To feel a bit annoyed that my DD is no longer vegan?

[stallionsun]

DD is 22, left home in October and moved in with her boyfriend.

She decided to become vegetarian at 8yo and at 12yo she decided to be vegan.

For 10 years I bought and cooked vegan food for her as she stressed it was so important to her. She knew what extra work and expense this was, having to cook separate meals every night, and the extra expense on my shopping bill.

She was away in her boyfriend's home country for Christmas and New Year, and we are only getting to see her now and they are coming over for dinner on Friday night.

I said I'd seen a lovely vegan recipe to make for her and she said "oh, don't worry mum, I'm not vegan any more, it was just too much faff to make a vegan meal every night, and it costs so much more"

Too much faff and costs more? you don't say?

AIBU to be irritated that she happily let me put in the effort for her to be vegan for 10 years which was apparently so important to her but the second she moves out, she ditches he beliefs because it's too hard for her?

I get on brilliantly in life, so indeed, don't presume or assume.
And if you're not vegan then you must wrestle with daily self-hatred whenever you eat anything.

Veganism is a brilliant choice from a climate perspective. All those years, you made such a positive contribution, managing your daughter's carbon footprint -that in itself is a wonderful parenting legacy, and I, for one, am grateful for the effort you made, as it benefits all of us

I would be proud of her for not being one of those irritating vegans anymore.

It must be annoying to hear alright. If you think about it though she was quite young and still growing when she decided to become vegetarian/vegan really. I doubt putting anyone out was intentional. She probably even thinking in those terms. She will probably realise the effort you went to as she gets older. I would be more concerned that she abandoned being vegan so quickly after so long. As long as it's nothing to do with the guy she's with and it's something she wants to do herself!

You are assuming again...I never said I ate meat either . Do you actually know what being a vegan entails?....

Who cares at this point, this is so dull.

Yes you are i agree. Goodnight

My youngest became vegetarian when he was 11. I could have refused to make him vegetarian meals, but I was mindful of being disrespectful of his wishes. To be honest, I thought it would be a passing fad, but it wasn’t, and he even turned down jelly sweets containing gelatine when they were the only sweets available. Fifteen years later, he’s still vegetarian. My oldest has been vegetarian, vegan and pescatarian and is now at the pork pie end of meat eating.

Biggest mistake is feeling you have to make separate meals for vegans or vegetarians. You don’t. Meat eaters can eat them too, you know. And vegetables and pulses won’t break the bank.

I wouldn’t be pissed off with my DD for not being vegan. Sounds like you should be relieved. But is there really not a vegan meal you like? Chips and beans?

Veganism just isn't trendy anymore I've lost count of the vegan people I know who've gone back to eating meat in the past year or so. It's all about protein now.

All figures/stats I’ve seen say veganism is increasing. I’m involved with a vegan charity, our numbers are increasing and we have more interest than ever before. 🌱

Kids tend to care about the environment and animals more than adults imo. Then they grow up and lose that idealism that they can change the world for the better, give up all their morals and turn into selfish adults. The worst one is the former childfree's who suddenly decided it'd be nice to have a mini-me after all. Can't stand flakey people who change their minds on major issues. Been veggie since I was 17 and never wavered.

I agree with the posters who have said this sudden change could be a red flag for control and abuse, so if this thread is real and not just to get the meat eaters frothing about veganism, I would be very worried for my child in OPs position.
it wouldn’t be the first time that a thread was created with insincere intentions though.

Well, it’s on you for cooking her food and paying for it all between the ages of 18-22! Maybe she would’ve learnt sooner if you hadn’t have taken responsibility for her diet as an adult. She only learnt this lesson when she left home, and it’s perfectly reasonable for her to change her mind once she understood the work and cost behind it. How was she really supposed to understand if you just did it all for her before?

On mumsnet, lots of posters seem to know vegans who can’t wait to snaffle bacon sandwiches and vegetarians who eat chicken any chance they get. Often if you look at their posting history, it’s very telling. 😉

Imo you're NOT being unreasonable, OP. It seems like she has become infatuated with her new boyfriend, he made a negative comment about her being vegan, and then she gave it up because of that. Principles can sometimes disappear when men are involved, sadly. Hopefully she made the decision herself and not under pressure from her boyfriend or boyfriend's family though.

I'm a vegetarian, so I eat eggs and dairy, and I have been since I was a teen, but I've always been very grateful that my family were accepting and accommodating. Thank you for being accommodating and thoughtful when DD was a vegetarian/vegan ❤

You haven't mentioned anything about her turning to vegetarianism at 8 or vegan at 12. Where did she get the idea? I don't think you have commented a single time on these 9 pages of comments so I don't suppose you will answer but I think it's very useful information, don't you?

My daughter went veggie at age 8 and then vegan in her 20's and I've duly cooked her vegan food every time they visit, usually vegetable curries which she loves. I'm not sure that I find vege curries more expensive than meaty ones. But, if she announced tomorrow that she was no longer vegan I'd ask a few questions about what she is going to eat or not eat and take it from there. I certainly wouldn't be annoyed about meals in the past! She's not doing it to annoy you! It is what it is, you just need to adapt, get on board and find out what she's happy eating. Good luck! It's going to be easier going forward!

More fool you! Why on earth did you ever countenance cooking more than one type of family meal in the first place? My children were firmly told that they had two choices - eat it or don't - and that any dietary pickiness could wait until they were old enough to run their own households. I despair of women who produce several different meals for family members every day - as if cooking wasn't hateful and repetitive enough in the first place! I can understand that you feel miffed, but it is your own fault for pandering to your daughter in the first place.

People change. Kids grow up. Let it go. Nice work btw on all the effort you made for her to go vegan when younger. You sound like a caring mum.

Good, I'm vegan myself but nobody else who went vegan in the past decade that I know and there were a few are still vegan.

@HappyKeenLimeOrcaLilacGoose She became infatuated with being vegan! Obviously it’s her personality!

So, yes. Why cook two family meals when one vegan or vegetarian meal can be enjoyed by everyone. That was our approach. And on the whole, it’s cheaper too.

Oh come on! The words 'enjoyed', 'vegan' and 'vegetarian' simply aren't compatible!

What a pathetic response

How ridiculous of you.