To be surprised nobody helped me?

[Mintybreath]

i was unwell a few months ago and for some reason it suddenly popped into my head the other day

basically I was walking home and suddenly felt extremely unwell- like I knew I was dying. It was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Really awful nausea and palpitations

i was terrified because i felt like i was about to drop dead on the street and i knew I HAD to get home. I don’t actually know why I didn’t even think to call 999, but I just kept thinking I needed to get home. It was 9pm, pitch black and heavily raining. I could barely stand up but forced myself to walk a few steps, and after a few minutes I immediately had to bend down low to try and feel less terrible, then I’d walk a few steps again, then I had to crouch low again. I never collapsed or lost consciousness thankfully but I was violently sick on the street and was visibly not well and in my head I kept thinking I was going to drop dead on the street by myself and I was terrified. It lasted for about 20 minutes and I somehow made it home,

To cut a very long and boring story short, it turns out I actually was unwell, I was in vtach at over 200

It suddenly popped into my head the other day and got me thinking how literally nobody helped. I was walking on the pavement on a main residential road and was visibly unwell- admittedly it was late so not like there were loads of people walking about but I definitely passed people, lots of cars, and a few times I was crouched and struggling to walk right in front of peoples living room windows. I know nobody is obligated to help, but I guess it just surprised me that they didn’t? Is it because they thought I was unwell because of drink/drugs or something and didn’t want to get involved? Or just because it was raining and late at night?

tbh partly my fault because I should have just opened my mouth and called out for help, I don’t really know why I didn’t because I remember thinking please please can someone help me, but I think the palpitations were so awful all I could focus on was GET HOME. Maybe my expectations are a bit off but would others have expected someone to help? Thankfully feeling a lot better now and hopefully I’ll never be in that situation again needless to say!

Ventricular tachycardia is a fatal heart rhythm

probably best not to past sarky comments about things you don’t understand x

Do you mean you would physically be sick as well? As im emetophobic but I wouldn't be sick but I also wouldnt go near anyone being sick. I thought most people who are emetophobic resist being sick so im just curious if it makes you sick

Have you been diagnosed with what caused the v tach they saw on the monitors? Panic attacks often have the symptoms you mention alongside very fast heart rates (150-250) and that can cause v tach.

Yeah I have heart problems already. I don’t have panic attacks thankfully I’ve never suffered with that, I didn’t think panic attacks could cause vtach - I know it can cause sinus tachycardia but not ventricular tachycardia but I definitely could be wrong? Either way I don’t have panic attacks it’s to do with my heart unfortunately, but hopefully it won’t happen again! x

I hadn’t actually thought about the fact people would struggle with the vomitting but tbh that makes so much sense- I absolutely cannot stand vomit so I’d probably struggle with helping with that too in fairness!

I remember when I was about 7 ish months pregnant (and was the size of a blue whale) and doing some shopping in town

I suddenly felt really sick,shaky,faint,i could feel the blood rushing around my body and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest

I managed to stagger to the local jobcentre doorway and asked the nearest person for help

They shoved me outside and told me to ring an ambulance from there before walking away

Some woman walked past and said to her mate (loudly) 'look at that!pissed AND pregnant!' before marching away

Not one person stopped to help (one being a nasty bitch who my mother knew-she rang my narcissist mother from over the road to give her second by second updates on what I was doing-i was off my tits on drugs apparently)

I managed to call for an ambulance and got the help I needed but I've never forgotten it

I make a point of asking if someone is ok and getting help if needed (happened once or twice over the years)

My DS has helped someone before. A man lying in the road; obviously drunk.
However, he knows to stand back, and call paramedics/police.
If you go to help, especially if someone was drunk, which could make them belligerent, or disorientated; they could have a knife etc; could accuse you of stealing their wallet/purse, etc.
Obviously, the OP knew she did not have a knife, etc, but someone helping does not know that. It all depends on the circumstances.
So, i'd assume they thought the OP was drunk.

