MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

[Elliee0810]

I am the MOH for my sister for her wedding in May. We are both very close!
After 4 miscarriages I am expecting my miracle baby 6 weeks before the wedding (if baby is overdue this could be 4 weeks).
I have asked my sister if my MIL could look after the baby upstairs in the hotel room the entire day. My sister has said in the past she wouldn’t want the baby to steal the limelight so I thought if baby is “hidden” nearby I can quickly nip up if I’m breastfeeding or if he won’t settle. My sister has absolutely said the baby is not welcome at the wedding (which I understand a tiny bit) or not welcome to stay in a hotel room upstairs being cared for. She said it’s her day and should be all about her and not the baby and that she’d resent me and the baby if he was on the premises. She said she was happy for the baby to stay nearby in another hotel or air bnb but that costs a fortune and the closest one is the 20+ minutes drive away.I don’t think I’ve ever been so hurt or offended in my life. I don’t know what to do. My husband is a groomsman and he’s thinking of not attending the wedding now as the baby will need a parent being so young. Will the baby be okay to be apart for 1-2 days? Will I be okay with this being 4-6 weeks PP? Does anyone have any advice?

My colleague is planning her wedding for 2028, engaged 2025.

My ‘baby’ is 1 and I wouldn’t leave him for 1-2 days. I don’t even like leaving him for a couple of hours still now.
Babes in arms are generally (from my experience) accepted at child free events so it’s odd your sister won’t have her newborn nibling at her wedding. She sounds a bit bridziller though thinking a baby will steal her thunder

I recall being surprised when I discovered that most of the youngsters at my former place of work planned their weddings two years ahead.

When I got married in the '90s, we only planned 6 months ahead. I went shopping for the dress 5 months before - after we had the date and the venue.

In one wedding dress shop, the sales assistant looked pointedly at my stomach and said "Any reason for the rush?"

"I want to get married..."

Once I found out about younger folk planning so far ahead, I understood why she thought it a rush.

Most venues are booked out years in advance so if you want to get married in a particular place you won't have much choice. I think the covid backlog will have made it worse. Also with dresses these days they are made to order so need at least 6 months

Hi op, hope all went well with your pregnancy and your baby’s birth. Just being nosey and wondered what happened with your sister’s wedding?

Just say the arrangement wont work and your stepping down.

Zombie thread. How annoying.

After the first few most weddings had a baby or two there. I met a niece for the first time at another sibling's wedding I flew back for. Except for really close family most people will leave the baby well alone. Most parents will sit at the back and pop out if the baby cries. I hope she grows up, but don't question yourself.

Hardly - it’s a few months old & the actual event was recent. Asking for an update isn’t unusual! Hope you’re ok Op & your sister saw sense in the end.

Your sister sounds like a horrible, self-obsessed, Bridezilla nightmare, sorry. (Not sorry.).

I was only too happy for my elder sister to bring her baby to our wedding.

@Elliee0810

What happened in the end?

Wow I can’t believe how selfish your sister is. You’ve done the right thing. No way can a tiny baby be left!! What is she thinking. You and your hubby will also be exhausted and your own body will be in recovery.

I wouldn't attend. She's entitled to have a child free wedding but she will so have to face it that she cannot come between you and your newborn. Your parents should step in.

@Elliee0810
What's the latest OP?

Thinking of you.

Exactly.
"I’ll update on what ends up happening for anyone who is curious xx"
(OP, in January). The wedding was in May. They never come back.

Your new baby will be relying on you for his survival and no one else can provide that very important love and care other than yourself.

What your sister is expecting from you is completely outragious, you will have a new born to take care of and she wants to seperate you from your new born to make the day about her and this is more than horrendous.

She is mindless and selfish and for this reason, you need to put your baby first due to her attempting to seperate you from your new born at such a critical time. Your babys' survival depends on you, your baby will want you and no one else.

Your sister is cruel and mindless and should be ashamed of herself.

a tad dramatic baby need changing and feeding not clinical life support

Same here