To want to stay home.

[inthecornersofmymind]

Every Saturday, I usually take the boys out for the day, but today is very cold and I'm not in the mood for it.

They have many things to enjoy in the house. Our 10-year-old is fine with being at home, but our 4-year-old isn't. He is by the door with his coat and shoes on, in tears.

I suggested that he play outside in the garden, but he refuses; he wants to go outside instead. I asked him if he wanted to bake, but as I suggest more activities, the more upset he gets. So I’ve just left him at the door.

My Husband isn’t bothered that he is crying at the door and has told me to leave him alone, I still feel a sense of guilt.

I'm considering taking him out for an hour or two to get some fresh air; however, the problem is that he loves being outside.

As soon as it's time to come back inside, he will refuse, and if I don't have a grip on his hand, he'll run down the street. I find myself having to offer him a bribe to get him inside, which I have been trying to put an end to.

Today, I really want to steer clear of any stress and just want to relax.

Am I being unfair to our child by not feeling up to going outside?

DS not going out IS a one off though.

And if OP is happy with the division of labour in her household then leave her be.

You’re the parent, stop being wet, if you’ve said no, stick to it otherwise he’ll run rings around you, which he already does if you have to bribe him to go home.

I think you're missing the point, but okay.

Your dh sounds like an arse. Letting dc have exercise and appropriate stimulation isn't an optional part of parenting. Does he not have to feed your dc or put them to bed if he doesn't like those activities either? He has a literal legal obligation to meet his dc's needs.

Frankly, I think you either need to take him for a walk or help him to get engaged playing in the garden. Not going out isn't unreasonable, but expecting a 4yo to cope alone with a change in routine and a loss of something that's important to him alone is unreasonable. Help him to manage his feelings and get involved in something else. Races in the garden? An obstacle course? Building something?

Though tbh I'd be furious if my partner didn't contribute fairly to childcare. You should obviously be able to have a Saturday off.

For goodness sake, you've got a toddler. They need to be walked at least once a day. I've got a spaniel- very similar needs. Why did you have children if you don't want to exercise them? Applies to your DH as well, of course.

The child needs to learn to do things he doesn't like, too - like staying at home occasionally.

If you buy a dog from a responsible breeder or rehome from a responsible charity: you have to commit to feeding and walking it.

If you only committed to feeding it, you wouldn’t be going home with a dog.

Not walking a dog is not a defensible position for a responsible pet owner.

It is an everyday issue for DH as he never walks the dog. And that puts a lot of pressure on OP who is allowed a day off.

Is she happy or resigned? They’re not the same thing.

The reason people are mentioning your DH is that you have made it sound like he opts out of anything that involves the slightest bit of effort or discomfort, leaving you to manage it all.

Do you get to say I don't like cooktops... So he must do all the cooking?
Washers scare me, you do the washing.
Oh no, I prefer not to get out of bed until 8:30, DH, you do it..

Doesn't like going places where there are people so can't go on outings, doesn't like cold so you do all the weekend outings with your shared children? Nearly as bad.
Unless you have your similar things you get to prefer your way into him doing, he's taking the piss.

Agreed. Children need to learn give and take as well, and that the needs of others matter as well. Parents are not robots, and Op takes her dcs out a lot, time for a rest day.

It's ONE Saturday at home with access to a garden and I'm assuming new toys from Christmas. He'll be fine, it's not like having to walk a dog, for God's sake!

Have none of you EVER had to stay at home with the kids? I know I have! They all survived to adulthood with no adverse effects.

I feel sorry for your children if your DH is never going to do anything with them. How ridiculous. He needs to get some help

Exactly, people comparing children to dogs...only on MN do I see this.

Even my teenager is still like this 😂 We have to get out every day even if it’s just a walk in the woods. Boys are like dogs - love, food, exercise and they’re good to go ❤️

But DH never wants to take the children out. He never goes with them on family days out
I don't think that's reasonable behaviour for a parent. We all have to do things we don't particularly enjoy when we have children.
And I don't think it's unreasonable for a four year year old to want to go out. Especially if he is used to going out every Saturday. He has probably been looking forward to it all week so if course he is disappointed

She didn't say that!

In fact she said quite the opposite, that he's really hands on and engages well with them.

Only if it's inside the house?

Mine isn't like that

Only on Mumsnet is it child abuse to want to stay in for one saturday.

Honestly, the central hearing must be making them doolally!

I'd like to hear some example of this though.
I suspect there aren't many.
Has he suggested playing with his son, in the house or garden?
He must be very used to having Saturday afternoons to himself.

Mine aren't, thank God! My children known flexibility and adaptation to circumstances is just par for the course.

Even my ND young adult son knew rigid routine while ideal wasn't always possible. And my daughter likes food and exercise as much as her male siblings?

I’m sure you’ve sorted the issue by now, but I would leave him too. They eventually give up when they realise they’re not getting any attention.

The kid or the husband? I’d leave the husband 😂