Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

Take the car when your husband gets home, why didn’t you drop him at work and take the car?
do you work and have your own money?
is he sick of driving you around?
I think there is probably more to this.

This. OP, are you always running around after your dad?

Your partners a dick.

But if the roads are clear just walk in the road.

If you were my neighbour I’d give you a lift so you could help your dad and his dog. I think he’s being Unreasonable.

Good idea! But kick the arsehole out of you life first. Clearly he's not a keeper and doesn't deserve you.

No definitely not. If he could drive himself then he should do that (as OP should).

I’m not sure you can class it as always running around after him.

OP said that it’s icy and even she slipped when she walked on the path - I wouldn’t want my elderly relative walking to the shops like this.

Good idea! But kick the arsehole out of you life first. Clearly he's not a keeper and doesn't deserve you.

The arsehole who is at work?Presumably to pay the bills?

@inkyspells do you work?

Tell him you need the car, walk to his office and take it to your Dad's. He can walk home if it's only 5 mins or you can pick him up on your way back.
Obnoxious git.

I went shopping for milk and bread for my Mother when it was super icy, I’d rather I fell than someone with joint problems/low bone density. I don’t run around after her but I firmly told her there was no need for her to venturing out of the house.
OP, I walk to work (can drive but refuse to pay £8 a day for parking) on the days it’s absolutely chucking it down my DH insists on running me to work in the car which is completely in the wrong direction for him and means he leaves the house a full 45 mins before he has to.
He insists on doing it because he loves me and doesn’t want me to work in damp clothes or get freezing cold and that is what I think most partners would do because they care…
You’ll get people saying you should have walked it, or not gone to your dads etc but if people don’t want to help the people that are supposed to mean the most to them, then it’s a very sad situation and in your shoes I would be be seeing if there are other indications he cares so little. He sounds like an arse and I would be making moves to finish the relationship if this is the tip of a very big iceberg of thoughtlessness and lack of care.

He’s a selfish twat all the time, isn’t he?

It’s always the same. Women come asking about one incident but it turns out their partner is a full-time twat.

Why does him working during his working day, make him an 'obnoxious git'?!

OP WASN'T at work today, so had all the time to go and walk dogs, do shopping, visit relatives etc so could quite easily have uttered the words, 'I'll take the car today so I can do what I need to'. Yet she didn't.

Sure, but she could have something delivered, and let him let the dog out. I don't want to be mean, but I can understand drawing boundaries regarding elder care. This is something relevant to me at the moment, there can be mission creep when it comes to elderly relatives and it is very important to be clear what you will and won't do or you'll end up doing far too much, resenting it, and not being able to back out.

Just yesterday texted my partner that off to coop to get cat food, he's at the moment at his dads house a few miles away. His immediate response? Go very careful, it's slippy out there - and can it wait til he can bring it in a few days?

Sorry OP, this is what having a hubby/partner is about - about caring. Yours sounds horrible to you, esp with your fear of repeating last year.. I do hope next time he needs a fav, you say no and remind him of this. Be safe, hope your dad and doggy ok.

I had one like that. He couldn't do the bare minimum for me but would wet himself to help a mate or treat his mate to a big night out. The very same mates who once he left never asked where he was.

To me in a relationship or friendship we are about helping each other.

If your DH cared he would have given you a lift.

You’ll get people saying you should have walked it, or not gone to your dads etc

No, I don't think any replies have said that.

Most of the responses are suggesting that she should have had the car today (dropping the partner at work if it was too far to walk), then she could have driven to her dad's, then the partner could have continued with his working day.

Surely that is the most sensible solution?!

I would be more than sad, I would be seriously wondering what this man brings to the table because that is really unkind, selfish behaviour

It sounds like he works, so brings finances 'to the table'. If he works and the OP doesn't, it's probably even more important that he stays at work, rather than driving her to walk her dad's dog.

Course he should have dropped you. My husband would have insisted on driving me to work if needed. So many shitty men on here.

Dump him for not leaving work and coming home to give OP a lift, then return to work!

either you’ve not read the thread, or you jump to dumping a bit too easily!

Even if you could have driven yourself and he was already at work?

He
was
at
work!

jesus, do people not read that?

Yeah, we do.
We also read that he’s the boss & can come and go as he pleases.
We read that he often leaves to do things.
And we read that the mate got a lift.

And we read that the mate got a lift.

When he wasn't at work.

Is he the boss, or a manager? Managers can still be got sacked if they fuck about driving their partner to catch a bus to walk dogs instead of doing their job.

I wonder whether the OP will ever come back and say why she didn't just suggest she had the car this morning. That would have solved all of this and meant the OP could work during his working day.

I work from home and manage my own work so I can be prefer flexible on hours etc
My partner has the car because he needs it for work appointments
Normally he has a van but it’s away getting a repair
I don’t drive often (out of choice ) but for emergency I would.
It wasn’t safe out there for my dad to be walking around in and I don’t mind helping him at all.
If anyone was gonna fall I would rather me than him.
He doesn’t have a garden or yard.
Front door leads on to main path and back door is a lane.
The dog only knows to do his business on grass so would probably hold it for as long as he could.