Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

[seasonofthebitch]

Just wanted to update the previous thread…

I’m about to get on the train home after lovely weekend with my sister. I’m more certain now of my boundaries and what I will and won’t accept. I expect this will lead to the end of the marriage.

DP called me this morning and said he was “so tired, with another full on day”. He’s taken DSD AGAIN to his gym for 3 hours and will be going to take her again tonight for 2 hours as I’m “not back in time”.

Youd think for one weekend he’d have sacked off the gym. Poor DSD.

When I was sick after Christmas, he spent everyday in doors with her. Didn’t take her the park, shops, walk, play centres, swimming - no where. Because I was not doing it too!

Im having a conversation with him tonight about our future. Feeling ok about it but also prepared for some backlash… coming back here to keep me focused!

You must feel shattered that he has let you down so badly. I hope things are better this weekend and your plans to leave are coming together.

This is a forum, not the Samaritans, a spread of views is to be expected and the OP is neither forced to respond nor even to read it.

I haven't personally asked the OP for a single scrap of information so your comment about shoe size makes no sense.

I responded to someone who was attacking posters who dared to speculate about another woman, who posted

" Hes taking his daughter there all the time so its obviously not another woman, I think people like to stir that up to upset someone. "

to point out that their accusation that posters were posting just to upset someone was unfair because a look at the title alone would tell them that the child was not going to the gym with her father.

I'm sorry it annoys you, but I'm not going to stop pointing out when people are attacking other posters unfairly. Including your post now attacking me.

@seasonofthebitch

I understand your feelings. But remember we're here if you find you need more support, perhaps on a new thread.

Take care and remember that you are strong and you've got this!

No one has driven the OP away. She's an adult, she is able to answer a question or ignore a speculation.

No one is trying to hurt you, OP. A lot of women posting here have had dreadful experiences of their ex-partner's behaviour and are naturally going to look at your situation in that light.

I wonder if you have been talked around from your decision by your husband. If you have, I hope it's because you can see genuine understanding from him and a willingness to change.

Sorry that this thread has become less useful and supportive for you, you don't owe anyone here explanations or updates. I'm sure I'm not alone in really hoping you feel able to post on here again though, if you need support or a sounding board in the future: I hope the positive and thoughtful comments outweighed the less useful.

I wish you the best of luck in the future, and in finding better relationships where you are loved and respected and can thrive together - and I hope for your SDs sake that her bio parents take everything you have said as a wake up call and start acting like adults.

@Imdunferperfectly aware it’s a public forum.

The reference to inside leg measurement and bra size (not shoe size) was sarcasm given your statement (“do we find it credible…”) questioning the OP’s credibility/honesty in respond to her saying she hadn’t considered an OW. You suggesting she was being untruthful prompted her clearly feeling the need to defend herself, so yes your post did have the impact of forcing an answer.

it’s laughable you’re complaining about being “attacked”when I’ve done nothing of the sort. I simply pointed out the op didn’t owe you anything and it wasn’t on to essentially call her a liar. I can only assume you’re feeling attacked as it seems I’m one of many who have replied to your nonsense which speaks volumes. I’ve no doubt you won’t be deterred though so do crack on.

@seasonofthebitchignore these posters.

Of what relevance is your comment that the OP didn't owe me anything? I have never asked anything from her! Not even an update, a twist several others have bothered her with.

Can we just get back to the OP, who has done a brave and difficult thing? I wish her, as I've done several times already on this thread, all the best with her future life

I think you’re on a wind up @Imdunfer

you questioned the OP’s credibility and essentially called her a liar. Indirectly you were asking something of her. If she stayed quiet you’d have taken it as an admission. So instead she clarified her position. As I said she didn’t /doesn’t owe you a detailed blow by blow account of what her thought process has been.

agree the op has been brave. Just a shame individuals like you have wanted the opportunity to stick the boot in to make matters worse. I have no doubt you’ll reply with yet more nonsense - knock yourself out.

No one has stuck a boot. I come here only once a day, usually after my dinner ...gym and OW always come up in similar threads....

a surgeon with a massive ego not being able to have sex with two women on the go....I lived with surgeons and nurses in some parts of my life....

it is commenting, not sticking the boot. If I wanted to stick a boot, I would say something rude

Also had the impression OP is already agreed on a divorce with the man and that is her priority, so....OP....do you then still love this man and want not a divorce? - because if yes, you have lost nothing and thanks God, this little girl will never lose you ....it is only up to you to make up your mind

You're on a public forum with a massive user base, who can write what they like. I'll repeat, again, I have not asked the OP for anything, so please stop with this "she doesn't owe you anything" nonsense. Try reporting my posts to the proper forum police and see if they get removed. Or how about you just stop telling other people what they can write, and making this more about you than about the OP.

I wish the OP every happiness in her future, whatever she decides that should be.

@Imdunferas I said I think you’re on a windup, or in hindsight a bit dim. I’d try to explain again but your comprehension skills are clearly lacking.

I hope you find happiness and find someone who deserves you! Seriously hard to take the first steps so well done - lean on your sister, she sounds like good people!

how are you, OP?