I was in the gym changing room and a woman was audibly having some sort of episode. I really quietly asked her if she needed any assistance and it made her worse - screaming at me she was overwhelmed and needed to be left alone.

Id honestly think twice about offering to help anybody in the future just because I made that worse without obviously meaning to and it made me then think I was in the wrong because she would have sought help if she needed it/ I’d interfered.

Even if not assuming drink/drugs - vomiting could be pregnancy, or just a bug/food poisoning. Either way its not often something that requires an ambulance and also not really much anyone else can do to help except possibly a.drink of water.

Same with people crying - I'd usually leave them alone and give them privacy tbh. I have been offered a tissue when crying before at a.station and it was kind but I didn't want to speak to anyone or explain anything. I've stopped for a girl crying outside Maccies before as she.was in uniform so clearly upset with her boss but generally I leave people be.

The more people who are around generally the less people help as they assume someone more qualified will come along. Once one person stops to help then others often will though if I see 3 or 4 people already helping then I assume theyre being sorted and carry on.

Also if you witness a serious trip or fall then the cause is obvious and its an easier and simpler decision to help than if you see someone slurring words or stumbling.

My college teacher was diabetic but we didnt know. He once had a hypo in class.and was slurring and being quite erratic. We were all a bit scared and unsure what to do. And assumed he was on drugs or something and so partly didn't want to get him into trouble. Eventually one boy went to get the science tech who knew the teacher was diabetic so could quickly sort it with a Mars bar - but I dont know how long we would all have sat there - it took that one person to take the initiative and go and ask for help.

That sounds really scary OP! Glad you're OK now. People are reluctant to help these days I think. It's partly the way we are all raising our kids I think. Tightly knit family groups etc. very insular. People are more afraid of 'strangers' now than they were before the pandemic. If it was 9pm, dark and heavy raining though I guess there weren't tons of pedestrians around to help you? Just motorists? Not a nice situation to be in though. The state of the modern world I think sadly. People are sometimes too polite to get involved too. I picked up a young child that had fallen and banged its head and was screaming at a splash park some years ago (& started looking for the parents, obviously) and the parents snatched the kid from me as if I was a paedophile then shot me filthy looks before they left 🤷‍♀️

From your description it sounds like you might have looked high. People may have been worried to get involved because people on drugs can be a bit unpredictable. It's a shame no one thought to call an ambulance from a distance (though I'm not sure if waiting times would have made that pointless).

What a horrible experience OP, you must have been so scared out there alone and feeling so unwell. I hope you are better now and that this never happens again. I like to think that I would have offered to help you but for context the area I live in has a lot of street drinkers and drug users and you see some sights round here so my response would probably be informed by my environment. So it can depend on where it happened, what people are afraid of and the whole regrettably selfish attitude of not wanting to get involved, Having said that I have helped lone women, I paid a young woman's bus fare once when she did not have the right change and the driver was refusing to let her on, it was late and dark and what's a few quid compared to maybe reading about a woman being attacked on her way home. Me and a friend stopped the car and went to the assistance of a young woman slumped on the pavement and weeping, Turned out she had had a row with her boyfriend but she was so appreciative that we spoke to her. My instinct is to help but it is tempered by wariness sadly

I am sorry you had to experience this, it sounds awful. I hope you have made a full recovery and have seen your GP to prevent this happening again.

I had a similar experience with my DH who due to loss of blood from a dental extraction that was not properly sutured, was in the process of collapsing outside the dentist in broad day light a couple of feet away from a man unlocking his bike. As I was trying to prevent my DH from collapsing with force onto the ground, this man completely ignored us. Holding my husband as he collapsed, in blind panic, I called out to him and said, can you help me?
He then helped me to hold my DH as he collapsed on the ground.
He stayed with him while I ran into the dentists to summon help and and an ambulance was called. As my DH was lying on the ground surrounded by staff from the practice, I thanked the man who said nothing, mounted his bike and road off. I think he thought that my DH was suffering from the effects of drink or drugs! He was still a twat even if this is what he thought!

