Is it controlling to ask someone to stop drinking entirely?

[LostLostLostLost]

DP’s drinking has crossed the line on multiple occasions. I have asked him to stop entirely. He thinks I am being controlling.

AIBU?

Over a year ago.

He won't be able to stop by himself . Also stopping suddenly is v dangerous . He needs to speak to the GP who will point him in the right direction . He ideally needs a detox and rehab but he has to be ready for it . He will need a lot of support , is there anyone who can support him if he decides to dry out .

Why aren't you reporting this to the police, social services and getting a divorce?

He’s not drinking regularly or heavily anymore. The addiction is psychological at this point.

Why aren’t you RTFT 🤦🏻‍♀️

Its not clear from OPs posts if the SC expressing fear is still an issue-I would report him To Children's Services and make sure they know about the SC's disclosure a year ago.That way all the children are protected by being on the radar of Children's Services and schools. You don't need proof to raise a child safeguarding alert, just explain the behaviour, how it makes any children feel and why you are fearful.

I have done that.

The older SC placate him all the time and get rewarded for it, the youngest gets the blame for everything and is punished a lot more. When I’m not around, I know the punishments are more severe. But it’s not like he’s leaving a mark, it’s more roughness and emotional abuse.

Just a comment about how to prove if he's drinking or not. Social services can insist on an alcohol monitoring tag I believe. Someone I know had to wear one - she said it was to monitor alcohol in her sweat. She was told by childrens services if she didn't agree to it she wouldn't be allowed unsupervised access. So there are ways for social services to monitor if there is a suspicion. I'd ask them about this maybe?

That’d be my dream outcome but I suspect the line is quite high and involves convictions / previous incidents