FIL pissed me of

[Shakeyshakeybaby]

So totally expect to be told I'm unreasonable but hear me out. Myself and DH are married 25 years, three DC aged 17 , 16 and 14. We have only been away from our kids once since the oldest was born and that was for three nights. PIL minded the kids. They have never offered and apart from those three nights we never asked as we knew they wouldn't mind the kids , especially FIL.

So about three weeks ago my DH booked two nights away for me and him. It's a 40 minute flight. He asked MIL could she just stay the two nights in our house with the kids. She agreed. Kids get on well with MIL. Kids are good kids but just wanted an adult there with us being in a different country. All good so far.

The thing is one of our DDs plays soccer at a high level and she has just signed for a new team and has a match on Sunday. We thought all the paperwork might not be gone through on time so we would be ok to go away. Bear in mind that during the season we are unable to go away due to her football.

So DH asked FIL could he bring her. His response was " no I go to lidl on a Sunday morning". This was after DH had just done FIL a huge favour ( not the first time). He then had the neck to say" I will drop your mother around on Friday night, I heard you are ordering takeaway so I will stay for that and then head home"

@FairKoala there seems to have been a lack of care within your family, most of us do better. There's cultural reasons at play as to why some of the solutions wouldn't have worked.

Why should she have had to take a taxi?

The horrible fil should have taken her.

Dont do any more favours for this man.

I got a taxi in an Irish city recently, it cost me €30 to go 6kms.

i used the term watch in response to HYCO who used the term "watching".
I dont think it unreasonable to ask a grand parent to stay overnight for 2 nights with teens .
Its not "controlling" to ask and the grandparent said yes.
Perhaps she and the teens would enjoy each others company (the OP suggested this was the case)

Perhaps the teens will be of help to her,the OP said they enjoy each others company?

27km - lets convert this back to miles! nearly 17 miles on public transport on a Sunday - must be having a laugh, you'd probably bike it quicker.

Sadly, OP, it's either an Uber or ask the BIL.

The op said that there's no direct public transport to where the match is taking place. That distance would take 1.5 hours on a bike one way ! Probably a bit longer as it's country roads and at the moment it's raining, icy, cold in Ireland and it wouldn't be ideal cycling 1.5hours before a match.

The bil is taking her.

There's no Uber only in Dublin

I know - thats why the suggestions of public transport are mental. and how ironic that biking would be easier.

This thread 😂

Op, your FIL is awful not to help out once. What a mean-spirited man.

Totally understand your points about taxis and public transport. My kids are also involved in sport at a high level and the idea you could somehow send them off in a taxi from one rural location to another - and more importantly get them home - is hilarious!

Sure, we're less than 20km outside a major city, but we may as well be at the top of a remote mountain when it comes to transport options. A taxi costs €50 and if it wasn't illegal to refuse a fare, there are many taxis that would refuse to take us.

I hope you have confidence that your BIL will bring her and you enjoy the break.

Not true. Uber everywhere. Uber-ed a taxi from thurles train station the other day.

Sorry🤭 that one went right over my head

Uber is sort of in Ireland. (Not sure whether OP is though!) You use the Uber app but it will only connect you with registered taxis. So it hasn’t meant an increase in the numbers of lifts available in areas where there are few taxis based.

We literally had Uber/Lift drivers turn up and then refuse to take us when in Dublin - not drunk or owt, middle of the day.

A taxi to another county approx 25 / 30 km away and we're talking €50 - €60. Chances are they wouldn't take you anyway if you had to go so far out of their way. In my not too small town there are 4 taxis to service the local townlands too, so next to no chance of just calling a taxi.
Uber isn't uber as the rest of the world knows it in Ireland either. It's heavily regulated so not any chancer with a car can operate as a taxi.

Exactly @Zucker.
And she has to get back!

OMG, you've just reminded that taxis have refused to take us when flagged down in Dublin - just a normal city hop, not even a fare to the sticks. Never when booking via Uber/Lift though. I shall now count myself lucky!

I really don’t like the undertones in this thread … a mum simply asked for advice and the sarcasm , and Vitriol she is getting back is ridiculous. Some of the posters really should educate themselves on Ireland before they make such uneducated and uninformed statements.
One poster @ allforoneandoneforall (ironic don’t ya think ! ) was quite viscous) I’m getting feelings of a little anti Irish/anti minority sentiments. OP has never stated that she is a traveller nor should she have to … even if she is , she and her husband are forward modern thinking people if her daughter is playing soccer at all . I can smell the bigotry a mile away from some of the comments here, it’s really not very well disguised . As my old mum used to say “ up the west and feck the rest “ OP will understand!

Not true.

I got an uber in another Irish city that is not Dublin.
Uber is available in many towns in Ireland.

Uber doesn't work here like other countries, when you open the Uber app you are connected with registered taxis that are signed with freenow. It's still the same amount of taxis, it just means the driver has signed up to Uber and freenow.

So if a town has 2 registered taxis and they're both signed up with Uber and freenow it's still just 2 taxis in the town. It just means they picked the job from the Uber app rather than the freenow app. The amount of cars available on the apps is the same, the wait time is the same, the drivers available is the same.

The government made it that drivers can't sign up to Uber unless registered with freenow where there's strict rules. Drivers can't just sign up with Uber alone. The majority of the problems is in Dublin as this is where the competition is and the most cars and the most drivers signed with uber, the drivers signed with Uber are fixing their rates which is causing issues with the drivers just signed with freenow, this is why there has been recent protests by the freenow registered taxis.

If I opened the Uber app and the freenow app in Cavan town, I am connected to the same drivers available, there's no extra cars, it's the same drivers available, it just means the driver is signed with both and the majority of the time there will be no taxis available as there are so few cars there, just like my other sister in kells who doesn't have any taxi ranks, the app will say there's taxis available but when you put the booking through it cancels it as there are no taxis, there is one man who everyone rings when they want a taxi, there's another man who's always booked up days in advance, if she wants a taxi she has to pre book one from Navan days in advance and they rarely turn up. My brother in trim has one guy in a van that they ring, these cars get booked up quickly, plus they nearly all work for the HSE doing school and hospital runs and when they are available they'll get an airport run and are not available for hours.