Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

Leaving work to deal with your own dependent child and leaving work to drive your partner to a bus stop so they can go and walk a dog on the same ice they apparently can’t walk on to get to the bus stop is not comparable.

If it’s that treacherously icy you can’t walk on it then the dog does it’s business immediately outside the front door and Dad copes without some milk for a day or two. Or waits until after work.

People are taking "he can come and go as he pleases" very literally... That's the OP's assumption and she can't possibly know all the ins and outs of when he can nip out and when he can't. There may well have been other days when things have been quiet and he's nipped to B&M, but today he's busier and he can't. That's the nature of a lot of jobs. My job certainly has peaks and troughs.

Being a good spouse/supportive partner/nice person does not depend entirely on dropping everything to grant any little favour asked of you, no matter how ridiculous it is!

I couldn't leave work, even as the Manager, to take my perfectly able bodied Partner to walk a dog. I'd be laughed out of the place. The milk and the dog can wait until tonight. Drive it over when DP gets back with the car.

That said, if he's happy 'popping' all over the place for sandwiches, and to help out other people, it doesn't seem like you're particularly high on his priority list.

My narrative...oh please! I'm simply giving my opinion but since you asked...
Firstly, her partner was already on his way home when he gave his colleague a lift, he didn't leave work specifically for that purpose. Anyone who can't see the difference is obviously being obtuse.
And yes, it's ice, it's slippery but life goes on.

I am quoting you again here, OP because I think some posters have missed this.

Also, for context, OP's stated that her husband's work in 5 minutes from their home.

So, several options:

Does husband REALLY need to drive to his work 5 minutes form home? If he does, take the second key, walk 5 minutes to his work and text him to let him know that you're using the car for an hour.

Tell him you need the car every other day.

Buy the shoes things that other posters have recommended for walking in snow.

Buy a pair of snow boots.

Work on overcoming your fear of slipping on ice.

Driving on icy roads is also potentially hazardous; personally I would rather walk. I can therefore understand the husbands' reluctance to drive (OP hasn't given his reason for not wanting to leave work and drive her to her dads; was it because the back roads were icy?).

Maybe that's how you see it, but it will be worked around the business's needs.
He has responsibilities. You can't expect him to come out to facilitate walking of your dad's dog!!

If you knew you had to go to your Dads, and he lives a bus ride away, why didn’t you have the car today? You could have given your partner a lift to work, sorted your Dad and the dog out, then picked your partner up at the end of his working day.

I just love how you’ve conveniently left out the two crucial points of BLACK ICE, and the fact that he jumps at the request to take his colleague 20 mins out of his way but of course those two key points don’t fit your narrative, do they?

Hmm, I just love how you've conveniently left out the crucial points that the OP CAN DRIVE herself, and also the fact that when the husband agreed to give his friend a lift, he'd already finished work, but of course those two key points don't fit your narrative, do they?

Does husband REALLY need to drive to his work 5 minutes form home?
A 5 minute drive is 5 miles on a 60mph road!

@inkyspells so his work mate is held in higher regard than his partner?

No. Don't accept this. What he did was hurtful, lazy and disrespectful.

When we love someone, we care for them.

He doesn't seem to give a shit about you, OP.

That’s mean.
My DH is also the boss and he picked me up from the station and dropped me home en route to an appt. He didn’t have to and it was a bit out of his way, but he didn’t it.

So, the OP could have dropped him at work and then had the car all day!

The work mate was given a lift yesterday AFTER the working day was finished, not during it.

I completely understand, I had to ask my husband to drive me to walk the dog 😂I know but I fell on the ice yesterday morning and I am really scared.
He did say I had to wait until nearer the end of the day as he was working but he did do it .
I think your partner could have been really busy with work or thought you would have to walk to get your Dads shopping anyway.

Thankfully no fracture but some nasty swelling affecting his eyeball that needs lots of ice and painkillers. He was lucky – one woman was rushed into surgery because her ankle break was so bad.

OP needs to clarify this!
@inkyspells

Edited as I meant to quote:

Does husband REALLY need to drive to his work 5 minutes form home?
A 5 minute drive is 5 miles on a 60mph road!

@Carycach4

He is, thank you. Some very nasty swelling that needs monitoring but no fracture.

Exactly.

Maybe start your own thread?

He just sits out front and waits for me in a convenient place. It gives him a chance to listen to his (dreadful) music for 5 or 10 minutes as he can’t do that when he’s working and he likes to take a break from the computer now and again too!

I wouldn’t expect him to do it during work hours but I’d absolutely expect him to do it outside of working hours.

If it was my DP I’d be taking him to his dads, taking him shopping for his dads stuff and then driving him back home again.

I wouldn’t expect my partner to get the bus to visit his dad in these circumstances.

Is there a reason you can’t drive yourself when he gets home?

If it was my DP I’d be taking him to his dads, taking him shopping for his dad's stuff and then driving him back home again.

@Eyeshadow even if he was perfectly capable of driving himself?!

wrong thread

I think you’re meant to be on the Brentwood house thread 🤣🤣🤣

yep!