To not bail DD out with car damage

[brokenbiscuitsadness]

DD 18 is at college. She has a car and an earns a good wage from her part time bar job.
I try to have ongoing conversations with her about saving money but it goes in one ear out the other. She literally spends every penny she earns without any thought to the future/car maintenance/emergencies.

when it was really icy a few weeks ago her car skidded in the college car park, causing £600 worth of damage to another car.
Naturally she has now come to me begging for me to loan her the money as she doesn't have it and so she doesn’t have to go through her insurance. I suspect she will have also asked ExH to also help - he will probably give in.

if she was more sensible with money I would be willing to lend it to her but I am now so exasperated I want to say no. That way she will have to figure a plan out herself and hopefully start to consider see why it’s so important to put money aside

AIBU?

I think it can still affect your premium even if the other party pays out. They always ask if you've been involved in a claim or accident in last year when you renew.

Then she'll have to budget for paying higher premiums won't she!

Google's response....

Yes, even if the other party pays out or admits full fault, the accident can still affect your insurance premium and record. While a non-fault claim generally has a smaller impact than an at-fault claim, insurance companies often increase premiums because statistics show that drivers who have been involved in an accident—regardless of who was at fault—are more likely to make another claim in the future.

Here is how a non-fault, third-party payout can still affect you:

• Premium Increases: Even with a "non-fault" claim, your insurance provider may adjust your premium slightly due to a perceived increase in risk.

• Recording of Incidents: You are required to disclose all incidents to your insurer, regardless of who was at fault or whether a claim was filed, for typically the last three to five years.

• No Claims Bonus (NCB) Impact: If your insurer cannot fully recover their costs (e.g., if there is a dispute or the other party is uninsured), your NCB could be affected.

• "Non-Fault" vs. "No-Claim" Difference: A non-fault claim means you were not to blame, but it still represents a "claim" on your record, which impacts risk assessment.

You still have to tell the insurance about the accident and they will hike the premium anyway. If she's 18 then she can possibly have more than a years ncd to lose

Last 3 or 5 years actually

Err no
At 18 I was working, had my own place and paid he bills. None of my kids were so wasteful and careless with money either. So not ALL 18 year olds are.like that

If she doesn't go through the insurance company, and then declares at renewal,that she's not had any accidents,at the very least,her new insurance policy would be null and void,if they were to discover she HAD been involved in an accident (especially if it was her fault,which it sounds like it was,as she hit the other car,regardless of weather conditions).
I know £600 is a lot of money,and her premium will undoubtedly go up by more than this amount this year, but IMHO, it'd be better to take the hit now,rather than not declare it and find that if your DD is involved in another accident,her insurance won't cover her.
Whether you lend the money to her, to cover the excess/damage (depending on her cover) or have her come to an agreement with the insurance company,is a different matter though. Maybe she can arrange to pay in instalments; that might be a lesson in money management.
Coming from an ex-insurance worker.
PS. As a bit of general advice, ALWAYS protect your NCD!

The one that gets me is that I'm technically supposed to notify my insurer of any bumps I have at work when I'm driving trucks. Literally nobody does and they've usually no practical way of finding out.

I used to spend ten hours a day on the roads in a huge unwieldy vehicle with large blind spots, driving around the city centre with Deliveroo and Uber drivers trying their best to cut me up - that two-car-sized gap I'd leave as stopping distance looks incredibly inviting to BMW drivers who want to try and weave their way through the traffic.

And irrespective of the vehicle dynamics, spending 50-60 hours a week on the road massively increases your exposure to risk, even in a car. It's a joke that they try and raise the premiums for things that happen in vehicles that aren't insured by them and in situations where the increased incidence isn't caused by driver fault so much as unavoidable exposure.

It's like increasing your home insurance because your workplace is in a dodgy area and keeps getting broken into.

Isn't her own car also damaged as a result of the accident? If she has to go through insurance, she can claim the cost of repairing that as well.

The question you have answered was given to a poster had talked about going through insurance and still giving the DD money, so no, nothing to do with avoidance of premiums.

No 18 year old will be able to protect ncd as you need 4 years worth before that's an option

Freeman on the Land ?

She is 18, I would definitely LEND my child this but expect it paid back following a plan…and use this as an opportunity to show they can save a bit every month.

Absolutely. Kids will never learn if they are not taught they need to take responsibility for their actions. Had she been more responsible with her money then I would say yes, loan it to her. But if she gets it now it continues the never ending cycle of having to bail her out!

I had to look that up.
No! That nonsense is for idiots. Complete rubbish.
I’m just a sensible businessman (I’ve been running businesses and working for myself since I was 15) who dislikes being ripped off, or seeing others being ripped off, or otherwise taken advantage of.
Insurers are quite good at doing that.

So difficult!
My reaction would be to tell her no and to sort it out herself. Maybe a bit of a hand with phone calls / form filling etc.
It's easier said than done though. I've bailed my adult son out so many times!

Can't believe people are saying go through insurance. She's 18; insurance will already be into the thousands, and her excess will be easy 300-500.

Go through insurance, save £100 quid and have increased premiums for the next 5 years - no thanks.

Lend her the money, with strict repayment terms.

Her excess is £400 but that’s irrelevant as the claim is by the other car owner, not for damage to her car. It has been mentioned by myself, and others, that there can be other repercussions of not informing the insurance company which can be far more costly that an increase in premiums.

If I had it, I'd just give it to her, is she 18 at sixth form college as if so surely it's just a part time job for pocket money. My Mum would have given this to me at 18 and way beyond, without paying her back. I've turned out fine and have a house, money, job and I do the same for my children.

This was in the late 90s

I can't see how an 18 year old who works part time earns "a good wage". Clearly she is only earning enough money to cover her travel, car costs, books, clothing, beauty products, food and social life. Pend her the money for goodness sake, but make her know that if it happens again, she uses her insurance.

Thing is we had a similar not so serious situation in the summer where she didn’t have the money to fund commitments. It caused some embarrassment for me and I had a long discussion with her at the time about saying no and saving/budgeting.

Taking away the insurance angle I am frustrated that she hasn’t taken on board what we talked about and that yet again she has no money saved.
also to clarify she does earn good for the work she does albeit part time - certainly enough to put a bit aside. Not as if she has bills to pay!

18yrs is still very young. It really is. Brains don't fully develop till 25!!
Also she only works part time so realistically couldn't save much and go out. And that is the age she should have fun.
Pay it for her. Let her pay it back gradually. That is a good lesson without being punitive.

Also she only works part time so realistically couldn't save much and go out.

And yet she has booked a holiday. How will she pay for that if she doesn't earn enough to save?

For £600 worth of damage? I suspect her excess is at least £600 at 18!