Lodger concerns

[Hockorydickerydock]

My lodger is having a hernia operation and there no sign of any family support

I work full time and don’t have time to be caring for my tenant who pays me rent, and for me it over steps the mark - he should be having family to help care for him or - or going to stay at family members where he can be helped and supported!

AIBU - to expect him To sort this out ?
AINBU - to leave him to it- as I be out working 8am to 6pm and have enough going on!
I feel like he expect me to sort his dinner and so on! Yet we don’t have any conversations or socialise - he rents a room games cooks and goes to work?

He will not need help . He will be able to move around and microwave meals etc . The hospital only asks if there will be someone in the same residence for the first day or so not that he will be cared for . As a fellow human it would be nice if you offered him a meal on the first day but it sounds like that won't be happening.

Has he got much freezer space? It would be kind to free some up for him if not to buy a stack of ready meals and if he's struggling for the first few days it would be kind to offer to microwave one for him while you're prepping your own dinner.

He is not your problem. If you get concerned. Ring Social. Services

As for food he can always get home deliveries of take away food and supermarket essentials.

If there's no one to collect him or stay with him, surely they'll keep him in overnight, and if he tells them he has no one, social services can sort him out, he's not your problem OP. Just make it very clear your are not his carer!

Hev is defo has a lot of freezer space and fridge space and whole 2 door cupboard for soups and so on and microwave and air fryer

Yea off course as I leave at 7am won’t be back until 6-7pm so he be starving if he waits for me!

would you take half day annual leave to cook a lodger business arrangement. Meal?

My dogs are very happy and their trainer comes in 3 times a day to see them walk them 30 minutes - or the dogs would of been put to sleep, I saved their lives!

the happiest dogs known to man!
3 times walks a day
2 meals
mate comes in from
5-7 and feeds them?

next time I just let them die then because you said so! Weekends they go on massive 10 miles walks each day! And get spilt

My dog walker isn’t a people person and I would certainly not expect him to do anything!

and he would refused point blank!

Still, he can call out to the dog walker in an actual emergency. Which is pretty unlikely to happen. I doubt they'll be sending him social workers or district nurses, but the hospital will make sure he's steady on his feet before leaving and they won't turf him out if he tells them he's not ready to go. He'll be fine.

Off course my dog walker will ring an ambulance or take him a bottle up and see if he ok?
But he won’t be cooking or microwaving food as he in leads on and straight out with dogs!

it’s a tight turn around! He walks a lot of dogs

I have on purposely ordered 24 tins of soups for said lodger and I been made to feel bad!

I have told lodger to tell hospital he has nobody around to hangout for 24 hours so he said he be honest!

I think I’ve done more than enough here!

Also the food I eat he won’t touch! So it be pointless offering one of my cooked meals!

You can just ignore posts OP. You really don't have to justify yourself on anything outside the remit of your original topic.

I don't understand why you have ordered 24 tins of soup for him.

He could have done that himself, couldn't he?

Did you ask him what kind of soup he likes?

Despite plenty of advice here you have decided he is your responsibility and have acted accordingly.

What a waste of a thread.

This has to be a wind up... 24 tins of soup....

Over and out

Sure. But who needs cooked or microwaved food? He's not going to suffer from eating cold snacks for a day or so, on the off-chance he doesn't feel up to heating food himself.

Hundreds of thousands of people cope alone when they are ill. I have emergency snacks (crackers, peanut butter, blackcurrant squash) for the eventuality. It's fine and I don't see that you need to be involved at all.

24 tins of soup he loves tomato Heinz soup

The hospital have asked already who'll help him for first 2-3 days due to no core work can be done eg getting out of bed?

And what has he told them, @Hockorydickerydock? Or, come to that, what has he said about how he's going to get home from hospital?

Because if there's any chance he's said you'll look after him I wouldn't trust him to inform them himself that you won't be doing it ... I'd be straight on the phone to the discharge team, making it very clear myself

Single women have c sections and go home next day. They have to care for themselves and their baby and manage.

He’ll be fine. He’s a grown man.

Very kind of you. You've done more than enough.

He should avoid trying to use his core muscles to get out of bed but he will be able to use his arms and legs. A pillow down the side of his bed to lean on will help, though it's not essential. He can google all this and may have it in post op leaflets. He can practise before he is discharged.

He’s not had the operation yet, so why can’t he order his own soup, microwave meals, sort his own plans out?

OP, if you were having a planned operation, how would you proceed? Would he be wittering about you and posting on TopGear.com about how he’s ordered you 24 tins of your favourite soup, spending nearly £20? He’d be laughed out of the website.

I know a lot of men are lazy arseholes who won’t lift a finger to help anyone, but in this case I think we can all learn something. You included!

Anyway, you obviously are determined to take on the role of mother, so all the best. Hope he recovers well.

Dramatic? Oh cut the crap…If this was a female lodger you’d all be falling over yourselves wanting to pop round with a home made casserole!

How did the situation with your lodger work out @Hockorydickerydock ?

Not your responsibility, he is an adult who has the option of hiring home care if required. You were kind enough to supply the soup. He’ll be fine, many women come home to a useless husband and children, they survive.
Put the microwave in his room, if it makes you feel better. He can rinse his bowl in the bathroom sink.

WTF? Why would a lodger being female make any difference??

Are you on something??