To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

YABU, that is pretty innocent stuff. They are just beginning to test your boundaries and you blew your top. Well done.

It's not great behaviour from them at all, but I would have ensured it stopped immediately and sent them to another room - or stayed there whilst they cleaned it up. I don't condone their behaviour, but I think you overreacted.

This. I'd have sent them home too.

Who wants people with no manners in their home?

I am not that poster but personally as an aunty and godmother, I wouldn’t mind kids doing crafts or baking in my house at all - even if it gets messy. I’d actually love it! My friends have stayed overnight with their kids before and I’ve actually offered to do baking with them.

I do baking and crafts in my house all the time and I doubt they’d be messier than me.

I’d object to the spit water thing mainly because it would gross me out unless they did it outside in the garden and spaced out too.

Otherwise I can see their spit water going on the floor, and maybe each other and the worktops too and maybe someone slipping on it lol

I wouldn’t have started world war 3 over it and definitely wouldn’t have called parents to complain let alone send them home though. But yeah I don’t see it as an indoor activity.

I would have been less than impressed. Firstly at the spit out water all over the floor, then at doing it again when they were asked to stop and lastly at the eye rolling.

I’d possibly have sent them home, probably not but possibly. They’d probably not be invited back.

As a parent I’d be so embarrassed if this was my child and they’d be in trouble for being rude.

We set high expectations on behaviour, it’s non-negotiable.

I would have bollocked them and made them clear it up.

Really? I’m feeling sorry for your DD at this point and don’t expect her to have mates over again, coukd dyiu not have stayed away and just tolerated some water? They weren’t doing shots and vomiting!

Wow 😬

Good luck with the teen years op, my mum was strict like you and I kept my friends, boyfriends etc away. Consequently, my mum had no idea what was going on in my life and I got really good at keeping my mistakes/problems hidden from her.

If you overreact to little non-problems, she's never ever going to risk you finding out about real ones.

As an aside, this game sounds very fun and I'm going to ask DH and DD to play it with me this evening. 😅

Claiming were "devolving as a species" because people have different senses of humour is wild 😂

I would of been happy to see them not on phones or tablets and actually playing a game to be honest! They were having fun and it was only water and in the kitchen! I would have just made sure they cleaned up afterwards and found it quite funny.

Also for your DD I do feel sorry for her because she may worry its going to affect her friendships and be spoken about at school now. It is a delicate age in terms of friendships so im not surprised shes not talking to you it will feel humiliating for her.

I feel bad for your daughter. No, I wouldn’t have sent them home.

I probably wouldn't have sent them home, even if I wanted to. But I would have called them out on their eye rolling and also made to clean it up. It's disrespectful.

ive seen famous people do it online its just a bit of a laugh

think you were ott

Oof, that's going to be hard for your daughter to recover from.

I think you were way too harsh. To me, I'd be weighing up embarrassing my daughter and possibly causing friendship issues versus letting them make a mess with a bit of water and clean it up when they're done.

If my child was sent home from a sleep over for something that's really rather innocuous, I wouldn't be letting her go back to your house ever again and I'd be hesitant to encourage the friendship going forward because I honestly couldn't be arsed with the drama. I hope it was worth it for having some water spat on your floor.

Oh no op. I think you've made a mistake here.
I agree with pp thar shutting the game down, getting them to clear it up and move them on to something else would have been a better option.
I probably wouldn't have had them back either because they were rude and disrespectful, but you over reacted.

So you wouldn't have told these 11 year old children off?

You would've jumped straight to 'get out of my house' instead?

Blimey, North Korea has nothing on some of the posters here.

I’d have made them clear up but not send them home. I would then tell dd they wouldn’t be allowed to stay again for a long time.

You could have at least driven them home, no wonder the parents were pissed off. I’d only expect to go out to collect mine in an emergency.

I mean kids have behaved badly at my house before and I don’t invite them back but I certainly wouldn’t have cancelled the whole thing in those circumstances.

It’s some water on an easily cleaned floor. I wouldn’t have been bothered at all.

"As an aside, this game sounds very fun and I'm going to ask DH and DD to play it with me this evening. 😅"

10/10 can recommend. We've used Insta vids or funny filters 😂

The eye rolling, at that age too. I’m against the majority here and would have sent them home for their rudeness in an adult’s home, not for the mess.

.

Oh God yes, I forgot about the boyfriends.

She'll be far too nervous of her mum's behaviour to bring any of those home either.

OP asked them to stop and clear up. They not only ignored her but rolled their eyes behind her back when she asked a second time.

Well this is a bit of an eye opener for me. How is it just a bit of fun spitting water all over the floor in someone else's house, not stopping and clearing it up when asked to then being rude and disrespectful to the person whose home it is? They're 11 so old enough to have a bit more sense than that. No wonder so many children behave in such an entitled way and do whatever they want.