Am I being an overbearing parent or is this normal for 8 weeks in secondary school ?

[2026sendhelp]

DD started secondary school In September - an independent school.

In 8 weeks of being there the following happened. — was not allowed to play with the air hockey table as was told by the other girl she makes the rules. —was told Mutiple different lies about other children saying things about her like “ your the only one they don’t like etc
~ told she wasn’t allowed on the group what’s app because none of her peers knew who she was - she’s invisible and then encouraged to take a photo of herself for the girl to send the boys in which she was told by the girl nope they still have no idea who you even are.
-told that the school therapist and disclosed information to the other student about daughter not belonging in a form.
~public social media posts calling her a b* h** and lil beg with a further post referencing her friends ( not in same school ) wanting to Jump her.

we were told that this a fairly normal to happen in year 7

my DD is terrified to go to school every morning - she is a passive young 12 year old who has no so much missed a homework deadline.

I first saw your post on Facebook and I found it really hard to understand what had happened without the bullet points.

Have you contacted her form tutor? Then head of year? Then head of school? This is

For contrast - also independent school; DS called a homophobic nickname as a username on an online/offschool context by another pupil. Pupil called in by head and disciplined (one day suspension) and made to amend the username (which involved the online forum being involved as the username could not be changed without their input).

This gives the bully great power other kids will be ok.

I would change school if possible, we tried going down the route of trying to sort out the bullies with the head of year and our youngest was told the girl was being moved out of her lessons. She still had to see her at school, please sort this out before your daughter refuses to go to school.