To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

I don't use a razor (very old fashioned). And I've never hidden my boobs from my husband, especially as I breastfed for over 2 years. I still like to lock the bathroom door, particularly as I have adult kids. ( & 2 bathrooms)

I live alone but DP is here a lot. There's no lock on my bathroom or downstairs loo doors.

But DP would never come in when I'm in the shower, and vice versa - on the odd occasion I might knock and say "can I just pop this towel back in there" or whatever, but I'm perfectly happy if he says I need to wait.
There's no way he, or I, would feel the need for constant access and to wander on and out.

I don't think you should lock the door though, for safety reasons. But he should back the fuck off and leave you alone.

I remember once as a teenager, arriving home one night, desperate for a pee (no loos on the train). The despair when I approached our house and looked up to see the bathroom light on... "Oh, your mum's just got in the bath," said Dad. 😱 😭 Well, needs must, so I nipped onto the lawn, shielded by my parents' caravan on the drive on one side, and the fence on the other, and did the necessary, washing my hands at the kitchen sink afterwards. Oh, to be that agile again!

It's not his place to make such a choice for anyone. You're 100% right and he's 100% wrong.

Anyone saying “Oh we don’t lock the door! We all take a shit in front of each other in this house, haha! He’s seen me give birth!” is missing the point.

If people don’t mind their partner coming in and out while they’re in the bathroom that is absolutely fine. Whatever you’re happy with. It doesn’t mean, however, that people who do want privacy don’t have a right to it.

Refusing to allow someone a reasonable degree privacy, especially when it relates to their body or bodily functions, is really unpleasant behaviour. Everyone is entitled to the basic dignity of privacy in the bathroom if they want it. And the OP does want it and that should absolutely be respected as her choice. No debate.

What's it got to do with sex or boobs? Why do you keep mentioning both?

Maybe she walks around starkers at all times, doing a full boob shimmy as she passes her DH on the stairs, and has sex every half hour on the stroke of a big clock shaped like a willy - it still doesn't mean she can't have 10 mins' privacy in the bathroom if she wants it!

You could leave your toothbrush and paste by the kitchen sink.

I don’t lock the door ( for a loo visit or a shower ) but DH wouldn’t dream of coming in ,and there’s no way I’d go in to the bathroom if he’d closed the door 🤢😱

I've recently had a conversation with my 5 year old about privacy in the bathroom and the importance of knocking if someone is in there with the door closed, rather than just walking in. He understood right away. Unless your husband has the cognitive skills of a preschooler then he, too, should understand that you have a right to privacy.

Is he a toddler? The only time my DH has seen me in the shower is when he's been in the shower too 😉 or when he's come to retrieve a child who's come in.

I'm happy to do many many things with my DH but I'm not interested in sharing bathroom time.

Because it's not your place to make that decision for anyone else and it is not his place to make that decision for his wife.

He is 100% wrong and she is 100% right.

He can just stop making such an enormous fuss and carrying on like an absolute fruitcake and when he finds the bathroom door locked leave her in peace for ten minutes. Like a normal person.

i barely shut the door let alone lock it and my family would think I'm seriously ill if I did!

no one locks it here but my ds is always a closed door

Don't lock the door as don't need to - we don't walk in on each other in the bathroom. Different strokes for different folks - others may be happy to wander in and out, but at ours when you're in the bathroom you have privacy. Doesn't have any impact on sex life or being naked in front of each other.

We have a "no locking the bathroom door" policy in our house, after I fainted in there last year and knocked myself unconscious and DP was unable to get in.

However even though we both know the door is unlocked at all times, neither one of us would dream of wandering in when the other is using it. If the door is shut, that person wants privacy!

That being said, if I lived with your husband I'd lock it immediately.

I love your way with words. 😅😅😅

Lock him out. He's a cunt.

YANBU, I'd be annoyed if my DH couldn't organise himself enough to keep out of the bathroom for the 10 minutes I'm taking a shower. I'd have though most people tend to have a routine of showering at similar times most days, so it's easy enough to work around. I get that once in a blue moon, someone may get an upset stomach and need the toilet asap. Even in that situation, I would prefer a knock so I can quickly throw on my dressing gown and get out of the bathroom to give them some privacy.

My DH takes a long bath every night and always locks the bathroom door. Amuses me because I have zero interest in going in there whilst he's taking a bath, have never tried to and it's only us in the house.

YANBU. You have a right to whatever level of privacy you prefer.

Personally though my DH and I never lock the door and only close it for going to the toilet. We shower with the it wide open and the other is welcome to wander in and out.

I don't lock the door in case anyone needs the toilet as we have 1 bathroom between 6 of us, but everyone else in the house does

My adult child has T1 diabetes,so in case he faints, we have locks on doors that can be easily opened from the outside in case of emergency. They are fairly standard on loo or bathroom doors.

It is irrelevant because the OP isn’t living in a similar situation to yours and because she has a different level of need for privacy. Your feelings on what level of privacy YOU want or need in the bathroom aren’t relevant here, because you are not the OP.

All adults have a right to some privacy to shower, go to the loo etc if they want it. The OP does want it. The fact that you don’t is neither nor there.

If someone said ‘My DH thinks we shouldn’t eat lunch because today but I’m feeling really peckish; AIBU to think it’s up to me what and when I eat because I know when I’m hungry?’ it wouldn’t be relevant to reply ‘Well, I never eat lunch, I don’t have time and I eat a huge breakfast every morning, so YABU’. What you’re saying is the equivalent of that.

Moreover, the fact that someone’s partner sees them naked, has sex with them, watched them give birth etc doesn’t mean that they necessarily have to forfeit their right to have privacy when they want it. It’s perfectly OK to want privacy at some times but not others, just like it’s perfectly OK to want to be touched at some times but not others.

Tell him to get stuffed. He is very controlling. We have only one small bathroom, everyone gets a shoutout that the shower will be in use in 5 minutes, meaning it is off limits for at least 20 minutes, if you need the bathroom go now. Door locked.

Your DH is weird. It's not normal to be regular coming in and out of the bathroom when someone else is in their. When me and DH shared a 1 bed flat with 1 bathroom we never had this issue. We have 3 bathrooms now which is good but you have a right to privacy and your DH is an arse.

I only lock the bathroom door if my daughter's boyfriend is staying over - because neither of us need that situation to arise! 😅

Sometimes, we'll continue a conversation if the other has gone in for a wee and leave the door open to chat. But neither my partner or I would ever walk into the bathroom whilst the other is in there if the door is closed so there's no need to lock it.

Same as we both know each other's pass codes for our phones and both leave them lying around but wouldn't ever just go into each other's phone without the other's knowledge or permission.

It's not about boobs or razors or sex, it's just about privacy and basic respect for the fact we are separate individuals who aren’t permanently on view for or available to the other.

I don't lock the door but it's accepted that when a door is shut you leave pee be.

I also think it's a bit off to join someone whilst they are on the toilet or showering.