To feel a bit annoyed that my DD is no longer vegan?

[stallionsun]

DD is 22, left home in October and moved in with her boyfriend.

She decided to become vegetarian at 8yo and at 12yo she decided to be vegan.

For 10 years I bought and cooked vegan food for her as she stressed it was so important to her. She knew what extra work and expense this was, having to cook separate meals every night, and the extra expense on my shopping bill.

She was away in her boyfriend's home country for Christmas and New Year, and we are only getting to see her now and they are coming over for dinner on Friday night.

I said I'd seen a lovely vegan recipe to make for her and she said "oh, don't worry mum, I'm not vegan any more, it was just too much faff to make a vegan meal every night, and it costs so much more"

Too much faff and costs more? you don't say?

AIBU to be irritated that she happily let me put in the effort for her to be vegan for 10 years which was apparently so important to her but the second she moves out, she ditches he beliefs because it's too hard for her?

lol - my female cousins are vegetarian for faith reasons so always accommoda

Turns out they eat chicken when out with non faith boyfriends🙄 but they wouldn’t eat chicken if I made it.🤣

Lots of people hear ‘vegan’ and get defensive. Their need to tell everyone how terrible being vegan is, means that they completely miss that any sudden change in behaviour and principles when with a new partner/moving in with a partner, can be a huge red flag for abuse. I would be very concerned if this was my daughter.

Haha, my son said to me the other day how rapidly he came to understand about bills etc when he left home. He returned briefly when I came out of hospital & he was between flats. He meticulously turned everything off & could cook basic nutritious meals! I myself took to cooking vegetarian meals & the veggie shepherd's pie & lasagne still go down well. I also like cooking vegan food too. But, in my house, it's all for one & one for all. Anyone who who wanted to be exclusively beggie or vegan would be learning to cook it themselves!

I went vegetarian at 12, still am in my mid thirties. My parents were very supportive in that they cooked vegy options of their main meal a few times a week but the trade off was I learnt to cook my own and for the family too and that it wasn't often fake meat it was beans/lentils/nuts and so on to keep the cost down. Obviously it's too late to take that approach now and I think you did amazingly well at being so supportive for so long. I think you maybe need to tell her how you feel, not on a snarky way but just in a, yeah I know how much more work and how expensive it is sort of way.

This is absolutely not true.

Diet effects every single cell in your body.

I dont blame her. I couldnt live without steak! Well worth the money but im lucky and get it for free

@Wynter25 I have never had a steak in my life but I’m not keen on the smell. My children eat plant based when my DH is away but they can try meat when he has it- my two year old adores a rare steak and a chicken drumstick. I’m not sure how I made a little caveman.

Yes and it would be better not to be born than endure the cruel life. Don't you understand they are solely bred for consumption,have o quality of life force fed, pumped with hormones and terrified as they go to ther death. I've visited a slaughterhouse for building surveying purposes and have never eaten meat since. Please think of these poor creatures. It's heartbreaking

You are deluded if you believe that. Those poor creatures .

Have you heard of rickets?

Okay we can stop culling them and let them die of starvation, causing massive environmental damage in the process. By vegan logic this is the kind option.

I understand you being pissed off but I wouldn’t have fannied around making her separate meals for years. She’d have had to cook for herself.

Back in the dark ages my mother was happy for me to become vegetarian at 15, provided I decided on my own meals and prepared them. I think this would have been a good compromise for you, though it's not what I did when my own DD went vegan. She was at university by then, so her diet only had to be accommodated in the holidays. Pain in the arse, though, and yes, a lot of extra work. I judged it as marginal on the mess front.
I don't see her changing her mind about it, and if she did, I would probably just be relieved not to have to do it any more when she visits.

We can stop actively breeding them for food ..we breed millions . There is a way forward but you just don't want to educate yourself.

Red deer don't have any natural predators left. If we don't cull them, they'll overbreed and starve. As it is they make it difficult to re-establish native forests.
It isn't me that requires education on the subject.

Are you aware there are other animals eaten apart from deer Deer is a small percentage of meat consumed. Go educate

I was talking about the venison box I will be collecting on Saturday though...

I would be annoyed too that her values suddenly mean so little to her.
But….. she should have been cooking a lot more and shopping for her own food before she ever left home.

Next time you visit you should request a vegan meal. It’s only fair that she repays all your efforts over the years.

Swift bullet...unfortunately it's doesn't work that way

It's a far larger subject than your box of venison....sigh....

I actually live somewhere where this is an autumn reality, and grew up around hunters, so I don't need a vegan to tell me how they think it all works.

Free? How?

I never said I was vegan. And I do know how it works , too well , due to my rural living....so don't presume or assume and you will get on better in life

Kids are just easily led and this proves it. She persuaded you and you got on with shopping and cooking for her. I’d have had a much deeper discussion at the time. I bet the boyfriend isn’t vegan and it is now too difficult. I know veggies who say it’s way cheaper than eating meat and I agree!