Ex wife still has husband’s surname

[ByCyanPlayer]

Am I wrong to be peeved that my husband’s ex-wife still uses his surname, despite them being divorced 28 years and they were only married for 2 years? They share a son who is 30 but I fail to see why she can’t go back to her maiden name, plus she isn’t the type to be bothered about her and her son having the same surname.

You're being unreasonable, it's her name, she's perfectly entitled not to change it if she doesn't want to. Also, presumably she has the same surname as her child which may well be important to her.

To have the same surname as the kids. Because it's their name now.
They might prefer it to their maiden name. Because it's a faff to change it on everything.

Any others reasons needed?

It’s none of your business really.

So has my husband's ex wife. It didn't occur to me to care tbh.

It's her name, she took it on. She can keep it if she wants. You probably should explore why you're feeling so possessive.

Why do you even care about another woman’s surname?

YABVU.

It's not his surname, it's hers.

She hasn't stolen it or anything 🙄

This. Or perhaps prefix it with "the current...".

It’s her name, and it’s absolutely none of your business.

I use both. I am still Mrs x to those who knew me when I was married and knew me as the mum to the kids.

professionally I always kept my maiden name.

what’s it to anyone else

Honestly, if I’d have known how much this would’ve pissed off my ex’s new wife who was an absolute arsehole I would’ve kept mine as well
She would’ve absolutely hated that 😂

😬

What right do you think you have to have an opinion on her name!! It's her name,.nothing to do with you.

I still have my married name, divorced longer than we were married but it's my name. I can't see myself changing it to be honest, his other ex wife still has it too😂

It’s none of your business what her name is. And why on earth does it matter to you what her surname is? The surname wasn’t lent to her…it was the name she chose when she got married- it’s her name.

My mum kept her married surname after she divorced my dad in the 1980s because she didn’t like her maiden name, she liked her new surname and she wanted the same surname as her children. By the time we all got married and changed our surnames she’d had her married surname longer than her maiden name so didn’t feel any need to change her name.

What you need to do, is go on an and about it to your husband, he'll love that.

Suggest to him that he needs to get her to change it.

Take the hump with him over it.

Only sensible thing to do.

They were together 28 years ago and your letting her piss you off? Yabu. Get a life.

Brilliant 😂

I suspect a lot of people keep it for the kids. My mum did and she loathed my dad.

It's not Highlander, there can be more than one.

I divorced 30 years ago, remarried for 28 years and still kept my first married name, why?, because I wanted the same name as my first born, and didn't want him to feel he was the only person in our home to have a different name. My other children from my second marriage have their fathers name. Also I don't really like my 2nd married name, or my maiden name. My 2nd husband would have preferred I use his name, but understood, and it has never caused any issues with us. My ex husbands partner might have a different view, although nothing has ever been mentioned.

Nowt to do with you, is it? Why do you care? Its just a name. It doesn't belong solely to you.

It isn’t a big deal. My gran kept her married surname when her and my grandad split up. She wanted to keep it same as her boys and then us grand kids. Nobody batted an eyelid even my other gran when she married my grandad didn’t give 2 hoots. I think it’s more common than you think xxx

When they divorced, did your husband offer to consent to changing their DC's surname to her maiden name if she reverted to that?

If my husband and I divorced, I would revert to my previous surname if and only if he agreed that the DC could take that name too. Given that they'd be living mostly with me and I'd be doing most of the heavy lifting, it only feels fair that the kids and I get to share a surname (I understand that this might not matter to others, but it would to me).

1. I really don't agree with women changing/being expected to change their surname when they get married! It's a total anachronism, dating back to the times when a wife was a husband's property! It's ridiculous, quite frankly!
2. I've dated 2 women in the last few years who've kept their ex-husband's surname. One because it was easier to keep it (paperwork etc) and one because she wanted to annoy him.

If they've been divorced 28yrs, and her son is 30, then she probably wanted to keep it at the time to be the same as her son. Then you just get used to it being your name and it's a PITA to change it on everything.

YABU to be peeved about it because it's not harming you in any way.