Moral dilemma - should 6 year old DS be made to confess?

[Ricecrispiesatsix]

6 year old DS had a friend round yesterday to play Lego Star Wars. The friend brought a couple of figurines with him including the Emperor Palpatine and the boys played for hours together so nicely. It was really lovely to see DS (who has quite niche, geeky interests) find a school friend he connects with.

When it came to leave, the friend couldn’t find the Emperor Palpatine, we looked everywhere, DS offered to let him borrow his millennium falcon instead which was suspiciously generous of him….

Well you can probably guess what happened later. We found Emperor P hidden in DS’s “secret drawer”. He basically stole from his friend and lied to us about it. He was distraught and ashamed when we found out because he knows he made a bad choice.

He will of course be made to return Emperor P to the friend but should we make him own up to stealing it, or is it ok for him to simply say “I found it”? DS is worried his friend won’t want to play with him anymore. And that would be a shame. DS is generally a lovely gentle boy and he is remorseful, the temptation was just too much! I do want to teach him honesty though and worry if we don’t encourage him to confess we are saying that lying by omission is ok.

YABU - make him confess
YANBU - it’s ok for him to give it back and just say “I found it”

He is only 6, he made a mistake and learned a lesson. He is probably a lovely little boy.

This is exactly the type of ineffectual parenting schools are up against! Kids never come across a hard boundary and consequences at home, and when they do in school, they develop 'anxiety'. Shitty parenting is now a national emergency - god knows what society will be like when this generation are in charge!7

Well, given that this is a parenting website......

The earlier he learns there are consequences to his actions the better. He’s young enough to get over it. If you cover things up for him he will expect it always. I’m only speaking from my own dealings and failures.

Ahhh, so everyone who posts here is a mother ... got it. 🙄

I did this with my friend’s orange floral Sindy skirt.
51 now and I still remember it like yesterday!
I think returning it is enough, with a strict telling off and reminder that you won’t cover for him again. I doubt it will happen again though..

He’s learnt his lesson. Don’t humiliate him anymore. He’s only 6!

So he steals from friend and then gets bought a new toy and told how well behaved he is...

Most are parents, yes. Why else would anyoneb join a parenting forum?

I would tell him there is a punishment for lying but just say you found it when tidying up.

For various reasons.
I think the main one is they like to hear other people's opinions and problems, compare lives, and give help, opinions and advice (qualified or not) to people who ask for them.

You tell him he was good because he remedied it. That was the good thing he did.

He didn't though. He got caught out and his parents remedied it.

You tell him we all make mistakes, doing one thing wrong doesn't wipe out all the good things you do - and maybe go on to detail some of the good things he does, probably with a focus on the ones he obviously enjoys doing.