Did I do something wrong? Employee snapped at me

[Brooklans]

For context I am male. A woman who reports to me joined the company 6 weeks ago snapped at me and wondered if this is simply a misunderstanding.

A few weeks ago we had to travel to another city for work, I said I’d drove us both there the following morning at 8am. She gave her address (she’s staying at her parents temporarily) and then later sent me a text so I “had her number for tomorrow morning”. The next morning I arrived slightly early and didn’t call beforehand, and rang the doorbell twice. When she got in the car she said “Please don’t ring the doorbell again, it’s not my house it’s my parents I’m only staying there for the time being”.

She announced the role wasn’t right for her shortly afterwards, and on her final day I remembered she had some company equipment at home (for WFH purposes) and offered to pick them up from her parents house the following evening to save her bringing them back to the office. She text me the next day asking what time I will arrive. I told her and she texted back “Okay. Don’t ring the door bell again, just call when you’re parked outside and I will bring the equipment to the car”. When I arrived later I pulled up and rung her telling her I was outside. Afterwards I got out the car and walked to the front door, I arrived just ask she opened the door with the equipment, she looked taken aback and said “I told you to stay in the car!” I said “You said not to ring the doorbell I wasn’t going to” As she walked to the car with the equipment she said “I told you I’d bring the equipment to the car!” Put the equipment in the boot and walked off back into the house without saying bye. Thoughts?

Eh?! Anyone who doesn't work, which might include her parents!

Or people who are unwell or work night shift etc. As a night owl I'm never awake at 8am unless I'm working that day.

OP, IME people only react to situations like this in the way she did, when earlier more polite signals that they're unhappy with the other persons behaviour have been completely ignored.

Which doesn't surprise me at all, given your reaction to being challenged the second time about not waiting in the car (which was the only reasonable way to interpret "text on arrival and I'll bring the equipment out to the car") was to argue the toss over the exact wording used and pedantically say she'd only said not to ring the doorbell. The correct response upon being challenged would have been to realise you'd misinterpreted the text and apologise. By arguing back it came across as rude, overstepping and acting as though you think you should be entitled to do that.

You may not mean anything by it, but all the same you're perhaps not listening when others communicate their boundaries to you. You're trying to be nice, but by doing what you want/think is best, without stopping to consider whether or not it's wanted.

I'm wondering how many other occasions you've done what you think best, on this work trip or at work etc and this woman has felt railroaded into whatever-it-is. Reminds me of a much more minor and far less extreme version of the cup-of-tea/consent analogy.

I don't interpret her behaviour as particularly rude or assertive, but as having gone beyond that into irritated and defensive, because being subtle and politely assertive hasn't worked.

@SapphireOpal also thinking it’s the woman employee but then why ask us about her motives when she knows them?! It’s a mind bender 😅

Reverses are stupid and pointless. People should just say what they mean, it causes unnecessary confusion. I usually bail out of reverses.

On the first occasion she gave you her number for the following day. I would have taken that to mean to call/text her when you are outside. I would have texted her to say I’m outside I wouldn’t have gone and rang a doorbell especially as it wasn’t her house. The second time, she told you to wait at the car and she’d fetch the stuff out a you ignored her. You should have just waited in or by the car. She snapped because you ignored her.

What sex change? 😳

Read the thread.

OP are you a woman pretending to be a man in this post or a man pretending to be a woman in your other posts? Has OP even replied again to this thread??

Weird.

@needmorebooks

or of course the Op could be a gay man in his other threads re dating / boyfriends...

I don't know many gay men that would post about asking a man to lick their pussy like OP did...

@PattyBladelll

ah...I missed that comment

so it is clearly a reverse

or totally made up...

But in the other threads, she said “I’m looking for the opinions of other women.” Other women, like her.

Yeah this is clearly a made up post, 8 pages of replies and OP never responded, what a waste of time.

She is embarrassed by tge state on the house.

The behaviour was odd but "without saying bye"... Really?? Who cares. You're posting (for some reason) about her odd behaviour.. You know it's odd not much point needing confirmation and she's gone now anyway.
But the didn't say bye addition I think unnecessary, I'd be more confused about her behaviour in general to have even noticed that unimportant detail given it was also the least odd thing she did.

She sent you her number so bit odd why you’d ring the doorbell without messaging first to say i’m outside. Some people are funny about people coming to their home etc. Could be more going on, guess you’ll never know.

It wasn't 'Don't ring the doorbell.' It was 'Don't ring the doorbell. Phone when you arrive and I will bring the equipment to the car.'

That tells the OP to ring and await the arrival of the equipment. Not ring and collect the equipment from the door.

Not when someone specifically asks you not to ring the bell. It’s similar to how many parents ask people not to ring the doorbell because the baby is sleeping. Do you ring the bell then as well? Or when someone has worked a night shift?

The answer is to respect people’s wishes.