To be surprised nobody helped me?

[Mintybreath]

i was unwell a few months ago and for some reason it suddenly popped into my head the other day

basically I was walking home and suddenly felt extremely unwell- like I knew I was dying. It was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Really awful nausea and palpitations

i was terrified because i felt like i was about to drop dead on the street and i knew I HAD to get home. I don’t actually know why I didn’t even think to call 999, but I just kept thinking I needed to get home. It was 9pm, pitch black and heavily raining. I could barely stand up but forced myself to walk a few steps, and after a few minutes I immediately had to bend down low to try and feel less terrible, then I’d walk a few steps again, then I had to crouch low again. I never collapsed or lost consciousness thankfully but I was violently sick on the street and was visibly not well and in my head I kept thinking I was going to drop dead on the street by myself and I was terrified. It lasted for about 20 minutes and I somehow made it home,

To cut a very long and boring story short, it turns out I actually was unwell, I was in vtach at over 200

It suddenly popped into my head the other day and got me thinking how literally nobody helped. I was walking on the pavement on a main residential road and was visibly unwell- admittedly it was late so not like there were loads of people walking about but I definitely passed people, lots of cars, and a few times I was crouched and struggling to walk right in front of peoples living room windows. I know nobody is obligated to help, but I guess it just surprised me that they didn’t? Is it because they thought I was unwell because of drink/drugs or something and didn’t want to get involved? Or just because it was raining and late at night?

tbh partly my fault because I should have just opened my mouth and called out for help, I don’t really know why I didn’t because I remember thinking please please can someone help me, but I think the palpitations were so awful all I could focus on was GET HOME. Maybe my expectations are a bit off but would others have expected someone to help? Thankfully feeling a lot better now and hopefully I’ll never be in that situation again needless to say!

Either they thought you were drunk
Or they thought it was a trap.

I was asked to help someone (just to stay while the ither person got help) and my first thought wasn't " oh yes of course" , it was "like hell. I'll be robbed before I can ask what's up"

I had to wait with my car on a fairly busy road as I waited for breakdown. Pulled over out of the way , put the boot up and the hazard lights on. Nobody even wound the window down and asked "are you okay "? I was wearing an NHS white tunic in the middle of the day (I didn't think I looked threatening !)

Though there has been another time an older man asked if I was ok ( I reassured him I had AA cover )

People are scared . Or uncaring

When I saw a woman collapse at the train station she was at the end with no ther people but the platform was busy down my end. I went over with my 6 month old in his pram and she was proper unconscious. I ran back to get help just as my friend and her soldier husband were coming to meet me. They went to check her and I got staff involved. My friends husband checked her bag for medication and a half bottle of vodka was in it
An older couple who had come over to have a nose saw iit and gutted, turned to walk away saying "there's her problem right there, don't bother with her" (or words to that affect). It's like she didn't matter because she may have been drunk. An ambulance came luckily

Unfortunately that is the way so many people are nowadays. When I fell over in the street a couple of years ago (tripped on a slightly raised paving stone) several people swerved around me rather than asking if I was OK. I couldn't get up without help as I have arthritis in my hips and knees. After a couple of minutes of sitting on the pavement a very nice man stopped and helped me up. Similar thing happened to my adult DD a week ago. She slipped on an icy patch coming out of a shop, nearly did the splits. Nobody stopped to help her at all!

I slipped on some black ice and there was a older man passing and he stopped to look at me but offered no help or even asked if I was ok. Managed to stand up and move to pavement and I had hurt my foot/ankle and was visibly limping but still nothing from the man😤😤😤😤😤

Thank for the laugh 😂.

You're really not very bright if you think that to be dying you have to actually die 😂.

You know someone can be actively about to die and can be saved from medical intervention so could indeed feel like they were dying because they are ya fanny

It sounds quite odd behaviour… walking a bit, crouching down, walking again, crouching down. In the dark and rain, likely with your hood up. Honestly it would probably have turned people away from you.

Sometimes intervening in these situations can go wrong for the person wanting to help.

How old are you, OP? I’m surprised you found this out now.

I learnt this lesson aged 19, I was ill standing up in the middle of a train to the point of fainting, no one helped, no one offered a seat. That’s when I realised I need to be able to get help myself.

Not everyone dying, dies.

That’s why it’s called ‘dying’, not ‘dead’.

When your phone battery is going down, what do you call it? Your phone is dying, right?

