To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

Not being mutually exclusive was the point I was making.

It’s a bit gross but they weren’t causing damage. It was disrespectful not to stop when you asked though. I wouldn’t have sent them home

We have a divorce going on due to domestic abuse and child abuse from my stbx.
I thought I could i could do no contact mediation with him to avoid courts. 3 years cohabitation and 2.5 years marriage. We have 3 year old daughter. He says I walk away with nothing. This aside. The mediation process has brought back all the pains from abuse and stress I had when I was with him. I feel awful. I can't take it. Am I being unreasonable to stop mediation and just go to court?

But the bullying is not your fathers fault, is it. Its bad behaviour of troubled children that should have been addressed.

The expectation of letting children behave badly because adults are afraid of the children being nasty to each other if we stop them is really worrying, especially as so many PPs on here seem to be in this camp.

DD seems so far to have been fine at school, a couple of girls have made snide comments, these are ones who are more friendly with one of the girls from the sleepover. DH did see the mum of one of the girls yesterday and she was quite apologetic again, saying her DD is usually better behaved and always does as she's told. Tbf, DD has been friends with her for years now and she is always well behaved and polite, been here for a few sleepovers and never any trouble. DD is going over to hers today after school so im hopeful that things are still good between them

You are in for a ride during the teenage years OP.

I already have a teenager who has been school refusing, expressed suicidal thoughts, had camhs intervention and lost their shit trashing their room in the process so trust me, this ain't my first rodeo but thanks for the input anyway

I’m sorry to hear that op. It must be very difficult.

Thanks, I think he's coming out the other side of it but its been a tough few years

I can imagine , a very tough few years OP I’m sure 😟
I’m glad to hear he’s coming out other side though 🤞.
That’s good that there doesn’t seem to be any repercussions for your dd since sleepover, & she is off to her friends this evening.😊

It’ll all blow over, including the snide comments. Lessons learnt from all sides.

But they continued doing it after OP asked them to stop.

Despite what other posts have said, this sounds like a pretty disgusting game to me. I would have nipped it in the bud straight away too and made them clean up. Well done for sending them home too. Rolling their eyes and sniggering shows a complete lack of respect. And as for the mother that was funny with you - shame she didn't bring up her daughter better. Probably why she behaved that way in the first place.