Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

[Colourconundrum]

Hi Mums - my in laws came over to babysit DS (1) at the weekend while me and DH went out for dinner to celebrate a friends bday. DS’s bedtime was before we’d even left the house but ILs came over early as they wanted to do his tea & bath. We were back by 1030.

DH paid for them to have a takeaway at our house, left out a £30 bottle of wine & has also just sent a bouquet of flowers as a thank you.

AIBU to think this is a bit OTT? I’m obviously super grateful that they looked after DS but what we’ve spent on ILs has exceeded how much our meal out was!! And a babysitter would have been way cheaper too. I’m also worried it sets an expensive precedent now and money is pretty tight for us.

Just to add my parents were also happy to babysit and I know they wouldn’t have accepted us paying for anything but MIL has been dying to look after DS so I don’t think it wasn’t a massive chore or inconvenience for her that we need to ‘compensate’ for.

I think the flowers were OTT

I would have thought that grandparents shouldn't need more than a thank you! One of the above items would have been a nice gesture (though I think a £15 bottle would have been fine unless they are particularly fussy!) but all three seems a bit bonkers. Maybe if they were having your child for a week, but not for one evening!! How is your DH's relationship with his parents normally??

I think that's OTT. One of the three would have been more than enough and anyway I expect they'd prefer to be seen as an active family member helping out with their grandchild rather than a friend doing a favour.

But your in laws didn't demand any of that your dh wanted to treat them. So you should be comparing you to dh not your parents to your in laws

That’s ridiculous of your husband, to be honest.

The takeaway meal would have been fine. Fine wine and flowers too, wut?

He overspent big time. Ask him why.

i think one of those 3 things would have sufficed

most grandparents would love an evening bathing and looking after their grandchildren

please do not feel like you have to offer takeaway and £30’wine each time you ask or it becomes ridiculous

A baby sitter would cost that in London
Bit yes ----It's OTT.

Next time you sort it out.
A charlie Bingham meal and a nice dessert is fine.
I wouldnt give them wine to drink while baby sitting though but thats just me...

Also a nice big xmas gift.

A babysitter would have been cheaper

That’s crazily OTT. Why did he do that, have you asked him?

I’m a grandmother to 8. Imagine how much babysitting I’ve done for last 15 years. Never been offered nor would accept anything. It’s been a priveledge and I thoroughly enjoy watching my 3 kids have a well earned break and spend time with my favourite people

Yup OTT

I'm free next time you need a baby sitter OP 😁

My parents bring their own food if they come up! I leave wine out and they know they can help themselves to anything, but my parents usually bring up a lot of stuff! They live a long way away so have to stay over. PIL have only ever done one evening babysit (they’ve done lots during the day) and it was an overnight at theirs. We didn’t give them anything, I didn’t even think about it.

If my sibling babysits I usually transfer some money for a takeaway as it’s an expensive journey for them to come and see us.

Maybe you see it as OTT but they are his parents and only your IL's, if he wants to show his appreciation towards them in the way of his choosing it's fine to do so.

That’s excessive. If my MIL babysits we offer to get her a COOK ready meal usually, but I wouldn’t buy wine or flowers.

I would not expect Grandparents to drink while babysitting. Did they take the wine home ?

You make it sound as if your pils asked for these. Which they didn’t.

Is your DH trying to compete with his siblings ?

I babysit for my DS and DIL. I don’t expect anything at all. I do it because I can, and it means they can go out. My DIL is lovely and spoils me sometimes just to show she cares.

They get on really well! But I do notice that there is an expectation for DH to always pay the bill if we go out despite the fact they are far wealthier than us.

Gosh.. I'm a Grandparent and when l baby sat .. when they were that age l was so happy l actually gave my daughter money to have a good night out. I wouldn't accept anything at all or except it. Now they are older if l go.. l buy the Grandkids a take away.. it's ridiculous what they got.

Sorry accidentally clicked YANU - meant YANBU - this is sooo OTT

they looked after their grandchild - no gifts/£30 wine etc needed

I would have had some nibbly bits in the fridge and maybe a £10 bottle of wine, but should they really be drinking when babysitting, the rest is OTT

Possibly - SIL bought all the baby equipment & toys for ILs house when she had her little one although they do provide 4 days of childcare to her a week.

The takeaway is a nice gesture, the wine could’ve been a third of the price.,,, the flowers are OTT. And now you’re potentially setting a precedent. It’s sweet of your husband to show his gratitude but yes, he’s gone way too far!