DS 20 not coping with work - get him to claim UC?

[dswork]

DS 20 has ASD and ADHD. Since 18 he has had multiple jobs and not coped with any in any form. FT, PT, retail, hospitality, admin etc etc.

Every job requires me to support him SO much. I have to help him get ready, deal with panic attacks and anxiety daily. Call in when he can’t leave the house, drop him off and pick him up and through every shift offer support with calls and messages when he has to take breaks . I’m exhausted and he just can’t seem to cope.

He gets PIP. Do I suggest to him that he puts a claim in for UC? To have a temporary break from working as it really doesn’t seem to be working out at all? The GP is supportive as says the stress and anxiety for DS is so high that he’s in burnout.

Does PIP give him NI credits ?
if not then he either needs a wage or to be on UC which will build up his contributions to NI. Not just for a state pension, but I think over his lifetime, to entitle him to NHS care and other services like a council flat.

No I don’t think so? I’m not actually sure. I will
find out

I’d be concerned about the temporary fix becoming permanent. Do you have ideas for supporting him into work at a later date? Also he might become quite isolated if he’s not working so while this sounds a reasonable plan I would be cautious about him not wanting to start again.

All he does when home is sleep , emerges to eat and drink and sleeps again it’s like work is so stressful he is not able to do anything else

I do feel that way but he definitely needs some kind of break now as both of us are exhausted and at breaking point.

You want to put him on the scrap heap at aged 20?

Don’t be ridiculous I’ve been helping him daily for 2.5 years to enable him to work and he’s now physically affected and I’m exhausted. We need a break before one or both of us gets really unwell.

Is he on any anti anxiety meds to help with anxiety.

It doesn't sound like your DS is well enough to be in work at the moment. If he currently has a job, I would see if the GP will sign him off for a few weeks to give you both space to think about what might happen next.

It sounds like your DS has been trying lots of different types of things which is admirable but also that he's not really thinking about what types of work are possible for him and would suit him. Retail would be a nightmare for a lot of autistic people. Would he prefer to work outdoors? Or largely alone? With one person that he can get to know well and can trust? Would self employment work better for him? Can he get support from Access to Work to pay for some neurodiversity coaching.

It sounds like he's got into a bit of a pattern of starting a job, finding it unsuitable and stressful and then leaving that role, but jumping into something else. This means he never really has time to adjust to a change and for it to become his routine. He needs to find something he can cope with enough to stick with.

No the gp will not prescribe due to DS having low blood pressure

Could you suggest voluteering as a brief respite from working? It would be less pressured for him. Getting him to claim UC might as others have said become the new norm.

Is he on any medication, serlan is good for depression, anxiety and stopping the noise.
I suppose he could claim while he is not coping, the fear is that he won’t be motivated to cope if receiving UC.
I would see the go for an ssri prescription.
I take a low dose and it is fantastic. I never appreciate the help until I stop and plummet into a wreck who I hate, I’m a solid tough person when I take my 50mg daily.

Has he spoken to his GP about employment support? In my area there’s a service called ‘Working Win’ which supports anyone who needs it with finding work, and staying in work. They can help anyone who needs support with work due to health conditions etc, like finding a job which suits their needs, and speaking to employers if people need adaptations etc. Might be worth exploring before him quitting work.

PIP doesn't give NI credits, but if you qualify for UC for being out of work due to disability (this needs to be assessed) then you do.

PIP is a non means tested benefit, it won't give him NI credits. Yes if he can't seem to work due to his disability, I would claim for UC.

There is likely a support function for those who struggle due to issues such as your son’s. Could you contact your local DWP office and ask? My nephew was the same and the support to get him into employment was great and carried on for a while after too. A lot of it will be finding the right workplace for him which they will help with. Best of luck - it can’t be easy.

we tried sertraline when he was 17 and he had a bad reaction / sensory issues to side effects (he got severe nausea) and he refused to take it again

If he's in burnout then work is making him unwell. Yes I think he needs proper time off to rest. Autistic burnout takes quite a long time to recover from. If he takes enough time to properly recover he will hopefully learn more about himself and what helps him, and eventually can consider what kinds of work may actually suit him without him burning out. But I wouldn't push it as trying to do too much too soon can just set him back into burnout. He needs proper rest.

I have severe nausea, stomach pains and a raging appetite. I gained a stone. Within 6 weeks the nausea stopped, the weight dropped off as I was out walking again, stopped feeling like I was going to cry or run.
If he can manage the first 4/5 weeks it is definitely worth it. Good luck 🤞

This is what the GP keeps saying. She’s weighed him each appt too and he has lost nearly 1 stone in the last 4 months. She checked in case of diabetes due to the sleeping more too but it was all clear for that.

Is he in the right type of work? Retail and hospitality can both be very busy and stressful, especially with Christmas. Would he be better in something low demand, working outdoors for example?

It sounds like you both need a bit of a break, but make a firm commitment that it is time limited, a month maybe? Otherwise you could easily fall into the trap that out of work is easier and more comfortable making it very difficult to get back in for a variety of reasons.

Can he be signed off sick? If not or he is in a zero hours contract or similar then I'd give on UC

I'd agree with a pp that he should use this time to work on what type of job would be suitable for him long term. As it sounds like the sectors he has worked in are not the right fit for him. What does he like doing eg nature / outdoors, working with young children etc. He could spend the tien researching and volunteering

It’s just exhausting and he’s not coping but neither am I now as well I feel unwell from stress and tiredness

Burnout from autism and adhd aren't anything to do with a lack of motivation to cope @EmeraldShamrock000 . Pushing through would make things worse and could lead to mental and physical health problems long term.

I am assuming he technically doesn’t have to work?

UC is a mixture of all the old benefits and anyone can claim to top up their income.

The only concern I would have is that if he does technically have to work, then he will be expected to go to appointments and look for work and even be given unpaid work of 40 hours a week.

So I would put him on UC, give him a couple weeks of reset but then look for PT work in an area better suited to him.