AIBU to be turned off by unwashed hands and a small package?

[Tink3rbell30]

I've recently been dating again after a bad experience and long break. I have known this person years and we have chatted quite often so the familiarity is there. 2 things: he has a very small package and the whole thing was just very awkward and it didn't really work. And after a random conversation it turns out that he doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet (both a wee and poo). I'm really fussy with cleanliness and to me that is very basic hygiene.

AIBU to do a 180 turn on the whole thing? He is trying to make plans to see me this weekend as we speak. My friend says give it another meet up and see as sex is always very awkward at first but it's the hand washing thing aswell.

Omg yuck

It's hard to teach someone how to be hygienic.

In the future, you will continually have conversations like "have you washed your hands"?

The small bits is something that could be tried out to see if it's to your liking. But the none hand washing is an absolute no no!

Ewww that is so gross! Bet he is not clean in other departments either. Glad he told you and you can run. He can’t help his package size but can help his hygiene, truly disgusting 🤢

Sounds like a cocktail sausage

Imagine the romantic scene, he goes for a poo. Then 5 mins later slopes into the bed room for a bit of fun. He touches your hoo haa with his unwashed hands, touches your face and touches anywhere else!

Then he tries to use his very small penis to push the faecal bacteria further up into your hoo haa.

What a gent! What a catch! It's a no from me.

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like germs, who does right? But I'm not convinced that all men wash their hands routinely or well. I get round this by shrieking have you washed your hands? every time DP is in the kitchen. Not that he's there often, can barely locate the microwave, the small package I have no advice about

Think back to your last UTI… do you want that to be a regular occurrence?

I mean the mushroom melodrama I could handle as I have no libido.
But what grown man is willing to let slip that he never washes his hands after going to the loo? That is grim.
I am always surprised that men have no idea how female anatomy works. That if old filthy fingers Frank decides to go anywhere near your bits, then you are at least looking at a nice UTI. At least.
Sometimes when you wonder why a man is single, you get an answer.
And your friend? Well, you could do with a new one of those as well!

Imagine a man saying he doesn’t do loose vaginas? Bet that would go down well on mumsnet. 🙄

The dirty hands thing is gross but so is sleeping with him when you're not even dating. Criticising the size of a man's 'package' is so crass. He can't help it. I'm sure there was plenty to be said about your fat arse or small tits. But that would be terrible 🙄 Tell him the dirty bastard behaviour is a deal breaker and he will need to stop that right now. Ending it on account of the size of his willy is so pathetic though.

Don’t be scared to tell the truth but kindly. Explain that you were grossed out by his lack of hygeine and also the sexual connection wasn’t there for you. You aren’t being unkind - you’re being honest. You don’t need to tell him he’s tiny but you can say there is no connection there. And your friend should be told that you’re not apologising for not wanting an unhygienic man to touch you intimately and that you’re too old to tolerate mediocre/crap sex.

YANBU at all. I'm sitting next to DH reading this thread and he looked at me and said "Are you alright, you look completely revolted!", and that's just from reading about the hand washing comment!

I would send a text saying that you felt you were quite clear that one of your deal breakers when dating is that they wash their hands regularly, and you were surprised when he admitted not doing so, so you assumed he understood there would not be another date. Simple, and definitely no need to mention his penis.

He's given you the ick basically. It's not love or even just. It's friendship at best.

Are you a man with a small package 🤣 or woman with a man who has one… single women can sleep with who they want when they want. And they can decide they don’t want to have mediocre sex with someone just to not hurt his feelings! 🤣

I obviously don't frequent men's toilets but a male friend of mine (fastidiously clean one!) always says only catch the very top of the door handle coming out of a shared door to public toilets as in his words men seldom wash their hands! In the hopes obviously that they have caught the middle of the handle. So either he's very unlucky in what he sees in bathrooms or it's rife!

She can end it for whatever reason she wants.

She doesn’t enjoy sex with him. So she doesn’t want to have sex with him. Are you suggesting she should have sex with someone she doesn’t want to have sex with because her reasons aren’t good enough?

He sounds like a catch.. not.

I think I'd text him, "you know I said not handwashing was a turn off....well it is. No thanks"

Oh great, I feel this needs a whole new thread. Who's DP's wash their hands after a poo?! I'm shocked if it's actually common not to!

Oh dear. If your "friend" thinks you're asexual because you don't want to date someone who doesn't wash their hands after having a shite then that seriously calls into question your "friend's" basic standards of hygiene. If I were you, I wouldn't let her make me a cup of tea and a sandwich! Google Typhoid Mary - very bad things can happen when you ingest the faeces of another person, human faeces contains innumerable bacteria and sometimes parasites. I have OCD so I might be a bit over the top here, but I would've had to have disinfected my entire house after he told me that little gem and if I'd already shagged him before he told me that, I may have actually killed him.

Just asked DH and he was disgusted at the thought of anyone not washing hands (with soap) after a poo

4" hard and quite skinny.

Oh no it’s not normal I have plenty of men in my life I can’t even imagine that they don’t wash I worked in a nursery and they teach 3 year olds to wash hands so not sure why they would stop in adult it’s fucking disgusting. Op don’t accept it as normal.