Did I do something wrong? Employee snapped at me

[Brooklans]

For context I am male. A woman who reports to me joined the company 6 weeks ago snapped at me and wondered if this is simply a misunderstanding.

A few weeks ago we had to travel to another city for work, I said I’d drove us both there the following morning at 8am. She gave her address (she’s staying at her parents temporarily) and then later sent me a text so I “had her number for tomorrow morning”. The next morning I arrived slightly early and didn’t call beforehand, and rang the doorbell twice. When she got in the car she said “Please don’t ring the doorbell again, it’s not my house it’s my parents I’m only staying there for the time being”.

She announced the role wasn’t right for her shortly afterwards, and on her final day I remembered she had some company equipment at home (for WFH purposes) and offered to pick them up from her parents house the following evening to save her bringing them back to the office. She text me the next day asking what time I will arrive. I told her and she texted back “Okay. Don’t ring the door bell again, just call when you’re parked outside and I will bring the equipment to the car”. When I arrived later I pulled up and rung her telling her I was outside. Afterwards I got out the car and walked to the front door, I arrived just ask she opened the door with the equipment, she looked taken aback and said “I told you to stay in the car!” I said “You said not to ring the doorbell I wasn’t going to” As she walked to the car with the equipment she said “I told you I’d bring the equipment to the car!” Put the equipment in the boot and walked off back into the house without saying bye. Thoughts?

I'd say she's quit because she's realised she can't work with you, you're not treating her as an equal. She can maybe see there's no malicious intent behind your actions, so nothing to complain about exactly, but all the same she can't put up with it.

Exactly my thoughts

She appears to have no problem whatsoever asserting herself and stating her requirements, though. So without more evidence I'm doubtful about this interpretation.

You are both weird.

why didn’t you stay in the car second time round as agreed?

Good thing she's not staying, so you won't have to deal with her again. I could understand being annoyed if you had rung the doorbell again after she specifically asked you not to you, but she shouldn't have snapped at you or tried to order you to stay in the car, especially when you were doing her a favour.

Wtf!

She’d left the business at the point, he was no longer in a position of power over her. You’ll stop at nothing to defend this man won’t you 😂

Personally I like direct women, I am not British and think there’s far too much fake politeness in this country. Her reactions would not be considered rude where I am from. Her text wasn’t rude it was just straight to the point. I don’t know why women are expected to fluff up their text messages, and why does she need to say please and thank you on that specific one 😂 Honestly, so soft.

And also why you had to drive or why did you have to pick up equipment? She could have just returned it herself

is there an element of you wanting to have some contact with her outside of work and THAT’s what made her snappy and wary of you? Generally you seem too drawn
to her/her parents house and too
involved
looks suspicious

Im reasonably neutral on the situation - just not leaping to fill in gaps.

You can be direct and still include a please or thank you. And since, as you say, she'd left the company, she had no reason to accept the OP's offer unless it suited her. So I don't buy the suggestion that it was terribly important that he read her mind and not set foot on the property, since it was obviously in her hands to avoid that scenario by returning the equipment herself.

Saying thanks and goodbye to someone doing you a favour isn't fake politeness - it's very basic manners.

Nothing stopping her from returning the equipment herself if she wanted to.

I thought this too. She sounds creeped out by him. Like she’s trying her best to keep him at arms length, but he keeps overstepping the boundaries and stepping onto her parents property 😂

I mean she handed in her notice a few weeks in after a work trip with him and just when she thought she was rid he asks to come to her house again the following evening 😂 Poor cow

"No thanks, I'll drop it back myself" would have been the obvious way to deal with that.

Sorry but people saying it was fine for him to ring the door at 8am, it really wasn’t good etiquette at all. No doubt she didn’t want her parents woken.

also totally normal for OP to pick up her equipment or failing that opt for courier. She doesn’t drive and therefore it likely isn’t easy to drop off herself. Really can’t comment accurately otherwise without knowing full context but clearly the job isn’t match her expectations.

😂😂 she’ll be asking her parents to install video surveillance after this incident (let’s hope it’s not Ring Doorbell 😬)

I think she was rude but depending on your manner (I'm not suggesting there was anything wrong) I might have felt you were being over familiar and crossing the line between work and personal. Being hostile is a signal to back off.

I was living with an abusive man (my ex thankfully) and my work didn’t know - assumed i was living with my parents and I would’ve been beaten up if a male from work had rung the door bell. Sounds like more going on, maybe this is why she left too as her controller has told her to. I am seeing another side to this borne of my bad experiences

Parents are possibly religious weirdos who would have a shitfit if she got into a car with a male she wasn't married to?

But thinking it over, I have never had a situation where a male from work drove to my home, or any of my family's homes, let alone rang the doorbell. If you were early, ringing the doorbell is poor anyway- and you knew it wasnt her flat she lived alone in. You may be disturbing someone sick, waking a baby, stopping someone from falling asleep after a night-shift, annoying the family dog, forcing a creaky old arthritic lady to come down the stairs to answer the door. You may also be exacerbating a DV or coercive control situation. You just don't know and you know what? It's none of your business. You shouldn't be knocking on her door.

It's just annoying, irritating, invasive.

We don't know why she left the business, you are definitely projecting. It might be her parents told her to leave, it might be she has another role it might be she anything. You are just joining a few sentences into a scenario.

Behaviour in your country isn't relevant if this didn't take place there. The reason this person is finding it weird is because most people do not react like that to the situations he describes. Same as you find it weird that our approach is less direct. People do not expect women to say please and thank you. They expect people to. If you choose not to that's up to you but people will find it rude.

OP let it go, if she has an exit interview you may find out more information.

You sound creepy, why do you keep going to her house? Most employers don’t do that, especially random men going to women’s houses.

First line.... "For context i am male"...

.... yet all your previous threads are about dating, as a woman.

Indeed

I'd be breathing a sigh of relief she resigned.
I imagine daily life is a struggle for her...

I find it weird you wouldn’t just text to say you were outside when you collected the colleague the first time.
It’s also strange you went to their door after texting. When they said call / text when you’re here that was the clue they wanted you to wait in the car. If you were unsure, idk why you didn’t reply asking if they needed help carrying anything. I suspect this translates to your management style too, and that didn’t work for them. Not everyone likes us in this world.

She's in an abusive relationship.

The cunts a nut job

How old is she? My young adult dc will text to say they’re outside rather than get out of the car. However, you didn’t anything wrong.

Had you arrived at silly o’clock in the morning, I would have presumed that your colleague didn’t want her parents to be woken up, but 8am is reasonable.