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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About my dad’s behaviour at Christmas? Or is this normal for his age?

253 replies

MyFlakyPombear · 11/01/2026 13:43

My dad is early 70s, has never been very active but no significant health issues. My parents downsized, but still wanted to host me, my DH and 2 year old DD at Christmas. Due to distance we stayed 4 nights.

i feel irritated that much all my dad said during the whole visit was how tired he was and he ‘doesn’t know how we do it with DD’. She was full on while we were there, including running in and out of the living room carrying things and playing a drum (which grandparents bought her!), and playing music on a toy. But that was interspersed with quieter reading, drawing etc and also time when we took her out so not constant. I feel my dad made no effort to help us or engage her while we were there, beyond reading her some books. She tripped over his legs at one point because she was running past and he didn’t bother to move them!

AIBU that he could have made a bit more effort and been less negative, given we were there for a short period of time? Or is this just what happens when you’re older?

he wasn’t tired from hosting btw as me, my DH and DM did all that.

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 14/01/2026 07:38

Thechaseison71 · 12/01/2026 11:17

But not everyone can. My mum had arthritis pretty badly at 70 and died at 74

I’m sorry about your mum, but that’s a totally different scenario to the OP, who said that her dad didn’t have any health conditions.

Thechaseison71 · 14/01/2026 09:33

BellissimoGecko · 14/01/2026 07:38

I’m sorry about your mum, but that’s a totally different scenario to the OP, who said that her dad didn’t have any health conditions.

But it was a reply to your Comment saying 70 isnt old, not to the OP

Hibernatingsloth · 14/01/2026 13:34

I think this is less about age and more about hosting two adults and an over excited toddler in limited space for four days and nights over Christmas.
I think many people would find this stressful, and not necessarily just older parents.
OP, you and your family probably just over stayed your welcome by a day or two.
Perhaps next time you should book a hotel nearby, for everyone's sanity.

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