To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

They were rude but I would not have sent them home. Your poor daughter. She must be mortified.

I mean, that's what cleaning supplies are for.

You told them to stop, they didn't.
You told them to stop again, you got eye rolls.

If you don't behave or friends can't behave, you don't have sleepovers.

YANBU.

I don’t think it was an overreaction - they were asked to stop playing a game that was making a lot of mess (I wouldn’t have been allowed to play this kind of game as a kid) and ignored a reasonable request from the adult in charge. The only thing I might have done differently is on the 2nd time playing the game I would have warned them that if they didn’t stop immediately they would be going home if they didn’t stop the game and failed to follow the house rules and my instructions. Then 3rd strike … call the parents.

No - she told them once, they ignored her, and when she told them again, they rolled their eyes at her and she sent them home.

This is the hill you want to die on?

I dread to think how will you react in a couple of years when there are serious issues to contend with.

"I’m by no means uptight"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No I wouldn’t have sent them home. I just wouldn’t have them again. It must have been really embarrassing for your dd.

FFS, it was only a bit of water. They could have been asked to put a towel down, and tidy up when they were finished.

I’d roll my eyes at someone being to uptight and unreasonable. And then sending them home? How mortifying for an 11 year old to have people at school talking about what a knob their mum is.

Best to have left them to it, or possibly joined them for a round rather than your bloody tantrum with a group of kids who weren’t hurting anyone, and were having harmless fun.

It’s illuminating to see who on here has proudly “raised” the kind of children who would spit all over the floor of a house they are a guest in. And then be rude when asked twice to stop.

I too think it’s an over reaction.
I would not have cancelled the sleep over for that.

@FrangipaniBlue 😮

I wouldn’t have sent them home but I would have had stern words with my child the next day and told her no more sleepovers if she felt this lack of respect was considered acceptable. I’d have found the spitting the water into my crockery very off putting.

I wouldn’t have dreamt of behaving like that at a friend’s house in my day.

Did you never follow stupid trends as a child?

This is a popular social media game, it's not something they've just made up to be disgusting.

Haven’t RTFT but this is a well known ‘trend’ that they were clearly copying. I think it was really OTT to send the kids home and I’m not surprised one of the parents was pissed off with you, you probably ruined their plans. Your dd must have been mortified too. It’s a bit of water, it would have mopped up. I probably would have been unimpressed but I wouldn’t have ruined my kids evening over it.

I would expect my kid at least to have stopped if I asked however...I would never have asked them to stop playing a game like that. Unless they were hanging their heads over something that could be damaged with water I can't see why they couldn't carry on. I don't mean to make a big deal but you've definitely made sure that your DD will remember the night for a long time. And not in a good way.

Not in someone else’s house. In my day you were extremely polite to the parents of your friend.

Well as ever on Mumsnet it just goes to show that there are huge polarities in terms of parenting. I am with the majority - not because it was ideal behaviour but as plenty of posters with older teens are thinking longer term and how comfortable your DD is going to be as she gets older inviting friends over or sharing less than ideal situations with you if this is the reaction she gets from water on the floor and some eye rolling.

Your dd is probably dying from embarrassment, nobody will want to sleepover at yours again. It was only water. Keep a eye on her as she might get bullied for this.

Dear god you will forever be that parent now
Don't think other kids and parents won't hear about this you might not care but what if it cause teasing or breakdown of your dds friendships with these girls
Over a bit of water which doesn't sound like you have them a chance to deal with
Not surprised your daughter is not speaking to you.

My bad - I forgot MN was full of adults who always behaved perfectly as 11 year olds

It's a cold-hearted person who would see 3 children upset about the sleepover coming to an abrupt end, over something like this, rather than actually putting a stop to it and the eye-rolling.

The OP sounds very hot-headed.

Probably another reason why none of her daughter's friends will ever be allowed to stay at her house.

Senior school is different to primary in that most parents don't do pick up/drop off, so don't get to actually know their DC's friend's parents.

They'll often only hear what others have to say about them.

YABU to of sent your dd friends home bit of an over reaction...they're kids having fun..the second time I would of just told them to leave clean up the floor handed them kitchen roll and hushed them out the kitchen in a nice way but thats me... wouldn't embarrass my kids by sending their friends home 🤷‍♀️

The posts from people acting as though kids eye-rolling and spilling water are akin to war crimes are actually insane!

Is it ideal? Of course not. But sometimes we have to pick our battles and on balance, this was a minor issue that could result in very uncomfortable consequences for OP's daughter at an age when friendship dynamics are already tricky.

People need to really take a step back and use a bit of sensible thinking here. Miss Manners wouldn't have approved of that behaviour but the punishment absolutely doesn't fit the crime and now OP's daughter is sad, embarrassed and will possibly have to navigate some tricky social situations because a grown woman threw a tantrum over some pre-teen eye-rolling and innocent behaviour.