I know I am being wildly unreasonable about DD’s New York trip but I need people to tell me I am

[CurlewKate]

Dd is going to New York for a two week work trip tomorrow. Obviously I won’t tell her this-but I am so scared about her being in the US at the moment. I’m not at all an anxious person and I’ve never felt like this about anyone travelling abroad before. Tell me I’m being completely irrational!

Whilst I do understand your concern, It is NYC - pressuming Manhattan?

She will be fine. Be excited for her instead. It is a fabulous city!!

..Definitely encourage the packing of all thermals.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, but I do think NY feels much safer in reality than it does in your mind.

And not to throw a scare into things, but if Greenland kicks off (and I very much hope some kind of sense will prevail and it won't), people in the US are probably safer than we are here.

@nixon1976 Any Times Square outposts can get in the bin!

My dd20 went for a week just before Christmas and had a great time! What is it that you are worried about?

What a silly statement. New York is one of the most diverse place in the world.
Op your daughter will have a fabulous time. My niece is currently in New York and is constantly updating the group chat with all the fun things she's doing and how much she loves it there. It's very cold in Jan/Feb so layers are the key.
Don't believe everything you read most of us here in the States are still just living our normal lives.

My neice went a year ago to see a show on Broadway with her uni friends and she had a great time, though think may have changed since.

Tbh, I think that the worst that could happen to a British citizen currently is that they just get turned back at the border but at the moment I think that's only happening to people who are known to have involvement in progressive political stuff the US regime doesn't like. I don't think they're checking people's social media yet.

It's New York, not Alabama. She'll be fine.

You really need to stop watching the news

YANBU. I was worried when DS went to NY a few years ago , it was 2020 immediately before lockdown. Like you I didn't say it to him, nothing unusual about a parent worrying when DC travel. He made it back just in time before flights stopped , had a great time and dodged covid.

Surely as a parent it is just the norm to have some underlying worry wherever they go? You just have to accept to and manage it. I'd rather NYC than many other places.

Probably one of the worst pieces of advice ever given on any Mumsnet thread!

Why? I rarely watch the news these days and it's done wonders for my mental well-being. A lot of being 'informed' is just doom scrolling and wallowing in collective hysteria.

All the posters making out you are exaggerating or stupid are either ignorant or smug white brits.

I’m nervous too OP, my children are of mixed ethnicity and the immigration tension in the US is real.

I would be more nervous if she was black or mixed race. But that would apply to life in general, not just a trip to New York…

No it is absolutely clear what she did. She had worked illegally in the US by "helping with household chores in return for accommodation". She might think that doesn't count as work, but the Canadians did, refused her entry, then the US wouldn't let her back into the US as they suspected she'd do the same again.

Classic case of fuck around and find out. This is not the case of a poor wee innocent tourist being detained for no reason whatsoever.

I am going to one of the most conservative states in about 6 weeks, I am on a business ESTA, I know exactly what the situation is (I am not being paid, I am receiving an honorarium) as it is my responsibility to know that.

I agree with this.

I also think your DD will be very safe, as she’s an adult woman in NYC on a work trip and presumably she will behave professionally whilst she is there. If that’s the case, you have nothing to worry about.

I also think the main point of your thread is:

a) to show people you’re a wealthy and loving parent (you buy your adult DD cashmere socks as a casual treat) and

b) to show - in a coded way - that you’re a ‘good’ person because you’re against Trump because you won’t travel to the USA and you’re worried about your DD travelling there.

OP’s DD is white, by the way.

Do you actually think these things are done by human? That agents are looking at people’s social media ...

No of course not, @Fuggleup
They'll certainly dig deeper in person if anything flags up, but not for the vast majority, and it's worth remembering that some of the sob stories claiming "I wasn't doing anything!!" aren't necessarily accurate

The fact that people ask "is she white?" tells you everything about what's going on there now. Not a place I'd want to give money to.

I understand your concerns. It's much more likely she'll be fine than not though.

Exactly.

I'm white but I wouldn't have wanted to holiday in apartheid South Africa as I wouldn't want to support that sort of regime. Same as I'd have no interest in holidaying in Saudi Arabia.

Whilst OP's daughter will almost certainly be fine (or if anything bad does happen it'll be getting pickpocketed etc which could happen literally anywhere in the world) other people's daughters won't be.

It amazes me that mumsnet is so anti-Dubai (and rightly so) but the US gets a pass/dismissed as doomscrolling and hysteria.

For those who want to ignore it - there are a lot of links between the people driving the current administration in the US and reform - who are on track to do well at the next election. Nigel Farage has already started talking about abortion. It'll affect us sooner or later.

You are being a bitch! There. Happy now? Can I go back to my Frittata?

Let me know if you need something stronger.

I was in Manhattan just before Christmas. Felt completely safe, and had a fantastic time. Just tell her to look out for the delivery cyclists!

I won’t go for political reasons, no way to I want to appear in the tourism figures as it’s an endorsement of that idiot in charge but I’d feel completely safe in New York particularly because of the lovely new mayor

I mean, come on! None of that is happening to tourists there legally.