Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being overly suspicious of my DD13?

356 replies

Notenoughsleeptoday · 17/01/2026 13:28

A week ago DD13 announced at dinner that she would be going to the town next to us (10 minutes away by train) with her friends, but instead of saying the name of that town, I heard her say 'London' (which is an hour away). I said "London?!" and she said that she didn't say London but said the name of the town next to us. The town name is nothing like London. My husband insisted that she said the name of the town and I thought it was a bit odd, but dismissed it as my mistake. My husband now admits that he wasn't actually listening to the conversation.

Yesterday I asked her if she wanted me to buy the train tickets but she said her friend's mum is buying it. This seemed feasible as an adult travelling with a child, the child's ticket is only £1, whereas buying it alone is more expensive.

This morning she left for the town with her friends from school, which I've never met - I don't know any of her school friends. My husband dropped her off and said that she had got the time wrong and that's why her friends weren't there, but they'll be arriving soon.

This afternoon she text me to say that the shops weren't accepting her card and it might be because she doesn't have enough money, so could I transfer £60 and she'll pay me back. I text back asking why she wants so much money and then I checked her location, she was in Stratford. It's quite out of character for her to lie about where she was going especially as I would have let her go anyway if there was an adult present and also I've never known her to want to spend so much money, so I asked her to phone me to check it was really her. She called and insisted that she needed £60 for some really cute boots and although she has that much in cash, the shop only accepts card. I agreed and put £65 on her card. She then went to Zara and spent £35, not £60. I text to ask why she asked for £60 for boots and she said that they must have been reduced at the till. I asked why she lied about where she was going and she said that Stratford and our local town sound similar and she got them mixed up.

She then text to say her card wasn't working again - it is a bit of a crap bank and the card often fails - and she couldn't buy lunch as everywhere they have tried is card only. I told her to give the cash to a friend or the mum and they pay for the food, but she said that they won't do that. I can't imagine a mum being pointlessly difficult and letting a child go hungry.

Any of these alone, I wouldn't have even noticed, but everything together is seeming a bit suspicious. Her accidentally saying London and then coincidentally going to London, her not needing me to buy the ticket to the local town, her arriving at the station at the wrong time so my husband couldn't actually see her friends or the mum, her requesting huge amounts of money for boots and then only spending half of it, the mum happily paying for her train ticket but letting her go hungry by not accepting cash from my daughter and paying by card.

Or maybe I'm just being over the top.

OP posts:
diddl · 19/01/2026 10:17

So to clarify, Op's daughter was with a couple of friends & one of their mums, but not where she said she would be?

So she still wouldn't have been allowed there even with an adult?

Anonanonanonagain · 19/01/2026 11:12

I am glad your dd is safe and all is well but honestly your 13 year old has more freedom than my 16 year old.

DallasMajor · 19/01/2026 11:36

Anonanonanonagain · 19/01/2026 11:12

I am glad your dd is safe and all is well but honestly your 13 year old has more freedom than my 16 year old.

But that isn't healthy. In two year they will be an adult, with no experience or skills.

ThatAgileRosePanda · 19/01/2026 11:51

Does she know you can see her location?
if so, she’s not hidden it.
Time to find out who the friends are. It could be she’s paying for them and lying about it and that’s a problem.
Teenagers do lie but at 13 I’d be very concerned.

Anonanonanonagain · 19/01/2026 11:54

DallasMajor · 19/01/2026 11:36

But that isn't healthy. In two year they will be an adult, with no experience or skills.

Worked for the older pair!

AnaisVB · 19/01/2026 15:05

I would nip this in the bud and have some kind of punishment or definitely consequence for lying and misleading. She needs to know it’s not on, and I would try and get to the bottom of why she lied . Obviously it’s not unusual for kids to tell lies and try it on for getting more money, but I was way too lax on my eldest and he got himself into some really dodgy situations. I grew up very near Stratford (and live a few stops away in Suburbia now ha) and my son got robbed there - not trying to scaremonger but Westfield is a hotbed for muggings and if she had lost her phone or had it taken you wouldn’t know where she was. That’s not ok at 13! Just overall it feels like she’s pushing it and you don’t want to not trust her . Also if she’s asking for lots of money that could be concerning.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread