To not bail DD out with car damage

[brokenbiscuitsadness]

DD 18 is at college. She has a car and an earns a good wage from her part time bar job.
I try to have ongoing conversations with her about saving money but it goes in one ear out the other. She literally spends every penny she earns without any thought to the future/car maintenance/emergencies.

when it was really icy a few weeks ago her car skidded in the college car park, causing £600 worth of damage to another car.
Naturally she has now come to me begging for me to loan her the money as she doesn't have it and so she doesn’t have to go through her insurance. I suspect she will have also asked ExH to also help - he will probably give in.

if she was more sensible with money I would be willing to lend it to her but I am now so exasperated I want to say no. That way she will have to figure a plan out herself and hopefully start to consider see why it’s so important to put money aside

AIBU?

Irrelevant as she won't have to pay an excess

I would lend her the money otherwise her dad will pay. I'm getting the impression he wouldn't make her pay it back which isn't on really.

Your loan should be made on the proviso that, once it's repaid, she keeps giving you eg £200 a month (or whatever) to save for her. Otherwise, no deal. And no further loans or anything in future - the bank of mum is closed.

And yet you're the one who seems to completely lack any empathy for this young person who has had an unavoidable accident and now needs a bit of help. You're almost gleeful in your "that'll teach her, she has to learn!"-there are nice ways of going about things. Why punish her. But yeah hopefully you take your own advice and never ask for any help in life. I'm sure that's really the case. Seriously we hold teens more responsible than 40 year olds on here it blows my mind.

Check OP's posts ?

Where are you getting any of that from !

Another one who knows nothing about insurance.

Next time I see a long thread about car insurance I’m going to play a drinking game. A shot every time someone demonstrates their ignorance of excess.

Please don't, alcohol poisoning is dreadful. 🥰

Sounds a bit excess-ive. 🤣

Lend her the cash with rules to pay back ASAP.

At 18, saving is probably the last thing on her mind, however as she has a car, she has responsibility so must save. It's as simple as that.