Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

[seasonofthebitch]

Just wanted to update the previous thread…

I’m about to get on the train home after lovely weekend with my sister. I’m more certain now of my boundaries and what I will and won’t accept. I expect this will lead to the end of the marriage.

DP called me this morning and said he was “so tired, with another full on day”. He’s taken DSD AGAIN to his gym for 3 hours and will be going to take her again tonight for 2 hours as I’m “not back in time”.

Youd think for one weekend he’d have sacked off the gym. Poor DSD.

When I was sick after Christmas, he spent everyday in doors with her. Didn’t take her the park, shops, walk, play centres, swimming - no where. Because I was not doing it too!

Im having a conversation with him tonight about our future. Feeling ok about it but also prepared for some backlash… coming back here to keep me focused!

Well done for being so strong. Yes he may temporarily improve his ways but this is who he is to his core and he would soon slip back into old habits.

It's a theory of mine, don't know if it's true or not, that some men think the women who love them love them like their DMs do, just as DM wouldn't turn her back on them that's how their wives feel. It comes as such a shock to men when women like @seasonofthebitch finally turn away and have lost all love for them, then it's mad scrambling to win them back.
You'd think since his own DM was fed up with him the Ops husband would have pulled his head out of his arse a lot sooner

@arethereanyleftatall has it - you've probably done your grieving.

What a fool, selfish using fool, the man is.

Sorry, just wanted to say @ReleaseTheDucksOfWar that's a great name

Best outcome. I get the feeling if you were not so strong he would not change. He is selfish, he proved that as a Father as well. He did not put his daughter first.

Op your had one hell of a week, your strong enough to know your worth op,
Hope this weekend is nicer for you, I hope h as put plans in place for the little one, 💐

I think his OW dumped him when she found out about DSC.

Not married, sounded like a one night stand situation.

@seasonofthebitch

Sadness may come. If it does just remember it's sadness for the loss of the dream, for the man you thought he was not the man he is.

Whilst he's being all contrite, get your ducks in a row and take the actions you want to take. Once he realizes Mr Contrite isn't getting him what he wants, he'll probably turn nasty. You want to be ready to take the nope train to Nope Town when that happens.

Or because he'd realised that despite his desperate efforts it wasn't actually making any money?

Could the constant gym issue could have been an OW

I honestly thought this for a bit as well 💯

Crossed my mind as well.

I assume he sold it because, as the OP mentioned way back, it wasn't successful. By "sold" he may just mean that he's terminated his contract with the gym, so is no longer having to pay for space there, and has passed his 2 or 3 customers on to someone else.

I thought the business was just an excuse for going to the gym so he could avoid his kid and OP had to care for her.
He's panicking now his unpaid nanny is wanting out.

people really contemplating making my situation worse? It’s like tattle

I mean... it's a bit weird that he immediately gave up his business! But who knows, OP.

Op I don’t think it’s ow he took his dc to the gym so it’s not for sex. I think it’s to escape the responsibility which he cannot hack he’s a selfish man who puts himself first always your just sick of playing second fiddle to his lifestyle and now you have seen the light he’s panicking because he doesn’t want to lose the unpaid nanny but don’t dwell on it being another woman.

I don't think it's another woman, and I don't think anyone suggested it on your previous thread.

Hope you are doing ok @seasonofthebitch and not falling for the couple of weeks of Model Husband and Father act you are no doubt being lovebombed by.

x

I think the "business" was likely more of a selfish thing to spend time out of the house (and not parenting) under the guise of "networking" as the important businessman. From what you said in your previous thread it didn't make money so was basically a hobby - but calling it a "business" was a way of guilting you into accepting his selfishness.

I don't think that it's really fair to blame posters for that. It surely must have crossed your mind, that number of trips to the gym? I think it's probably one of the commonest excuses for a couple of hours absence and coming home tired and freshly showered that there is.

Whatever, it's irrelevant now, you have broken the tie and your life will be your own again soon. Congratulations on that, it takes some guts.

I think it was just people suggesting how quickly he was able to drop the gym as an excuse for being shitty.

I think the speed at which he sold the business gives the game away. Im almost certain there's another woman in the mix after that revelation.

Why do people always do that? Almost gleefully jumping to the OW trope. Its clearly not the case here and she has enough on her plate fgs. Hes taking his daughter there all the time so its obviously not another woman, I think people like to stir that up to upset someone. Stop it! This is someones life, not an episode of Eastenders, shes upset enough as it is.

Just ignore OP. Hope you are doing ok and remaining strong. I suspect the sadness will kick in at some point but I hope you can keep your resolve.

A marriage break up is awful and its not going to be easy, but you will be ok.