In the past I would've said definite yes, couldn't even watch TV with people throwing up without gagging, but I also used to fight being sick so much so that bugs would last ages as wouldn't leave my body so quickly. I did recently manage with someone in the same vehicle as me vomiting without me even gagging which I was amazed by, so I may not be sick but would still find it very difficult to get near and assist.

Sorry if TMI for others :)

In my seventies. Mid morning had a mighty trip over a kerb and went headlong. I knew I had broken something and lay still for a long time while I regrouped. No pedestrians about but many many cars passed me lying in the street. Eventually got myself up and went to A and E. Broken ribs and a broken thumb. While I was lying there I was sure someone would come and help me up. I was surprised they did not, especially me being an ole lady and all.

I fainted on the Paris metro a few years back, it was from heat stroke. And I was amazed by the help I received. I wasn’t robbed, people helped me back to my feet and one lady got off the tube, got me a bottle of water and sat with me.
Also I was that one who stopped the metro as they stopped the train and a guide can to assist me.
Luckily it was the Eurostar stop, so they made sure that I reached the terminal OK
I’m still so grateful for all these people and the fact it changed my perception of Paris people.

I was walking down the road with my small DC and I slipped on some wet leaves and fell flat on my face....it was right by a bus stop...a woman was waiting there, she turned round, gave me a dirty look and turned away. People are awful.

I’m so sorry OP- I think with the amount of drugs and looneys out there many people are just really wary these days - I must admit I’m one who always offers help if I see anyone obviously unwell

If you do see someone who looks ill, please ask if you can help. My late DF collapsed in public a few times before he died. Generally people helped, but once he was sick on the bus and everybody ignored him (a man in his 80s, obviously unwell). It was a heart attack. He called an ambulance himself. He and I both treasured all the people who helped him. I always offer help now, although I’m usually not needed. I’m not medically trained, but I know how much the comfort of someone caring means.

I will always, always help. A guy came clean off his motorbike and landed right in front of me some years ago in Central London. I helped him all I could, and also phoned for help. Interestingly, a woman who was standing by and watching said to me "don't be such an attention seeking drama queen, he's fine" (he wasn't). I was gobsmacked and just told her to shut up.

Many other times I have seen pregnant women on the London underground, standing a few seats away from me, while those sitting down bury their faces in their phones. I ALWAYS loudly say "come over here, take my seat!" and they're so bloody grateful that it makes me a bit teary. Then the nose-in-phone people always look up in surprise as if they'd had no idea and hadn't seen the pregnant woman struggling to stay upright.

I also taught my son to help people in need but to proceed with caution. I always remember back in the 80s, my teenage sister trying to help an elderly man who had dropped something. She went to pick it up for him, and was met with a mouthful of the most disgusting, racist abuse (from a bystander, not the elderly man) you have ever heard. This was 1987 and to this day both of us shudder if we recall it.

Even now, I no longer live in London but will always help where I can. An older lady was struggling in Marks and Spencer as the item she wanted was on a higher shelf, and everyone just bustled past her. I stopped and helped and she was so happy.

Sorry that no one helped you OP. I always have done and always will.

someone tried to rob me at the tube station 11 am in the morning, no one paid any attention.

Honestly I think people would have thought you were drunk etc and a vomiting stranger is not something medically untrained people want to be dealing with.

I think people can be kind if they understand the situation, such as someone slipping over and falling. People have come up to help me when I have fallen, even a lady pushing a child in a pushchair came over and asked if I needed help.

even at A & E people thought my friends dh was drunk, he had had a stroke

That is awful. I have had several slip incidents and always been shown concern by passers by. I wonder if it depends where you are. I live in a relatively small place with a slower pace of life.

I well remember a young woman lying on a bench at a tube station, and looking the worse for wear. Another young woman approached her and asked gently whether she was all right.
A loud and angry ‘Fuck off!’ was what she got for her pains.

I suspect this is what puts people off, especially if the person would appear to be drunk.