To want to stay home.

[inthecornersofmymind]

Every Saturday, I usually take the boys out for the day, but today is very cold and I'm not in the mood for it.

They have many things to enjoy in the house. Our 10-year-old is fine with being at home, but our 4-year-old isn't. He is by the door with his coat and shoes on, in tears.

I suggested that he play outside in the garden, but he refuses; he wants to go outside instead. I asked him if he wanted to bake, but as I suggest more activities, the more upset he gets. So I’ve just left him at the door.

My Husband isn’t bothered that he is crying at the door and has told me to leave him alone, I still feel a sense of guilt.

I'm considering taking him out for an hour or two to get some fresh air; however, the problem is that he loves being outside.

As soon as it's time to come back inside, he will refuse, and if I don't have a grip on his hand, he'll run down the street. I find myself having to offer him a bribe to get him inside, which I have been trying to put an end to.

Today, I really want to steer clear of any stress and just want to relax.

Am I being unfair to our child by not feeling up to going outside?

Why is this your problem? Get your husband to take him out instead of opting out of parenting. You don’t have to do everything yourself.

I do think young boys are a bit like dogs. They need walking once a day minimum.
Otherwise, they turn funny

Surely being cooped up indoors with an overactive 4 year old is more stressful? Doesn't sound at all relaxing to me.

I'd go out for a couple of hours and then home.

YANBU. He has a garden outside which he can amuse himself in. If he chooses not to, that’s up to him.

Agree with this but not even just young boys, young children in general and some people! My daughter is a toddler and a full day inside would also make her go a bit crazy, I’m an adult and need some fresh air every day too I think some of us are just like this!

YABU - everyone shouldn’t have to stay in all day, go out for an hour or something.

can’t see why their dad can’t take them though.

You are the parent and you’ve told him he’s not going out end of .

Don’t feel guilty sounds like you do lots with your DC. You have offered the garden as an alternative.
There will be times when plans change due to illness or the weather.
If you take him anyway because he’s protesting he’s just learning that it’s a good way to get what he wants.

Sorry darling, Mummy is really busy, ask Daddy to take you out.

^^ This! Ask your dh to take him out for some physical exercise for two hours and not to take any nonsense about coming home. You should be a team! Why is it solely your responsibility? Is your dh usually this unsupportive?

Failing that, take him out yourself, set your phone alarm, and tell him that if he protests about coming home you won’t be going out tomorrow. I understand you wanting a bit of down time at home but it’s probably easier in the long run to let him go out and run off some energy.

Third suggestion: give him a large cardboard box, an old duvet cover, and old sheets and show him how to make a den.

Don’t just leave the kid screaming at the door!

I get it thoufh op, it’s really hard at weekends when you are tired and when the dc haven’t got the memo 💐. Make sure you plan something for yourself tonight that you enjoy once your ds is in bed.

You've taken your kids out all day Saturday on your own for years? And he has never missed a Saturday?

Where has your husband been! I feel some context is missing here.

I think the debate on whether taking kids out or not isn’t the point here, you’ve told him no we’re not going so he needs to deal with it. He has the garden to play in.

The only person wanting to leave the house is our 4-year-old. My husband doesn’t like cold weather, so he taking him is not an option.

Normally, I would have given in to him, but I really don't want to face the stress today.

You don’t need to take children out all day every Saturday.
Why not get your DH to take him out to the playground later on, or play with a ball in the garden for a bit.
You need to work on his behaviour though, a 4 year old is old enough to know he can’t run away and have his own way all the time. He needs consequences not bribery.

Sorry but I remember my parents putting me in the garden on my own as a four year old in winter. I was fairly self contained and loved making mud pies but even I found it quite boring and cold.

When he isn't with me on a Saturday, he is with his grandmother.

My husband does not come with us on outings; I go with friends instead.

We don't have any plans for this weekend because the boys just went back to school and given the weather conditions.

Sorry - your husband doesn’t like cold weather so that’s not an option?!
this sounds very selfish when you take them every other weekend.

Tell your husband to stop being a wet blanket & take the 4 year old out. Doesnt like cold weather? Sounds like a piss poor excuse not to spend time with his kid.

What have I just read? He doesn't like cold weather so "it's not an option" that his father takes him?
I don't like playgrounds, soft plays, shopping - yet somehow I pull myself together and do what needs to be done.

You've got a husband problem, not a son problem. Tell him to start pulling his weight. Why are you putting up with this?

This. If my kids were wailing at the door because I'd told them no for once I'd be telling them to stop being so daft.

Why does the father of your children get to opt out of parenting?

I’m not a fan of cold weather either but I still have to get on with family life and go to work.

I am working on his behaviour; I must admit that he can be quite naughty, but he behaves the opposite at pre-school.

I just need some support, but it’s not there at the moment.

OP has suggested he's been offered garden time. Maybe OP just needs a rest, irrespective of their DPs Incapabilities.

If it is something you do every Saturday I can imagine he’s a bit cross and confused that it isn’t happening. I’d layer up and get everyone out for a bit. Husband has to stop opting out of family life.