Cried for 90 mins

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Last night my little one woke and was creaming at 4.15am. I thought something was wrong but he just wanted to go downstairs. I tried to comfort him in my arms but nothing was settling him. Took him in my bed which he rarely comes into and we watched my phone. Probably shouldn't have done that but I can't stand his crying.

He wasn't sleeping but it was nice to have him under the duvet with me.

After 10 mins I put him back in his cot and his room. Same issue occured again - crying to go downstairs.

I just left him in the cot until he eventually slept at 6am.

I did go in one or twice into the room but honestly I can't settle him when he wants to go downstairs and I told him it's dark outside.

I was watching him on the room camera so he wasn't in any danger.

Did I do the wrong thing? Next door is hard of hearing so won't wake him. I live just with toddler.

How adorable, you've got one unicorn baby and think you did it. 😂

I'll try not to judge, we thought the same, although we managed not to be quite so smug about it. SD sleeps a solid 12 hours or more and always has, very happy to go to sleep at 8pm and wake up at 8am every day since babyhood. "We just had a good routine and practised good sleep hygiene," DH explained to me and I thought this made perfect sense and we would do the exact same with DD.

Haha.

I was told that around 4am is when toddlers sleep pressure is lowest, and also change of temperature around then. We also had heating coming on waking ours up. It also helped my 20 month old once she dropped down to just one nap, so might help? I went in and laid in the room with ours, giving her cuddles, but was consistent with it not being time to get and she then fell back to sleep most times

100% this!

You're not perfect parents, you just had an easier child.

I'm trying not to be too harsh as it's not an unusual thing to think, but the smug is strong with this one.

Currently awaiting the birth of my nephew and enjoying listening to my DB tell me about all the things his child will do and not do and all the things he will teach him to think and feel. SIL is more sensible but considerably quieter than DB. DB is not a control-freak, he just has very limited interactions with children and believes that they arrive as blank slates to be coloured in by the parents.

DH’s cousin passed me a sleep programme that I used with DD and I was evangelical about it (still an apparently). DH and I shared it with our friends and family and almost everyone who tried it and stuck to it has kids that sleep well, the only exception is a friend whose son had an adenoids issue. Everyone who claimed the programme didn’t work gave up on it after a few weeks. So yeah, I would say all of us who stuck with it are smug with our perfect babies that all sleep well.

I find it amusing that there are so many women who want to spread their own misery and low expectations unto others. I have a very tidy, organised home and had a “friend” gleefully say “wait until you have kids, then you’ll know about mess cackle, cackle, cackle”. I like a full face of makeup and keep up with my hair and nail appointments. Also had the “wait until you have kids, you’ll be lucky if you manage to wash your face!” Funnily enough, my home is still tidy and organised and my appearance hasn’t changed. You can add that to my smug roster too.

Being smug that you are finding one aspect of parenting easier than others (or suggesting your baby is "perfect" and implying others aren't) is pretty tasteless.

There are a lot of different aspects of parenting, most of us find some go well and some are more of a struggle.

I’m not smug and I don’t actually think my baby is perfect, I was responding to the previous poster’s mocking tone which I admit I found irritating. I shouldn’t rise to it really.

Oh good for you sweetie, aren't you just the cleverest? Well done poppet!

This thread deserves better than your snide remarks. I’m done engaging with you.

Surely you be busy anyway getting ready for the award ceremony so you can receive your "Better than All the Other Mums" trophy. Have fun.

If he was dry, well, and not hurt or scared of a nightmare, or thirsty. I think probably a tantrum and Id have left him to do some self soothing with regular checks and attempts to soothe.. but while I think that i dont see the point in posting for advice when you just disagree or attempt to prove wrong everyone disagreeing with you.

A bit of light reading:

https://theeverymom.com/how-to-stop-judging-parenting-decisions/

There is no handbook on how to be the perfect parent.

You were terribly wrong. Are there any other instances where your child is an "inconvenience" to you? He is just 2 ffs!! Putting a phone in front of him in the middle of the night is ridiculous too.
You say you have a bed in his room but he is not interested for you to be there? Just be there with him and be present. Or take him downstairs and start the day. You are the adult and the parent!
Tbh I feel sad for your child!

Also, wasn't there something utterly smug about the
"it worked for (almost) everyone who stuck with it"?

Well, yes, obviously the people it didn't work for wouldn't stick with it 🤔

A typical example of the above post on how to make another parent feel less inferior to them.

Next time maybe try some warm milk as may be in growth spurt and hungry. Chrck his nappy and tenperture in case teething or ill.
add a few safe toys maybe to bed.
no way get in habit if him dictating when he goes doenstairs to srart his day.
keep a consistent routine.
its horrible cying but if purely attention seeking it has to be nipped in bud.
i inderstand why you would use your phone but really dont again as evidence is it keps you awake and brain wired.
its not easy handling toddlers. You are doing your best thats all you can do.

This must be a upper class English thing because I could never allow my child to stay crying in a dark room away from me for hours. How awful and cruel. My daughter is 5 and regularly sleeps with me in bed.

She's a single parent

Im not sure upper class? Victorian perhaps!

I think you did fine. Didn't agree to going downstairs at a ridiculous time but did comfort him.
I wouldnt take him in my bed with the phone another time.
Maybe get him one of those clock things that tell him when it's ok to wake up?

I don't judge you for sleeping with your daughter if that's what you want to do. Many mothers would see what you are doing as strange. Has anyone asked if your child is needy and why you choose to let her sleep with you.

Ok I've got 2 kids my DS is almost 18 and my DD is almost 5 so big age gap, that also means the second time round I knew what I was doing more, but I also know how fast time zips along. My boy used to come and just get in bed with me but I've always taking my girl back to bed for instance and sat with her till she's back to sleep.

The times she's woke and not been able to sleep at 4/5am even sometimes now I try getting back to sleep or I do just go down get on the couch with a blanket and put a film on. My reasoning for this is 1) sometimes even you will have nights when you just cannot sleep no matter what you do, and 2) I've come to learn over time that they eventually get to the point of not wanting to even be in the same room as their parents for long, or they growl or grumble instead of speaking when they are teens, so now I just pick my battles and accept the extra snuggles, we all have nights we cannot sleep

Isn’t it lovely when you come on Mumsnet for some much-needed advice because you are at your wits’ end, knackered through sleep-deprivation, and all you want is some kind support from people who understand. You can always rely on a few gems on MN to make you feel like a bad mum, can’t you?

Although it’s undoubtedly distressing, there comes a point where your son needs to learn that night is for sleeping, and provided you are checking on him every now and then, there is no harm done. This age is notorious for kids testing the boundaries. My son did exactly the same at that age. A cuddle, a kiss, and back to bed. He will be absolutely fine.

Or, you can do what some people seem to think makes you a better mum and keep him in bed with you until he’s 9. FFS.

Very judge mental people on here.
You checked him & had the camera, he was fine.
I don’t think what you did was wrong. He needs to learn that night time is sleep time.

Could you play some nursery rhymes or audio story book for him to listen to and fall asleep again?

he wasn't fine, he was crying for 90 minutes. how is that fine?