I know I am being wildly unreasonable about DD’s New York trip but I need people to tell me I am

[CurlewKate]

Dd is going to New York for a two week work trip tomorrow. Obviously I won’t tell her this-but I am so scared about her being in the US at the moment. I’m not at all an anxious person and I’ve never felt like this about anyone travelling abroad before. Tell me I’m being completely irrational!

I live in NYC with children. She will be fine. Nothing to note normal life here. immigration ok and quick through JFK if that’s a concern.

Just tell her the weather has dropped currently -8 so bring warm clothes! That’s it and enjoy the city for what it is!

What are you scared of exactly?

Thank you. I’ve already sent her cashmere socks in a covert attempt to keep her safe!🤣

I have just bought flights today for me and my 21-year-old daughter! Can’t wait for our New York trip…

I’ve stopped planning trips to the US for now but not because of safety. She will be fine.

I was in the US not long ago, though not NY. It was absolutely fine, what exactly are you worrying about?

This is just ridiculous.

Cashmere socks really are life savers so I'm with you on that.

What are you fearful of exactly?

Add a really warm hat and ear muffs! In NY one December I couldn’t believe how cold it was, esp. with wind-chill added - my ears actually hurt. I had to buy ear muffs PDQ.

Some people esp. Brits. like to say that a ‘dry cold’ doesn’t really feel that cold - yes it bloody does! Of course it was ‘dry’ - every tiny droplet of moisture was frozen solid!

No advice on NY other than to listen to PPs here. Posting because I became very anxious when peri menopause hit and it has remained with me! Used to work in high pressured environments so no idea where it came from, but if you are noticing it in other areas, it is worth chatting to a GP re HRT and looking at natural methods to help manage it down.

I burst into tears when my DS announced his preferred uni was Manchester (not in front of him obv) and had no idea where that came from - guess I’m trying to say it’s normal!

Ive just got back from New York. It was wonderful. Please let her enjoy her work trip. What a great opportunity.

I work in a risk-averse field and colleagues with some passports have stopped work travel to the US for safety reasons, but it‘s considered safe at present for British passport holders, so I wouldn‘t worry in your position.

What is supposed to be wrong with NYC? I was there recently, and my best friend lives and works there. I'm not sure what you're afraid of, exactly?

My DS recently went to NYC and Washington on a school trip. The only shocking ( to me) thing that happened to him was he hit the fruit bowl in the hotel which is unheard of for him. In his words 'I just couldnt take the millionth donut for breakfast!'

I get where you're coming from, and would feel anxious too if it was my child going to the US.

But I think she should be fine in New York - it's an incredibly international city, huge number of visitors for work or tourism, so she's not going to stick out or get any unwarranted attention for not being American.

The usual caveats apply - avoid any protests, if there is anything kicking off, turn and walk away.

And cashmere socks are a great gift!

Yes, yes you are being wildly unreasonable.

I have seen an increase in hysteria on Mumsnet surrounding America recently (Trump, border control, ICE etc), but please engage your brain for a moment here OP.

It’s New York your daughter is visiting, not Mogadishu.

Weren’t people saying that about Minneapolis a few weeks ago?

Even though I voted YABU because you know yourself you are, the absolute thuggery on the streets of another major city would give me pause for thought as well OP so I don’t blame you for questioning it. But don’t let it get in the way of your DD having a great time!

I don't think it's unreasonable. Things are very weird in the US now. I wouldn't go but then I'm not white.

It's totally fine.

I'm from NYC, my parents still live there, one of my DC is there, I was there last week. It's completely fine, she'll have a great time. There were some peaceful protests last week, there seem to be some ongoing ones outside the Federal Courthouse downtown, but it doesn't feel threatening at the moment.

The weather is crazily changeable, warmish and rainy to brutally cold, and NYC cold is its own animal.

Tell her to make sure she has a pizza at John's of Bleeker Street.

I don't disagree that it's horrifying and worrying (and stomach churningly disgusting), but the administration has a specific vendetta against Minnesota and the president is like a dangerous toddler, so it's kicking off there.

Igniting that kind of unrest in NYC would be a very costly thing to do in a number of ways. There have been some raids, like the one on Canal Street, and I'm sure there are some ongoing ICE operations there, but I really don't think there's any reason to worry too much about NY. The last time ICE showed up in force there, protestors blocked them in a parking garage and then they beat a retreat. 2 people were charged but the charges have been dropped.

Kindly, you tell yourself this is about safety, when in truth it is about control, and your inability to tolerate a world you cannot police. Grow up.