW.

Mornings were on a strict rota with a check with the sick person if they needed to go.

We did have another loo, but it was in the utility in the garage, unheated and inhabited by spiders, so was for EMERGENCIES only for everyone, lol.

There is no need for anyone to need to be in the bathroom with you while you're in there, and the demand to do so is weird, creepy, and gives me the ick.

You're not being unreasonable at all.

In my main bathroom I have a shower cubicle with an opaque glass door. But I live alone anyway so it's not an issue. Bathroom door doesn't even have a lock on it.

this.

The idea that his lordship wants to be in the bathroom while you're on the loo or taking a shower, just to brush his teeth, makes my flesh crawl.

It's creepy, intrusive and controlling.

If he is genuinely in need of the loo and can't hold on for 15 minutes, all he has to do is knock and call out ''sorry, babe, I need a wee and really can't hold on any longer''. That would be quite reasonable. His behaviour is ''not normal''.

Tell him, ''OK, you can come in while I'm in here, just to brush your teeth, but you'll have to put up with my sanitary pads and the period blood all over them that I've laid on the loo seat ready''.

Also, tell him that if he really does need the loo, then he should buy himself a commode and keep it in the shed or whatever and take his teeth cleaning stuff in there too!

Please, keep the door locked. You have every right to privacy in bathrooms, the same as everyone else.

This

There are these things called taps that you turn to release water, handy for rinsing nasties down a sink... 🤷‍♀️

Ofcourse you are being reasonable! Door is there for a reason.

At home I’d close but never lock, I’ve known two people collapse and had to have the door broken to get them out

Goddess give me strength.

Unless anyone in your house has TB, then a quick rinse down with hot water, or, at a push a spray/wipe over with some antibac is fine.

Completely agree with you, OP, privacy in the bathroom is non-negotiable here. I really don't understand the concept of allowing another person into the bathroom whilst you are engaged in intimate grooming, showering or going to the loo. Really unpleasant!

I brush my teeth with antibacterial toothpaste, so my spit afterwards is probably cleaner than the tap water.

I find it really odd when people assume that wanting ten minutes of privacy in the bathroom must mean you’re ashamed of your body or some kind of prude.

My partner and I sleep naked next to each other every night and after 23 years together we’re very much still shagging each other at every opportunity. There is zero inhibition. The man’s been up close and personal with every millimetre of my body countless times. He is fully aware that I shave body hair and use tampons; there is no concern about that.

That doesn’t mean neither of us is allowed to have a shit and a shower in peace when we want to. Sometimes I’m totally happy for him to have a wee while I’m brushing my teeth or whatever. Sometimes he’ll bring me a drink and we’ll have a good old chat while I’m in the bath, or vice versa. But the point is that we choose when that happens and the default assumption is one of respecting the other person’s choice about privacy.

This thread gets weirder and weirder. What the hell is wrong with spitting in the kitchen sink?? Loads of grim stuff goes down my kitchen plughole: mud, cat food, sour milk... Why would a bit of spit be a problem?

I share my bathroom with two kids (one of whom is a teenager) and we have managed to organise our mornings to each get as much time in the bathroom.

Everyone is entitled to have a shower or go to the loo in peace.

So you respect each others privacy without a barrier being needed. That sounds like the ideal.

I understand @Skater78 desire to lock the door. The fact her DH does not want her to is unreasonable.

It's really normal to lock the bathroom door. Our bathroom door doesn't lock anymore, my husband had to kick the lock off when DD was in the bathroom and the lock slipped out of place meaning she couldn't get out. It's an absolute pain having to shout I'm going in the bathroom every time.
He's been promising to fix it for about 4 months. Maybe the WiFi needs to be "broken" on the weekend until he fixes it.
So no YANBU at all. Why does he need to brush his teeth at the exact moment you're having a shower. Tell him to organise his time better.

my bathroom door locks can be opened from the outside with a screwdriver, even with a kitchen knife in an emergency. The house is over 30 years old so its not a new thing. One of the bathroom doors opens inwards which I am not delighted about but there is no option because its right at the top of the stairs so dangerous for it to open outward.

Unless there is a reason why he must get ready at the exact same time, I would suggest that DH gets up earlier or removes his stuff to use elsewhere. What does he need other than a toothbrush? Does he really want to brush his teeth while you’re peeing or pooing?

I could understand more if he said something like you take too long but he said “it’s not normal” to lock the door?? I think it’s completely normal to want privacy for bodily functions or to wash your bits! I would feel very on edge going to the loo if I thought someone might burst in because they want to “come and go as they please”

this, all of it.

When we lived in a one bathroom house people announced that they were going for a shower in case you wanted to grab something from the bathroom.

I would keep locking the door op if you want to. I bet he is the kind to force himself to poo while you are in the shower.