To be surprised nobody helped me?

[Mintybreath]

i was unwell a few months ago and for some reason it suddenly popped into my head the other day

basically I was walking home and suddenly felt extremely unwell- like I knew I was dying. It was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Really awful nausea and palpitations

i was terrified because i felt like i was about to drop dead on the street and i knew I HAD to get home. I don’t actually know why I didn’t even think to call 999, but I just kept thinking I needed to get home. It was 9pm, pitch black and heavily raining. I could barely stand up but forced myself to walk a few steps, and after a few minutes I immediately had to bend down low to try and feel less terrible, then I’d walk a few steps again, then I had to crouch low again. I never collapsed or lost consciousness thankfully but I was violently sick on the street and was visibly not well and in my head I kept thinking I was going to drop dead on the street by myself and I was terrified. It lasted for about 20 minutes and I somehow made it home,

To cut a very long and boring story short, it turns out I actually was unwell, I was in vtach at over 200

It suddenly popped into my head the other day and got me thinking how literally nobody helped. I was walking on the pavement on a main residential road and was visibly unwell- admittedly it was late so not like there were loads of people walking about but I definitely passed people, lots of cars, and a few times I was crouched and struggling to walk right in front of peoples living room windows. I know nobody is obligated to help, but I guess it just surprised me that they didn’t? Is it because they thought I was unwell because of drink/drugs or something and didn’t want to get involved? Or just because it was raining and late at night?

tbh partly my fault because I should have just opened my mouth and called out for help, I don’t really know why I didn’t because I remember thinking please please can someone help me, but I think the palpitations were so awful all I could focus on was GET HOME. Maybe my expectations are a bit off but would others have expected someone to help? Thankfully feeling a lot better now and hopefully I’ll never be in that situation again needless to say!

People assumed you were drunk or on drugs and were practicing self preservation. Probably.

☝️ got it in one. Sorry you were so unwell op.

I think fear puts some people off. I can honestly say I would absolutely helped you had I passed.

Hope you are feeling better

If it was dark maybe no one saw? Especially if you had dark clothing on

You ask for help - loudly. Honestly we live in a world where there are all manner of people walking around with issues we cannot dream of and don’t want to offend. Ask for help and people will. Two nights ago I came across someone on the street and said: “Are you ok? Can I help?” He said: “No thanks love - I’m fine.” I walked away and he called me back and said: “I’m embarrassed - sometimes my back goes.” So I got him up against the wall - called a cab and explained - taxi driver helped walk him in the cab which had high seats. He also still has my tiger balm! Jokes aside - if you need help then please ask for it, most people are lovely, there is no point struggling in silence. Hope you feel better now.

Yeah tbh I was thinking that was the most likely reason!

A reasonable assumption.

Ps, sorry you were so unwell, hopefully a one off.

Ah you’re so right, I honestly don’t know why I didn’t just call out. I just felt so so unwell, all I could think of in my head was KEEP GOING GET HOME. I remember seeing a few runners/dog walkers and silently begging them to help me get home but for some reason didn’t think to actually ask for help? I think I was just too unwell to think straight tbh!

I've been violently ill in the street before. Terrible pain, unable to stand, vomiting, needing to drop to the floor. People tend to be wary as they know they're not medically trained, don't want to wait around with you for an ambulance, or think you're on drugs or pissed.

The only thing someone could really do would be call an ambulance and you could've done that yourself. It's a shame. But that's the way the world is now. People are very insular and self absorbed.

I’m not surprised , I collapsed in a pub once at lunchtime, not drinking, on my way to the toilet, no one came to help me then. I came too, lying on the floor. Had to get myself up and go wobbly on my way. I found that more upsetting than anything else.

It’s really hard to ask people for help - even more so when they are strangers - but the older we get and the farther we go it is the reality. I had this talk over Christmas with my folks - ask for help LOUDLY - and tell them to call me on the phone. Totally get the shame factor and the shock and the wanting to plough on through. But there does come a time when you have to accept that accidents happen and sometimes we all need help that is unanticipated.

Oh yeah definitely, it does get easier as you get older. I think it was more how unwell I was and it was affecting me thinking straight because normally I’d have been fine asking for help, or tbh I’d have just called an ambulance, but it was like my brain was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. Horrible situation!

thats really sad, I hope you’re feeling better now x

Yeah that’s true, and I guess with ambulance waiting times being so long maybe people don’t want to get stuck waiting with someone for hours x

In my small, quiet village, I would ask someone in that state if I could help at all. I probably know them anyway.

I wouldn’t (and haven’t) in larger towns/cities though, particularly when it’s dark and there aren’t many other people about. Even if they were calling out for help, I wouldn’t necessarily stop - especially if they sounded very drunk/mentally unwell. I might call the police/an ambulance for them but I wouldn’t stop.

I'm so sorry op that sounds terrifying. I hope I'd have helped you.

I think it's area based.

I had difficult pregnancies and when heavily pregnant was prone to fainting among other symptoms. I commute across London to work, sometimes taking the Northern line and sometimes the jubilee.

Once I fainted at a particular jubilee line station and came round, alone, on a bench in the station, feeling dreadfully sick. I was visibly hugely pregnant and it was rush hour so people would have seen and not bothered. A week later I fainted in one of those northern line station lifts. Omg everyone was so kind and fussed over me no end. I had literally 6 or 7 people crouching round me, fanning me, one person urging the others to give me space etc. These two places less than half a mile apart but it was definitely a non posh vs posh area

That must have been awful. Did you find out what the underlying cause was?

I’m so sorry you had that experience. It sounds like a full blown panic attack. If so, they are terrifying to go through alone.

I think people are frightened they won’t know what to do having put themselves forward. They hope someone more capable will come along.

I hope you are better now.

I'm sorry OP, I hope your health improves.

If it was dark and heavily raining then my guess would be that people had hoods and umbrellas up and were looking down and just didn't see you.

I’m so sorry op. I’m glad you are safe now. But can you honestly say if the shoe were on the other foot- you were walking your dog or jogging- would YOU have stopped and helped you?

I was once in extreme distress, crying and tattered post mugging/assault, in London Victoria, at 2pm in daylight on a Thursday, and over 500 people walked past me. Many ignored my pleas for help. I actually approached women and asked for help and they shrugged me off and sped up/ ran away. A homeless man eventually helped me. But that day taught me that people are largely selfish/ uncaring/ avoidant.

Doesn’t surprise me in London. You could drop dead on the tube and people would walk round you.

Thank you! Feeling a lot better now. It actually wasn’t a panic attack, but I have heard they are awful to experience too x

it was an attack of vtach that caused it x

People don’t like to be near vomiting so that’s probably why. If you had of seemed unwell in another way they probably would have helped?
I would help someone who had collapsed or fainted but probably not someone being super sick in all honesty.

I am sick alot in the street...
Nobody has ever offered to help me or ask if im ok
People just presume im drunk i think..
I wouldnt wanna be near a stranger being sick to be honest...