To be furious at my ‘supposedly’ best friend?

[missblueberrypie]

My ‘’best friend’’ is getting married in a few months. We’ve known each other since primary school and we always had an agreement that when we get married we would have each other as our maid of honours. I kept up my end of the bargain when I married my DWife three years ago. I fully expected that I would receive the same honour but apparently not. I found out that I will be a bridesmaid whilst her sister is the maid of honour. I might be overreacting but I am quite upset and frankly furious. I thought we knew each other better than this and I don’t know if the relationship will ever be the same tbh. I was even more heartbroken when she said that the reason behind this snub is the fact that I am pregnant and would not be able to put 100% effort into wedding planning. What should I do going forward?

1. get your priorities right
2. chill
3. enjoy your pregnancy and “plan” this massive (not one day) event for your new life

@missblueberrypie may I ask how old you are, please?

@HoseGoblin "literally signed my soul away to guy for a coffee and a chupa chups lolly once"

careful, he might start a thread to argue that that's binding!

It’s still her sister. You need to accept her choice and never mention this madness to her. Anyone with any sense would understand why a sister takes precedence over some deal at school. You picked her because you wanted to, don’t make it about some binding big deal and argue your case. Her choice is made and it makes sense. You can plan plenty for your baby!

No OP shouldn’t talk to her friend about it. She must realise by now that she’s being unreasonable.

late twenties, why?

OP - give your head a wobble. YABU and completely ridiculous.

That explains a lot - never had to share 🤔

My best friend was my maid of honour, her sister was her maid of honour and I was a bridesmaid. It's not like she ditched me, she has a sister and I don't. You're overreacting.

She is being totally unreasonable, and I personally wouldn’t talk to my friend if this was me, but I’ve suggested that so that she can get some perspective.

At the moment she seems to be thinking her friend has maliciously prevented her being MoH, where it’s probably more likely that her friend had no choice. If she knows this, she might feel better about it. I didn’t mean interrogate her friend over it 🤣

Her sister was always going to trump you. If we are stuck to primary school promises I'd be married to john O'Farrally by now 😬🤣

Fucking hell. what have I just read?

Mate 🤣🤣

Yep, I was just wondering how I’ll break it to DH that I have to divorce him and try to track down Darren Jones.

I've honestly taught 11 year olds who have shown more maturity.

It's fine to be privately disappointed but if she genuinely means that much to you then you'd bend over backwards to make her wedding day as happy and as stress free as possible. It is not about you. It's not your day. No wedding guest ever remembers who the maid of honor was out of the bridesmaids anyway unless they were at the hen do.

DH and the kids aren't going to take it well when I tell them I'm gonna have to leave DH because I pinky promised John Hodgkiss I was gonna marry him when I was in Y3.

This is what I have been wanting to know.

However many years on from that childhood promise, I bet that if you did have a sister, she is who you would have chosen to have her as your MOH and not your best friend.

I think this is more about you feeling that you have a "sister" in her, but she does not feel the same. As an only child you may not be able to imagine the family fallout that could have occurred should she have chosen somebody over ger sister, Enjoy the wedding for the celebration of marriage that it is and be happy for your friend. it is not about who plays which role.

I don't think you are maid of honour material tbh based on your responses.

Our deal was made in secondary school

It gets better 🤦‍♀️

I think this is a time you meet have a conversation, then hug it out.

Yes, you had a deal, but would you choose never to see her again over this?

She might be getting pressured from other places and think you would be more understanding? Weddings can cause so many issues.

I can understand why you would be hurt, but, you've been friends a long time, don't lose her over a wedding title, and maybe ask to be involved in the planning with the sister? She might be grateful for some help.