Consultant appointment - we used to date

[Kingcole3]

Received a letter with a consultant appointment for next week. That’s great except the consultant for the appointment is a very old flame! We went on a few dates and slept together a few times about 10 years ago. I’m married now with children, I presume he is as well. Obviously we don’t keep in contact. I can’t really remember how it ended, I think it probably just didn’t go anywhere as were in our early twenties at the time. No idea if he will recognise me as I’ve changed my surname but he will be seeing me with not many clothes on so it definitely feels awkward! AIBU? Would you tell your DH or keep quiet? Make an awkward joke with him or stay silent?

In which case you need to decide what is most important, avoiding any awkwardness or not delaying the procedure?

You could ring his secretary to see how it could be moved. But it will delay your appointment, they’re not going to swap you around with another doctor. The last time I asked if an appointment I’d received that day could be for a later time slot, they’d already moved on by 12 weeks! That just goes to show how fast appointments are given out within a week . I’d just go and get it over with, as you want it dealing with. He won’t be bothered one bit. I’m a professional translator and often come across people from another path, but I just do my job and carry on.

If there is more than one clinician in the team, its should be easy enough to simply swap which clinician sees who. Is not the same as asking to change a time slot. As has been said many times, he will have professional standards and clinical requirements to comply with whether or not he is personally bothered.

You have not taken into account that the OP might turn up and the clinician will refuse to see her. That will have the potential to be both awkward and delaying.

lol at this thread - how many medics does it take to convince Mumsnet posters that an old
flame should not treat their ex? An infinite number apparently…

What have you decided to do @Kingcole3

If you’ve not contacted the secretary yet you could be risking seriously delaying your treatment.

They might not be medics, apparently. 🙄

He's already seen you naked and even been inside you. How could it be awkward?

Ugh 🤢 Because… medical treatment isn’t the same as a sexual relationship - which they’re no longer in.

Well, it would be better to start that 12 week wait sooner rather than later, then. Seeing as he might quite possibly also not wish to treat her.

I had a Registrar that my husband had taught/mentored. It felt hideously wrong because I knew how inept he was. The NHS completely understood that I felt it was a conflict of interest as I'd known him socially.

I've also had a nurse ask if I'm okay with her treating me because she knew me. I was.

I think a Consultant might not feel comfortable treating a patient he's had a sexual relationship with. If you're okay with it, I'd contact his Secretary and check that he's okay with it or let her know that you feel it's a Conflict of Interest as you've known him socially (or intimately!)

The problem was sort of solved for me as I started some antibiotics and had to inform the secretary anyway. So they’ve put my appointment back by a week and it’s with someone different!