My old (female) boss was biking home when she found a teenage boy lying in the path. She stopped and called out asking if he was ok and was promptly shoved off her bike by another boy, punched and left on the ground. Police said it was likely a gang initiation. That made me a LOT less likely to help someone who seems ill in the street. Glad you're ok now OP.

I'm so sorry this happened OP.
I agree with other posters, people probably were scared to help for all sorts of reasons.
I fell last year, was bleeding quite a lot and a young man stopped to help but I could see he was really nervous to come near me. This was in daylight in a pedestrian area but he was still very unsure of coming close and left as soon as he could (when I said I was ok). For all I know he might be scared of me making an allegation against him. I did wonder if he thought i could be drunk or on drugs as well. Or scared of something transferred by body fluids. It is quite a risk to stop and help isn't it?

Over the summer a friend of mine became really unwell on a hot day with heatstroke/food poisoning while we were out, and she had to lay down on a bench in a busy square in London whilst being really sick. I was doing my best to look after her whilst also looking after our kids - two 4 year olds, an 18 month and a 4 month old. I was quite surprised that nobody stopped to ask if we were ok because we were all clearly in a sticky situation. As with all the replies here, it seems very common for people just to keep walking. I try to remedy this by always asking people (as long as it seems safe - usually other women) if they are ok and offer whatever help I can. Then at least in some small way I’m helping make things better, and maybe other people around will be encouraged to do the same in the future.

I would assume you were on drugs and stay away. It's really bad now that I think of it but it's normally those who are on drugs whi are bent over and in a pickle in the street. It's a sad reality of society today. Im glad you are better.

I helped someone once. She actually WAS a drunk, but I didn't know that at the time. She didn't smell of booze and I immediately thought diabetic confusion or something. So I helped her. Turned out she was drunk and I couldn't help too much but at least I tried. So many people asked why I helped but I just couldn't leave her, what if she was having a medical episode? My conscious couldn't cope.

So sorry OP, glad you are ok. It doesn't surprise me though. I was knocked over by a guy on a London tube platform early morning rushing to get on. Literally flat on my face. He jumped on the tube, no one stopped to help me up. Tripped over something in the street outside another London station once, fell and broke my arm and two rugby fans actually laughed as they walked past me. Iv helped lots of people over the years, but maybe if I thought they were drunk i wouldn't as drunk people can be unpredictable and violent.

@BillieWiper I was responding to this comment you made
The only thing someone could really do would be call an ambulance and you could've done that yourself.

Ok well then you didn't take that comment in the context of the rest of my post. And totally got the wrong end of the stick.

I don't think I was out for long, fortunately. I still can't fathom how not a single person stopped, even just to stop the children running into the road.

I think you need to read a bit more about that story - it was mostly untrue sensationalism to make a point about bystander apathy! It’s still working!🙄

Yep, I learnt about this case in my psych degree and it's not even bloody true! the story was completely manipulated so they could create the bystander apathy theory: www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2020-09-10/urban-legend-kitty-genovese-38-people

I would say because you didn’t call out for help, or weren’t lying there motionless, they most likely thought you had had too much to drink. In a day and age when you can’t trust any strangers, people are always cautious out of fear.
I hope you feel much better now and I hope you went to the doctor as soon as you were able. Sounds very worrying. If this ever happens again make sure you call out or use your phone. There is an emergency function for situations like this.

It’s sad that no one helped you, but I have never stopped to help a collapsing, vomiting person in the dark. Scared, I guess. But your post made me think about what I would do next time so thank you.

I think people are scared if they see someone who looks to be in an 'able bodied' type of age group suddenly needing help, due to horror stories that you hear where they fake SOS to lure you in so they can do something bad to you. If it's an elderly person, I feel that's a situation you would feel safe to help in and wouldn't give it a second thought. It's just my opinion. If I would have seen you I would have called 999, I would have let others know who were nearby for my own safety and waited until the ambulance came.

This has reminded me, a couple of years ago I was walking home and saw an older gentleman acting very much as you described, but I didn’t say anything. I think shyness, coupled with the assumption that if he needed help he would ask for it… I still feel bad, and resolved to stop and help if I ever see something like that again.

I once collapsed on the metro in central Paris and dozens of people came to my aid. But I think actually collapsing is more dramatic and definitely requires help, as opposed to being sick and walking funny.

Or pregnant.