to ask if you care about appearing conventional?

[thatsgotit]

And if so, why?

Inspired by about a zillion threads on MN, though not directly a TAAT.

My own answer: outside of the norms of my job (which are pretty relaxed anyway), I don't personally care so much whether people perceive me as conventional or not. I don't think that makes me special or superior or anything like that - nobody is better or worse than others simply because of the things they do/don't do. I just don't care very much personally about whether people think I'm 'weird' for not following certain conventions (and similarly I don't judge others on whether or not they appear conventional), and am curious why it matters to some.

Again, I'm talking about outside of holding a job or progressing one's career, where obviously these things matter more.

Thoughts?

YABU = it matters
YANBU = so long as you're hurting anyone, it doesn't matter

I've had one - and it's not clear if this is a millenial with a septum ring or a geriatric blue rinse yet.

I think social progressivsm is a myth.

Yep, that's pretty much me too!

OK - blue hair (sorry, thread!)
My hair was all kinds of colours, including turquoise and magenta stripes, between the ages of 55 - 65. I fancied experimenting a bit, learned how to use all the bleaches and dyes, then experimented on my own hair. I realised people would ask themselves if I was trying to signal something but, in my case, I think it was pretty obvious I was not.

This is pretty common among middle-aged to older women. Loads have ordinary hair with a brightly-coloured fringe or stripe.

Another thing many of us do is to switch from neutrals to brights; plains to patterns. Maybe it's something to do with awareness that time's running out, so why not be exuberant? I'd also say it's connected with not having to work: having spent the best part of 40 years thinking about making the right impression, I'm enjoying my completely free choice. This also extends to social behaviour. I don't want some pompous geezer's business any more, so I don't pander to him.

I live alone and am staying this way. It's no longer unconventional, but a lot of people seem a bit slow to catch on! Oh, and I talk to myself if I want to 😁

I'm talking about your assumptions when you meet blue-haired people in real life, not on here. You seem to have created this weird situation on this thread whereby you're inviting blue-haired people to prove your prejudices wrong, when perhaps the reasons for your prejudices are the same as the reasons they feel good about themselves when they look in the mirror. Ever stopped to consider that?

Why?

If all of them have been hard work and the common factor is you...

Well, exactly. I used to be quite neutral and plain in my mode of dress, but then my marriage blew up, I ended up a widow, I got made redundant yet again and I developed a 'sod it' attitude that allowed me to have some fun.

I do wear Mock Docs with all kinds of prints though. But that's because I have really shitty ankles and I like the support. Also I'm almost 6 foot, so I really don't want to wear heels.

I find it surprisingly hard to answer! I don't think I care. I am really conventional (in lifestyle, job, fashion etc), but I think it's more because I don't feel the need to express my personality through exterior things. I just don't have particularly unconventional tastes or a desire to stand out. I don't look down on people for being unconventional. If anything, I'd expect to be slightly looked down on for being so conventional - I don't consider being conventional as superior.

Ketamine addiction was the common factor actually and I can't be held responsible for that 😂

I find people dress quite plainly these days compared to the 80s. Maybe due to today’s social media and strong mainstream themes? In the 80s I loved the sense of fun people had experimenting with clothes. Small things like short hair on girls was quite common, rats tails.

Isn’t blue hair just the equivalent of young people today expressing themselves & indicating social progressiveness in the exact same way I’m sure many of you used to express yourselves and indicated your idealistic, youthful social progressiveness based on whatever era you were young?? Eg. Hippies in the 70s, punks in the 80s, goths/grungers in the 90s, emos & skaters with jeans halfway down your arse in the early 2000s. I’m sure you were all heavily judged, avoided and had many eyes rolled at you too for what you were perceived to believe in

I’m quite conventional myself but I like to see others having fun with outfits

I can't ever hide my 'non conventional' personality so what's the point of trying to? I'm me, plenty of people who love me, don't care about anyone who may think I'm weird lol 😆

As a teen and young woman I'd have been highly offended at being thought conventional as I fancied myself as 'unique and different', such is the conceit of the young.
In my 30s and 40s I'd have been more upset to be described as unconventional as it seemed important to 'do life right' and not embarass my DC by standing out from the crowd.
Now in my 50s, I genuinely couldn't care less what people think. I assume they would consider me broadly conventional with some personal quirks.

Fair, but I know lots of odd haired people, and am one, but no ketamine addicts. So the common factor is likely to be addiction and speaking from experience (alcoholic husband) addicts are definitely hard work.

But none of the addicts I've interacted with have had anything but naturally coloured hair.

I have a friend who I think is quite unconventional, and it’s not clear if she knows or cares 😁 as in, she doesn’t shave her legs or armpits unless she fancies it, comes into work with soaking wet hair, wears dungarees in a room full of suits, refers to her son as they/them, can’t be arsed booking her wedding and asked her cousin to sort it and just let her turn up. She looks absolutely nonplussed when challenged or queried upon any of the above.
Genuinely I think she just does whatever she pleases, not for any political stance or reasoning, not depression or neurodiversity etc. She’s a very intelligent happy individual and I love her for it

Every gain has an equivalent trade off. You don't get net progress

I haven't, we've had the butcher, that's it. And I'm happy to accept an exception.

I haven't sidestepped it, I've just answered it, I think it's a myth, for every gain we have equivalent losses. The idea of net progress is a myth in my opinion.

I think I'm probably quietly unconventional. For instance I'm both vegan and ace both of which would put me in categories of 3% or less of the population but neither fact actually comes up on a day to day basis!
Also i can be a loud dresser (yes, I own multiple pairs of flowery dungarees!) but I really hate attention of any kind. I just wear clothes that make me happy.

You have an extremely unconventional opinion!

I disagree with it most strongly. But that's a different thread.

Who says being married and having kids is convencional.

What does it even mean and who cares anyway.

This is a good point and quite sobering amongst the blue hair ‘debate’. There’s a difference between the ‘I’m mad me’ personality, which seems to be what some people on the thread object to, and actually growing up in a genuinely unconventional set up, which may or may not be problematic. I suppose it’s the difference between ‘unconventional’ and ‘mad shit’ and when is it a cover for stuff that can be quite damaging. One of my friends growing up has a family that seem to be a bit unconventional at first but on closer inspection turned out to be doing a load of mad shit that prob just shouldn’t have happened .

I reccomend you read ‘The Classic Slum’ by Robert Roberts and comeback to us on the progress point.

I replied at 17.47. My neighbour is neither millenial or geriatric.

She's late 40s and as far as I can see has no piercings.

for every gain we have equivalent losses.

@BlueJuniper94 really? Can you give me some examples of the things you see in this way, because I really don't see it - and I'm not young. Life in the west is infinitely, infinitely better these days for women, gay people and people who are an ethnic minority where they live.