To want to stay home.

[inthecornersofmymind]

Every Saturday, I usually take the boys out for the day, but today is very cold and I'm not in the mood for it.

They have many things to enjoy in the house. Our 10-year-old is fine with being at home, but our 4-year-old isn't. He is by the door with his coat and shoes on, in tears.

I suggested that he play outside in the garden, but he refuses; he wants to go outside instead. I asked him if he wanted to bake, but as I suggest more activities, the more upset he gets. So I’ve just left him at the door.

My Husband isn’t bothered that he is crying at the door and has told me to leave him alone, I still feel a sense of guilt.

I'm considering taking him out for an hour or two to get some fresh air; however, the problem is that he loves being outside.

As soon as it's time to come back inside, he will refuse, and if I don't have a grip on his hand, he'll run down the street. I find myself having to offer him a bribe to get him inside, which I have been trying to put an end to.

Today, I really want to steer clear of any stress and just want to relax.

Am I being unfair to our child by not feeling up to going outside?

Mummy doesn't want to today

Is also acceptable

Parenting does not mean taking a child out every single Saturday

However, your DH not liking crowds doesn't mean he can't go out

I doubt anywhere is crowded at the minute

There’s no reason your DH can’t take them out for a walk though, that’s not crowded. Not many people like cold weather but we live in the UK so just have to get on with it in winter.
Do you have a playground or open space nearby?
Does DH ever take them out alone?

The garden is outside and it exists for children to run around in when parents needs time at home

You seriously think time alone in a winter garden is OK for a 4 year old`? What can he do there by himself?
Tell your lazy arse husband to stop thinking of himself and take DS out. If he really can't take him to the park or for a walk because he's so wet, he could take him to soft play or swimming or any number of indoor alternatives.
Young children need daily exercise.

My husband doesn’t like cold weather, so he taking him is not an option.

I don't like another person in the room every time I go to the toilet but as parents we don"t always get our preference.

Tell him to grow up.

No they don't!

There are countless children who don't go out weekly let alone daily

Yes, take them out when you can, but this constant amusing of children is a comparatively new thing and they can survive by learning to amuse themselves

It does feel like he needs to learn to be able to entertain himself a bit more. I think going out every Saturday for the rest of his childhood is going to be exhausting.

Depends where you are surely.

I've been at the farm and it's -1.5. I'm freezing and I'm not leaving the house again today!

I'm sorry, but your husband sounds absolutely pathetic.

😂

Going outdoors for some of every single Saturday? How ghastly.

I mean, seriously? I get that a disaproportionate number of Mners seem to struggle with low energy and want to stay glued to the sofa other than for weird bursts of cleaning, but a four year old wanting to go outdoors at some point on a Saturday is hardly asking for much.

I think it's absolutely fine for a 4yo to be outside in their own garden alone! Especially as the OP says they have plenty of stuff outside to play with. I'm often inside doing housework or other jobs whilst the kids are in the garden on the climbing frame or trampoline by themselves.

As long as you can see and hear them what's the issue. It does kids no good to be followed around constantly by parents.

Your husband and son both sound autistic to me. Yes, I know I’ll get monstered for saying this.

You seriously think time alone in a winter garden is OK for a 4 year old`? What can he do there by himself?

Why wouldn't it be okay? Unless the garden is full of hidden dangers, a 4yo should be more than capable of entertaining themselves.

I think you've got some odd ideas about what 'out' means. From what the OP says, this child simply likes being outdoors. 'Out' may mean a walk in the woods, a go on his scooter around the block or a trip to the local playground. He's not demanding theme park trips, a drive to a distant beach or, as far as I can see, to be 'amused' in any way.

Though I'm not surprised the OP is a bit sick of being the only parent who ever leaves the house with the children. That's hardly the four year old's problem, though.

It’s been -2 here and I still went out. How do you think people in Scandinavia and Alaska cope?

If it’s really cold you don’t have to go out for that long. A 4 year old is fairly small and would only 30 mins to runaround and blow off steam.

I’ve never understood this compulsion to want to stay in with children and not get them outside engaging with the world. There was a thread a few months ago with people seemingly proudly declaring that their children barely leave the house in the summer holidays. Bizarre.

I’m on your 4 year-old’s side - some time outside every day is essential.

So I would take him out under normal circumstances especially if it’s part of his routine and he looks forward to it. Even if it’s just a 20 min stole to see some ducks etc. But I absolutely would not let him play up, run off etc, the first time he did that we’d be straight home, every time.

😂

Who cares if your husband doesn't like cold weather? Tell him to stick on a coat and take his child out, what rubbish.

I don’t like the cold, or busy places. Still had to take my kids out though, cause I’m parent. Your husband is awful.

Daddy doesn’t want to, ever is not acceptable.

Hat,scarf,gloves,warm socks. That's not that cold

Our 4-year-old attends Montessori nursery for five full days each week and has been there for the last two years. I think that if they had any concerns about his development, they would have informed me.