To still be hurt that my DSis stole my baby name?

[Snowberryfields]

My DSis and I both had a baby last year and were roughly due at around the same time. I have had my heart set on a certain name for such a long time. It’s in the top 100 names but isn’t particularly common around my area. My sister knew this as I have made it pretty clear that I adored this name. You can guess what happened next. My sister gave birth a month before me and she used my name. Now, I know I don’t have ownership over a name but this really hurt to be honest. I didn’t immediately say anything to her as I know she had just given birth and didn’t upset her so soon after the delivery (along with being heavily pregnant myself at the time). But last week I did confront her and she said that I am being ‘ridiculous’ and it is just a name and I should get over myself. I called my child something else obviously. I feel horrible saying it but I still look at my child and imagine them with that name. Am I being unreasonable here?

Your sister is an out of order cow bag.

You made it clear you "wanted" this name! You can't bag a name and stop someone else using it .... it is not yours to own.
I am staggered that you minded and that others agree! It is totally petty.

OP I'd be annoyed - yes cousins can have the same name but it's definitely not something I would want so I can totally understand why you didn't use the name.

The funny thing about names is that over time people just become them don't they. In a few years it will seem unthinkable to you that your daughter could have been anything but the name you gave her.

I have 2 sons. DS2 has my very favourite boy name ever, because DH vetoed it very quickly for DS1 so I found something else I loved. I tried my luck again with it for DS2 and for whatever reason this time DH went for it. But knowing my boys now, DS1 absolutely has the right name for him, and he just IS that name, it's crazy to me now to think that he might have had DS2's name.

Haha. There’s a male name in our family that made me think as a child maybe names were being rationed. Dad, uncle, brother, son, cousin etc all sharing a name wasn’t unusual year’s ago.

She's a definite d**k! I would annoy her by saying how much you love your dcs name and you're so glad you picked it. Make her question herself. That was a really spiteful thing to do. Does she always try to outdo you?

It was a really dickish thing for her to do and I think you were right to get it out in the open. Leave it now (as hard as it is).

Maybe call the baby ally so it doesn't sting so much 😉

I think it depends on whether your sister is generally a cow or if she is usually considerate and thoughtful. If the latter, you have to accept that she also liked the name and is allowed to call her child whatever she wants. I loved a name through pregnancy and fully intended to name DD it, to the point I had called her it in my mind for the whole time. When she was born, DH was like 'nah, that's not her name...' and it was true it didn't seem to suit her, so we called her something else. A name I didn't love as much, but do now, as it's her.

Alice is my real name! If this helps you at all, I get called Al so much Paul Simon might have written call me al for me and at school the most common thing said to me was “who the fuck is Alice”.
I went through a phase of using my middle name for a while but it never took off, but Alice is a really crap name to have. “Alice in wonderland” the second you have a thought and daydream.

Fuck Alice! Sister did you a favour!

She was due literally a month later. That completely changes it as she was obviously thinking of her baby having that name until 8 months pregnant!

Time to lay the groundwork for baby no 2.

"Gosh, I've always loved the name Branflake Biggins Biffincheese!"

You should never share baby names before your baby is here and named. Not only does it invite people to "steal" your chosen name (of course you don't own a name) but it also invites opinions too. We've never shared names we've picked out, we never found out the sex anyway and for 2 of my children we actually only decided when they were a week old. Much better to keep names to yourself, you'll know better next time.

That’s really shitty of her.

Is she jealous of you/was she jealous of you growing up?

Weird thing to do.

If it’s any consolation Alice is a bit meh in my opinion. Sorry to any Alice’s, except Dr Mickhead who hates her name Alice 😁

You should still go for the name you love, and make peace with yourself over it. Can you change it.
Don't give a damn what the sister thinks or says.

You should have gone ahead and called your kid that name. Yes it was horrible of your sister. Do you like the name you chose? I changed my child’s name after about a year. It was difficult at the time but it has worked out well.

Possibly because she wanted it too but didn’t want the inevitable inflict?

I’m actually not sure I could forgive this.

I'd find that pretty unforgivable to be honest and I wouldn't be sharing anything with her ever again 😔 Arm's length from now on.

I think the lesson to be learnt here is dont divulge names until after the baby arrives

If you'd told your sister you were going to call your baby a aprticular unusual name that you loved and she called her baby that specific name i can understand why you would feel hurt.
I may be biased as this scenario happened to me 17 yrs ago.
What happened was as the years went by i went off the original name that my sister "stole" and preferred the name i used .
This also happened to a friend of mine, her sister new Isabella was the name she wanted to call her baby,the siter gave birth first and caled her baby Isabella.
My friend was upset and deliberated long about what to do.
She decided to called her baby Belle ....all hell broke loose with the sister saying you knew we were going to use that specific shortened version of Isabella,my friend said you knew i was going to call my daughter Isabella .....thats life.
Both girls grew into their names .

I really do not see the problem
It is JUST a name

You must 100% do this!

I voted YABU unless it's a family name. My DS is named after my DF, and my DB had his DCs first. He had two girls and if he'd had a boy, however if he'd had a boy first then the name (which was also the name of at least 10 previous boys in various generations) would have been his not mine.
If he and SIL had gone on to have a 3rd after their two DDs and that had been a boy, it would have belonged to whoever had a boy first.

Definitely get a dog and call it Alice!

Allissa would have been a nice name to use.