To not bail DD out with car damage

[brokenbiscuitsadness]

DD 18 is at college. She has a car and an earns a good wage from her part time bar job.
I try to have ongoing conversations with her about saving money but it goes in one ear out the other. She literally spends every penny she earns without any thought to the future/car maintenance/emergencies.

when it was really icy a few weeks ago her car skidded in the college car park, causing £600 worth of damage to another car.
Naturally she has now come to me begging for me to loan her the money as she doesn't have it and so she doesn’t have to go through her insurance. I suspect she will have also asked ExH to also help - he will probably give in.

if she was more sensible with money I would be willing to lend it to her but I am now so exasperated I want to say no. That way she will have to figure a plan out herself and hopefully start to consider see why it’s so important to put money aside

AIBU?

Good, he has her best interests at heart on this issue.

Lumping her with years of v high insurance premiums for what was a unavoidable incident is cruel, imho.

I don't think the private land thing washes... damage is damage, what she doesn't want is the guy claiming against her via insurance.

Oh, I think that’s a shame.I think a better idea would be to sit with her, read through her policy together and highlight where it tells her she must report all accidents. Then explain the possible consequences of not doing so.

Check her policy. You say this happened a few weeks ago. Your policy will say the time frame within which you are supposed to inform them after an accident.

That’s a good idea. She certainly won’t hear it from me but I can send the information to her

What an arsehole her father is but she's 18 and old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. She damaged someone's car and she needs to pay for the repair (and she absolutely should be doing this through her insurance).

She’s 18, at college and works.
What a great kid.
Some people need to learn lessons first hand. I think you’re being a bit mean here.

She’s working and going to college. Hardly ‘ spoiled brat’ territory.
What a deeply unkind post

I had a young girl drive into my car (slightly different - no ice, but I suspect she was on her phone). I was happy enough to get a private quote and she pay me or the garage directly. The cost was just over £500.

Thought it was all sorted, until her Dad rang me and started to haggle on the cost. I immediately shut him down (the cheeky sod) and told him that he was now responsible for me going straight to my insurance company and dealing with it all correctly. She then phoned me and said ‘sorry’ and she was ok with the £500 and she would pay me £100 a month!!!

If I was the owner of the other car, I would just go through the insurance.

Sorry but your DH is beyond cheeky.

Better late than never.

I’m sure if she explained she’s new to having her own car and didn’t realise she should tell them because she thought it would be easier to just pay the other car owner, they would be lenient. Even if they told her she’d have to pay the claim she would still have done the right thing.

I do realise that ‘doing the right thing’ is a pathetic, wishy washy, middle class, woke, etc. etc. concept.

I mean, you’re right, but it’s as well to be forewarned that it might be a much more awkward conversation than she might realize.

This every time.

The car she hit? Did it happen to be another young persons car? That person if young will also likely have a high excess and probably why they don’t want to go through the insurance: if they also never took out legal cover, recovering the excess can be a faff.

she needs to report it to her insurers either way.

Because she is a new inexperienced driver who skidded on ice rather than reckless I would pay and agree a strict repayment scheme. She can’t be earning much.

Owning up to making a mistake later rather than straight away is always more awkward but a life lesson that needs learning.

Just a shame her father is being such a dipstick (no pun intended, oh, OK, maybe I did)

Really? What law is that then? Act, paragraph, please.

And I don’t mean a civil contractual obligation between a driver and their insurers.

Insurance companies are all money-grabbing bastards; there is no need to enrich them unnecessarily.

This more than most - it’s probably breaking the terms of the policy, which could have serious ramifications.

I’m not arguing that telling them is the wrong thing - I am trying to tell the OP that she and her daughter should read the contract and find out the position. Actually reading it doesn’t seem to have occurred to either of them.

I wonder if the other driver has insurance given they are so keen to break the law by not going through insurance

Also how is her confidence it can be knocked after an accident, no matter how mild.

My 18 year old daughter spends every penny she earns and is having the best time of her life and I am so so happy that she is!! These are their best years and I want her to enjoy every minute that she can. I’d happily bail her out and just get her to pay me back each month. Getting her to claim on insurance will just mean she can’t save next year as her insurance will have rocketed so a bit mean if you ask me!!

I’m a dinosaur and ‘in my day’ the only theory questions were a couple of random ones after the practical test. Does the current Theory Test cover any aspect of Insurance ? If not, perhaps it should….??

I can, sort of, understand a level of ignorance but it's no defence.

If she gets ‘found out’ she may not be able to renew her insurance.

I didnt call her a spoilt brat, i just said to op not to allow it

I’d lend it. It isn’t as if she’s spent the money knowing she would need it. It’s a £600 expense she wasn’t expecting.

That's the point of having savings - to meet expenses you're not expecting. What if her car failed its MOT and needed money spent?

And push a load of cost onto her poor mum for the premiums that will double. Not telling the insurer benefits the parents only

You sign a legally binding contract with your insurer. One of the questions asks you to declare any claims whether insured or not. Fail to comply & your policy can be voided.

there is a law that if you don’t follow reporting timelines they don’t have to pay a claim. Luckily this is £600 & not a high performance sports car she hit & wrote off